If everything will come to an end
My past self will come back
I dont want it to happen
But its happening
I dont want to be colder
I dont want to be a numb
Please help me. Save me
Make me stay

I am not beautiful
When I am sad
Because my depression
Is not the pretty
Made for tv kind

It’s the kind
That keeps me in bed
All day and night
Not able to get up
But also unable to sleep

The kind that means
I didn’t take a shower
Or bath all week
Because I couldn’t
Even put in that small amount of effort

It’s not the kind
That people want to see
To take artsy photos of
That could just be fixed
If only I could be happier

It’s the kind that means
I’ll be up all night again
And I’ll have bags under my eyes
And I won’t put on makeup
Because I just can’t do anything

And I can’t make myself study
Or do any work at all
Because my mind
Just can’t stop thinking
About everything and nothing

The kind that brings up
All of the memories
That I try to forget
And that try to **** me
Or maybe that’s just me

I want to improve
I wish I was better
please, someone, help me
understand my pain and suffering
please send a doctor
I am from perfectionists
but they haven't  fixed me
and I'm sad that I'm not ok
and it's not ok that I'm sad
I just want to feel something
when I can only feel nothing
why does Salem haunt me
why do witches follow me
and ghosts love me
I just want to feel safe
I just want to feel perfect

head fuzzy and wuzzy
fatigue of the sould
won't leave me alone.

eyes have mast
4 years have passed

my stomach erupts daily
i feel 100% full crazy

unable to cope
devoid of hope

where now to turn
what is there to learn

i feel so close to the end
can't reach out to family or friend

words keep coming via mouth and key
saying goodbye to life and this cycle of hell for me

"I love you"

We may say it
but do we mean it?

we search for it
but do we know how to handle it?

"I love you" is one of the most beautiful phrases to tell
a person, they're someone special in your life

but this phrase has been abused
this phrase as been misused

to describe a petty crush
or it has been confused with lust

"I love you" nowadays is said to anyone
when it's meant for your "the one"

the girl/boy you just met online,
"i love you"

the girl/boy you just had *** with,
"i love you"

the girl/boy you hate,
"i love you"

i love you is suppose to be something genuine
you tell and you want all your loved ones to say

but why do we treat it as an excuse or a reason
to force someone...to stay?

Have you thought to check up on me?
Have you thought about me?
Have you left your own head?
Or are you leaving me for dead?

Life’s crazy, huh?
Full of false accusations
Just because you feel something doesn’t mean you’ll act on it
Sometimes it’s better to shove emotions into the darkest place in your mind

I hope for the best but expect the worst
Am I a realist?
Or depressed?
Or just seeking attention?

All things considered, I shouldn’t be here
My mother should have aborted me and lived her life
But now she has me
Gods, I’ve caused her so much pain

One of these days, I’ll have to courage
To cut slightly too deep
To jump off the ledge
To pull the trigger

But for now, I take my anger and emptiness out on my flesh
Gray creating red
Moonlight shining through my window
As I hide what I’ve done

It’s not like I’m ashamed
I just don’t want to disappoint them
Everyone thinks so highly of me
It’d be best if I just disappeared

Like I never existed

The red stains my clothes as it soaks through
Creating wet spots on a black surface
Wearing dark colors hides the blood
Hides my true emotions

My true intentions.