I've been told to take a breath
And to soak in my young-ness
Without a shadow of a doubt
I thought I couldn't wait to get out of this mess
But the years keep on moving
And I just keep circling
Around the dreams I used to have
Wondering what happened to the soul
I used to carry
But I guess growing older
Means there's some things you have to bury.

This flashing prompt
Is mocking me
The villain
In my dreams
Waking me from
A restless sleep
Making me wonder
What beauty lies ahead
Or if this day
Is just a nightmare to be had

Teasing me
Tempting me
Out of my writers block
So much so
That I have to
Write about it

The little black line
Is toying with me
Making me
Type
Edit
Delete
Like a cycle
Spinning my mind
Washing my pages
Until the words
Are nothing but memory

Or committed to memory
Depending on how many times
I’ve typed them
Trying to get past this idea
And turn it into
Something of substance
This flashing prompt
Has chained me to the screen

I scratch the idea
And start again

This vertical line
Is taunting me
Asking me what
I have Left to say
Reminding me that
I’ve said it all before
Just in a different way
Assuring me
That the world will tire
Of hearing my story
And I can only
Type so much
In a day
Week
Month
Year

This Caret
Has crushed me
Like a soldier waging war
Before I can even get a word in
Winning the battle
Unable to reach my weapon
Attempting to defend my thought process
Staring deeply I remember
That I am hopeless

This flashing prompt owns me
Keeping me up until
All hours of the night
Beating me to the punch
Whenever something feels right
Placing seeds of doubt in my mind
Making me aware
that the well
Has run dry

I should have let you go.
Real or not,
You're here or not,
It will always be the same.
I'm still lonely.
The fact that you are here changes nothing.

I write for you
Of you
Of this nearness to
A life
Our life
And what a perfectly stupid time we could have

it always seemed like you could never be mine
always too good for me
always someone better than me for you to love.
until you were mine...
the chase filled my eyes my heart my soul with adoration for you.
but when you finally wanted me to be yours, you wanted the whole world to know
which led me to wonder why you weren't content with just me.
always going to show off to the world what you have
show her off as your latest capture
your greatest possession.
temporarily, as nothing is ever here to stay.
and i present the first damper you put on our relationship.
a month is all we lasted.
i couldn't do it anymore
i lost my best friend pretending he could be my first lover.
or did i lose someone who loved me while i convinced myself he was just a friend.
closure will never be given as i dont know the answers to your questions.
but you dont even know how to ask the questions anymore.
but you still have the ability to snap me in two with a single decision.
and when you move on i can guarantee my heart will ache.
and theres nothing left for me to do
because i was the one to let you go.
and now ill never know what we could have been
because youre right, i gave up too easily.