Have you thought to check up on me?
Have you thought about me?
Have you left your own head?
Or are you leaving me for dead?
Life’s crazy, huh?
Full of false accusations
Just because you feel something doesn’t mean you’ll act on it
Sometimes it’s better to shove emotions into the darkest place in your mind
I hope for the best but expect the worst
Am I a realist?
Or depressed?
Or just seeking attention?
All things considered, I shouldn’t be here
My mother should have aborted me and lived her life
But now she has me
Gods, I’ve caused her so much pain
One of these days, I’ll have to courage
To cut slightly too deep
To jump off the ledge
To pull the trigger
But for now, I take my anger and emptiness out on my flesh
Gray creating red
Moonlight shining through my window
As I hide what I’ve done
It’s not like I’m ashamed
I just don’t want to disappoint them
Everyone thinks so highly of me
It’d be best if I just disappeared
Like I never existed
The red stains my clothes as it soaks through
Creating wet spots on a black surface
Wearing dark colors hides the blood
Hides my true emotions
My true intentions.
My first poem of 2020 is this mess...Sorry...I'll just go...
