you're leaving me here
to make memories
that I will be forced to
look back on
in sadness
when you all
leave me again
one
by
one.

I want to trace
 your edges
 feel your concaves
where skin hugs the 
 boarders of your physicality 
Collapsing into this warm embrace 
 I Am here, and nothing else matters 
This moment cannot be refabricated
So I cherish
 as this texture 
 engulfes my very being 
Sliding through me, 
 wave after wave 
 Soft tremors radiating my core
 quivering as my valleys
 press tightly against your crest
Penetrating deep beneath the surface 
 my sea has no bottom. 
Building creative tension 
 Gripping the remaining foundation 
 Ceaseless crescendo
All boundaries crumble;
  Where do you end, 
  Where do I begin?

Claustrophobic
Cockroaches in corners
Concrete slabs
Clutching, cloaking, choking

Confined and
Constrained of a
Counterfeit life, I was the perfect
Charlatan of my encompassing separation.

Compelled into Self, oh yet
Cumbersome conditioning
Cultivating awareness within
Concentrated compression. I,

Cave!
Capitulation. Cannot withstand these
Currents of clouded
Compensation.

Comfortable in this
Chaos, as I've finally
Concluded: It comprises all of me.
Completely void

Contently
Containing nothing,
Clear from attached perceptions
Captivating Silence.

Come through me
Crawl into my
Caverns
Crash unto my shore

Caressing sensuality
       Continuously
Cascading        down, down, down
Composing my entirety.

Noisy
  Mind Looping
Looking for its way out
As it feeds on a drama
This is not even mine.

Deep breath.
  A pause.
Some clarity.
  The mind fights.
I'm still here.
In my point of presence.
  Come home.
         We are here now.

It will wash away.
  The waves cleanse
As they reverse away from the coast
the undercurrent pulls
  back
into me.

I AM beholden to no one.
  I AM unto my own.
  I AM here for me.
  As the separation fades.
  I can see.

Death
   but no release
Empty again
  in ever more ways
But it's okay
  Don't be sorry
It's here for me
And I'm not suffering
  Something is happening here
A deeper change
    It brings me into a depth
     a stillness
Can I accept it?
  Am I ready?
    I'm allowing the change.
      cling to nothing.
When I'm silent
    it speaks.
Open up
         Listen.
   It doesn't make sense
But I don't care anymore
   It's just an experience
     in the midst of realization.
I am here
  it can serve me.
It's unpleasant now
  as I breathe my way through
But I can be in grace
as I go beyond
and see another view.

Soft Forgotten Whisper
Caressing the corners of
my truth
Stirring a sweet and gentle remembrance
It goes beyond thought,
mental comprehension,
but a solid knowingness pervades
in the tender sounds of silence
when I allow myself through
the thick façade barricades
that, at times, appear so automatic.
They dissolve, of course
with a sticky residue intact
But that sense seems to grow
Beckoning me with permeating tranquility
Stillness
Radiance
It comes to me, without seeking
I Am here;
I Am home.
Distractions attempt to evade,
through this
I realize
the knowingness does not wane,
steady silent presence
Continuous composure
In awareness.
No thing to grasp ahold
Swimming in serene emptiness
Relaxed into my creation.

Hard lines, sharp edges
would like to wash the harshness away
My maturity nudges me to stay
to breathe and
face these aspects
You are not me
yet I feel like I'm blowing away

A large deep breath
as I remain and allow
I walk and move
shifting energy around

Heavy focus dazed in and out
I allow myself
I open now
I feel myself challenged again and again,
but I remain here
present, staring

you straight in the eye.
My creation
buckles under my gaze
it tries to play games
but it cannot sustain.

My stomach churns,
skin chilled yet burns
But I remain.
Here, observing
Never truly fading

Burned away
in a fiery haze
yet
I still Remain.

I AM here
But what I thought was me is fading
which can be odd at times, to say the least

I AM here
and still living in the shading
of an old design, that's not yet released

I AM here
The many rhythms changing
As the tired identity continues obsolete

Farewell my friend
the dissolution will come to end
Now we are free
As you open up to thee

Acquired form appears ambiguous  
with true biology slightly contiguous
layered together in amalgamation
Antiquated DNA disfiguration

The patterns are broken
dynamic expression
beyond attachment
to any creation
I AM that---
I AM.

the woman in white said to me
“have you not learned?”
she picked up my thoughts with her hands
and held them away from me
so that all that was left was a blank, white, light.

look up at her, holding my thoughts
never realized you are limbo itself
when you reside there

she said
“be here!”
and threw my thoughts back down on me
suddenly i was lying on my bed
one leg under covers
one leg out
cars zooming under my window
sun barely peeking through my blinds.