I want to see you smile
No matter what that takes
Understand if we can't fix our love
I've made too many mistakes
I desperately wish to go backwards in time
Do things the right way instead
In the moment we never can be sure
The future waiting ahead
I would not hurt you on purpose
No intention to cause you pain
If able to warn my younger self I would
Heart would never wear that stain
When we started I was immature
Had a lot of growing up to do
Nobody had meant as much
None could ever matter like you
I do not understand how I got so lucky
Fell into my lap
Found everything I was looking for
Without any compass or map
How we stumbled upon such treasure
Most spend whole lives without
We beat the odds and circumstances
What others only dream about
These days sense feelings slipping
Through fingers bit by bit
Try to catch the pieces as they fall
Scramble as ground they hit
Hands cannot hold the weight we carry
Full of old resentment
Wonder if we were brave and let go
Our lives would one day be content
Attached at hips from the get-go
In sync
It didn't seem real
Disbelief that an angel like you
Shared the same attraction I feel
In love
Free of worry
The first time in my life
Made me want to be a better person
You'd be proud to call your wife
Then lost sight of our initial goals
Touch with reality
First steps toward the end were taken
Sets of eyes too blind to see
It began to disintegrate
We were weak and unable to change
The happy ending envisioned
Moved out of range
Now it is a constant struggle
Getting over past distress
Clings to every passing moment
Pre-existing stress
And I am doing my best to help
Problems keep stacking up
Efforts no longer impress you
Did they stop being enough?
My attempts to you disappointing
Rekindle the spark we once had
Demeanor remains indifferent
Whether I am angry
Happy
Or sad
Let go I'm afraid I must
If I even can
Without you have no purpose
Safety net or back-up plan
Cause it is obvious you are all I want
After all these years
A reason I'm still holding on tight
You are worth unanswered questions and tears
We are on two different pages it seems
I'm the last to know
It's my turn to bathe in rejection
To watch you go
That misery has circled back around
Drowning relentless regret
Torturing mind nightly
I'd still never choose to forget
Though things are different now
Moments shared will stay the same
Heart is yours to own forever
Regardless who owns your last name
Perhaps our roads will cross
Present ******* is left behind
Separate definitions of success
Magically realign
Cause I am sick of waiting for nothing
Been awhile since you showed you care
To get used to your neglect is tough
Be grateful just having you there
You consume every thought
Obsessing words you say
Coded meanings
In vague clues thrown my way
Mind when I am stuck stabbing my skin
You've been there before
Swear I'd throw all my points in the trash
You'd not talk to other girls anymore
Alone
I don't know what to do
Become the only one you need
It's too late for that
Your soul is ready to be freed
I miss you when you're home
Your focus is miles away
Not flirting with some pretty girl
Business gets in the way
But have to accept what little you give
No matter how it kills me inside
Refuse to compromise or cooperate
Truth you're determined to stubbornly hide
To say goodbye completely destroys me
Bring to life my greatest fear
What's the point of holding us down?
I'm not even wanted here
I sit here every day by myself trying to hold us down and be your rock but i feel like im just holding you back
