There’s a difference between hearing and listening
For 19 years, I heard my voice
As sweet as honey
As smooth as a baby's skin
With an alto voice range
It rang in my head through the day and night
By plenty conversations I had with peers and family alike
See, I sounded sophisticated
Like a classy woman who knows her value
I sounded professional with big words I learned
From many novels I fancied
But I didn't listen to my voice
I heard the authority
I know what I said and I heard what I spoke
One day I decided to listen to my voice
I wrote a poem to a 14 year old
Telling baby girl to not be so shy
Telling baby girl to not be afraid to be herself
Telling baby girl that she's a precious diamond who didn't burst
Under the pressure that surrounded her
And I listened
And understood why some say women like me are too loud
They know our voices will cause shifts
And make some changes
I ignored them and wrote more
I performed at open mics
I listened to the raw talent and the voice I ignored
My attention was caught by the voice I was blessed with
Just like loud thunder and lightning
It boomed and caused many to listen to me
My voice needs to be heard and will continue to be heard
For as long as I can
My voice will sustain me
After all, my voice doesn't lie to me
-Mia J
11/9/2018
© 2018 Mia J

Did you even hear me?
   I heard every single me, humbled?

a bee buzzes,
a scream shrills,
a horn honks,
but silence...
silence...
Silence sounds...
it's not the absence of sound
but much more,
more than I expected
in the lows of loss.
It's like waves...
clashes of particles in the air
and tumbling together
in a rush of fusion,
movement.
Silence is not...
lack,
but an abundance,
of more...
more possibilities,
new ways of hearing,
new ways of feeling...
being...
MORE.

A milestone of life
Was marked last week:
     I wasn't hit
     I aged one week
So, nothing really,
So to speak.
But
In my right ear
Came a humming,
Caused by nothing
     (and this sounds funny)
Yet, the sound is something
Ringing in my ear.
     (but really, more like a humming)
I find solace,
When alone and thinking,
The sound I hear,
Louder than blinking
     (which isn't funny)
Assures me that
My motor's running.

How many times have
We each said that
One to another,
You to me
And me to you,
Just a word and yet
A whole sentence,
Entire paragraphs on occasion,
Hey hello,
Hey how's it going?
Hey, I have missed you
And I love you
And I am so very very glad
We are in one another's lives
Because it, and this, and we
Are precious,

And although you in your mood
And anger and self-righteous
ADHD infused rage
May never say hey to me
Again in this life,
Even though soon
If not already
Your strop will thaw
And your softness return but
Stay painted in a corner
Against the risk of finding love,
Although you only see the ****** bits
And focus on anything but those
Truly great memories we have,
Despite all that
I am am still here,
And despite verse two I am still
Standing here,

And I am still saying

HEY

Can you hear?

Avidly, the war of roses
So settled an argument
For a silent reproach, have what loses
A yet and a set time, for a hidden arrangement

Speed with a definitive smile
On the behalf of ides we never sated
Without the spoil to be, of an earning while
Saved from a declining share, in fated...

Doors
In the vanity we make, with surreal liberty's
Somewhere to love a silence, that has you to form
Dreams and a stir of wonder, with a reaching host to seek

Simple wishes for a graceful season, sun in the sharing...
Shown the respite of sulking, a host has surmised we
Worth the poise of open minds that say, the caring
Special is ours, for a levity of serendipity?

Yours?
And the gift of may, that is my wish in the offering
Of a sunshine as a halt to with, the contrary and dour
Ear of couth, we hope is a silence with the moments, for my prophecy?

Sure..

Stand there...      wait
Don't stand there...    breathe.
No..        
Wait..
don't breathe...    just feel

Nah.   Yeah..
Ya-sure...  breathe&feel

Or wait...   no..
Just-remain-silent-and-say-nothing..


Ah,  there it is...    Yasss.    Good girl.