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i’m gonna do it again. almost one month and 20 days clean!
Annie Jan 2020
Constantly staring at me
From my half open bedroom door

Intoxicating my brain
Says, it’ll stay, evermore

A ghost, it’s a lost soul
More weak, less scary

Watching me as I grow
All old and weary

My invariable company
Infiltrating my ‘lonely’

Says it won’t harm
Only here to watch me as I sleep

It holds me not to let go
Not to hurt, but to caress

When all the people leave
And I crave the bitter sweetness
K Balachandran Jan 2020
A honeybee stings hard.
It draws back its sword and speeds;
Did it harm itself?
Alice Jan 2020
"I mean I think I'm happy"

And that's how it began
"Like why shouldn't I be?
Things are fine right now
I have my health, my friends and family.
I work a job and have some plans,
the future isnt hopeless.
Tomorrow still shines bright for me,
this lifes my magnum opus."

Yet in her eyes another tale
was told as clear as day.
No matter her persuasion,
to convince herself another way.

"Times do get dark-" She further added
"But what's life without some pain?
Just a set of tasks with no direction,
no need to complain."

She hid away from feeling,
for to face her own dismay
was to kneel before her sitting God
and shout rather than pray:
"No, I'm really not alright-
And I dont always know why.
But the emptiness sustains
without the confidence to cry.
Was it you who did this?
One day will you stop it?
Or shall I try at a second life
Maybe soon I can commit."

But her God replied in silence,
or maybe in the flowing of the tide.
Perhaps in the movement of the wind,
or the calls of cyanide.

"Yeah I think I'm happy,
The past is in the past.
The present day is fine to me,
Though this will be my last."
I hope this makes sense to other people but it really struck a chord with me when I was writing it. Sometimes it's hard to get a message across like this, but I got something out of it at the very least!
Stay safe, look after yourself and those around you. Find your own definition of peace.
Angela Rose Jan 2020
when he used to talk down to me and make me feel invisible i would dig my nails so deep into my hands that I bled

I forgot I did this, I tried over and over to repress that

I thought about doing it again today

It's been 9 years.
Laiba Jan 2020
How much I have cried in the night
Nobody knows
I have cried in the loneliness
Forigve me
What kind of crime is this
Why should anyone share my pain
Or the thorns in my heart
When all this was written in my fate
Sad hurt
A lot
jonas Jan 2020
All I want is one day
Where my veins don't itch below the skin
Where I don't crave the bites

All I want is one day
Where I don't have to think about it
If only so I could clear the hair from my skin without temptation

All I want is one day
Where I don't have to fight with myself through every moment
To indulge in life's simple pleasures with an undistracted mind

All I want is one day
Where the spiders don't crawl beneath my skin
And I cease searching for scars that have since faded

All I want is one day
But I would take an hour-
Or even a minute...

Simply to be free of the spiderwebs that splay across my skin.
350 days clean today and I still crave it.
January, 2020
i’m one month clean.

soon to be ruined because it’s unhealthy and i’m all about slowing killing myself.  


brb. . .

going to throw up . . .
jokes. but not really
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