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Amanda Pringle Apr 2020
Brookyln Nine-Nine flashes across the screen of my laptop
I wonder if this show makes you  think about me

Because even the obnoxious theme song reminds me of

That oversized, purple couch I will never sit on again ,
The Christmas tree you hosted in your living room until March,
Or the pictures that your daughter drew, strung up on the wall next to the sign you bought reading
“You Are My Sunshine”

I wonder if you ever bought that gray sectional,
Or put the tree up extra early this year
Or moved that sign to your daughter’s bedroom door

Every cheesy one-liner Andy Samberg says
Leaves the words you left lonely
In the back of my head.

You were right, that night
When I drove south to a familiar nowhere
To see an open door with your lopsided grin.
You were right,
I think I did love you.

I promised myself I would not let the memory of you ruin this television show.

But I find it hard to watch,
I find it hard to think,
I find it hard to know that I must coincide with the inability to know
how you are
or who you are
Anymore.

Rumors tell me about the weight you’ve lost,
And how the speckled gray now covers nearly all of your freshly shaven head.

I know that your skin would not have slowed to wrinkle with mine,
but I cannot help but roam around the unknown of you and I.




Our episodes did not end
With a bittersweet goodbye or a tragic farewell,
The cliffhanger too skewed to draw conclusions from
A forgettable ending to a promising pilot.

We were not a series.
I did not make the finale.
Life is not a network sitcom
I cannot watch the scenes of your life that proceed without me

As much as I want,
Your existence didn’t cease when your credits rolled to me.
And with every memorable scene we did share,
I am thankful that it did not broadcast on NBC.
solfang Apr 2020
let it go,
and it's going
to be okay;
my mind gently
comforted my
broken heart

still,
my mind chooses
what it wants to see;
but my heart
knew exactly
what it felt
my feelings right now
Patrick Harrison Apr 2020
I am a hymn, in a hidden drawer.
I'm just waiting to be found,
like my grandfather,
and his father
and the father
before
him.

But what if-    I am the broken shower rod,
the abandoned one?
the less-than important one?
I ask because I'm terrified
of losing more than just
myself .

Self commentary aside, are we not all
two halves of the same loaf of bread?
Destined to grow mold, or become hard and
bitter? Can we not see our own mortality until we
are truly and utterly faced with it?
I know it's just a maze.

And like my Father's son, I am a mouse looking
for cheese in the farthest corners, the deepest
pieces of my own existence.
But like cheese,
and like mice,
one day I will grow old, and wither away.

So brush the dust and burn the fur,
watch my skeleton grey.
Don't mind the mess
from the "accident."
I was never meant to stay.
No, I was never meant to stay at all.
These nights are filled with fear.
Tormenting grins, sick displeasurable sins.
Oh, look another silent tear.
Pure dominance against frail figures,
fingers roam like they are at home.
Demanding hands gripping hips, thighs, anything in sight.
Always right there, never alone.
A future that is seemingly unclear
Tugging at every curve, silencing cries, punishing pleads.
Useless to fight...
Cruel shadows perpetually lurk near.
Planting a seed, making them scream until they bleed.
Skin so thin... it's rather sheer.
Pages flipped through like a book that wasn't meant to be read, at least not like this.
Being alive yet feeling as though they are dead.
Playing games, stealing worth, damaging minds.
It doesn't matter; For it's all the same through thy predators' eyes.
Not sure if it's finished or not, but then again, things of this nature never truly cease to exist.
Why not be blamed
For something I did not do?
A crime is not a crime
Unless it has been committed
But this my friends,
It was an accident,
And I am afraid I did not do it

Why not be blamed
For a victimless crime
When it happened right before my eyes
We take the time and time again
And it starts to get real
The happenings begin

Why not be a motherless child
In a world that makes that okay
I am a victim of a crime
A crime that can't be faked

Why not leave
Mother dearest
When I need you most
To work my way through this
I'm starting to hear voices in my head
Help me, mother,
I just want this to end
I am not crazy
The voices haven't pushed me over the edge
Find me, mother
Even though I know you're dead
I am writing this for a friend who is having issues at her home right now. I hope you like it, dear friend.
Van Xuan Apr 2020
Can someone tell me
How to understand
The phrase she gave to me
'I'm sorry and good bye'
I've lost innocence.

I've lost faith.

I've lost my soul to this dreary place.

It's so cold, it's so very dark.

My lonely heart has lost it's spark.

I beg for a little mercy.

I cry for some kind of grace.

There's nothing, not even a trace.

The hellish demons in my mind elope with the ever lasting darkness I've came to find.

The clock has chimed...

I'm out of time.
This is a poem I wrote about the hopelessness I felt while suicidal.
Flynn Apr 2020
how hard can it be
to feel free?

Thoughts of a stream
Leaves shades of cream
The water gleams
Beguiling, clean
Wending to breathe
Through the mouth to the sea

I’ll settle for air
High, up there
The flight of stairs
Stand. Stare
Isolated where
Wind can tear
cold. care?
I want to be there
I NEED the air

My heart is pounding,
The beats compounding.
Louder, resounding.
Sickening thuds sounding
alarm. It’s astounding me
Hounding me
Drowning me

I want to scream
Inappropriate, it’s deemed
I think of the leaf, cream
No. The Cerulean stream
wandering unleashed,
Unfettered. Free
Just trying to breathe

As I wander, I wonder
How hard can it be
To feel free?
Written on a cold day struggling to find a reason
April Apr 2020
how come,

you never feel the need to make your hair, ever

but manage to look like someone i'd spend my whole life with.

how come,

i could let myself drown in your

smelly morning breath

(it smells like daisies for me, though)

how come,

i end up thinking

about all the details on your face

from your crinkles to your moles.

it keeps me wide awake.

how come,

i shut my windows

countless times,

yet you are my sunshine.
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