you pay the levies
you grant the deceits
you fall behind
you fall from grace
you freefall
you get what you deserve
you deserve what you get
you take your time
you partake
you mistake
you get the point
you get by
you yearn
you learn
you lone
you moan
you atone

you know the stakes
you do what it takes
it’s all you

My Inner Critic
I've misunderstood you far too long
I used to think you ginormous
But I see you're actually small.

You're not a beast I need to hide from
But a child I must protect
Your poisonous tongue was cursed to you
From years of abuse and neglect.

When you're scared, you can be scary
To get attention, you yell mean things
You bring something up over and over again
When you know that I'm not listening.

When I look, you're stuck and screaming
Like you felt and could never express
You see danger and no one will listen
I shut you down like all of the rest.

Sweet one, I'm sorry I ran from you
I misjudged your might and will
Now I've grown and understand better
No one ever taught you the skills.

Instead you learned to fear your big feelings
Because they made you bad and unloveable
But your feelings are valid and helpful to hold
You're on fire, but you're not combustible.

The rage that electrifies your skin
Makes sense and will not destroy you
We can redirect, run through it's end
Then, together, decide what to do.

You screamed that you wanted to die
But we dyed our hair instead
You wanted to take your own life
So we've taken it into our own hands.

Big feelings will always wash over us
I know sometimes that feels like too much
But now I'll listen and we can make choices
That won't harm either of us.

Water runs calmly
A garden within chaos
Grass still grow greener

butterflies flutter -
reach for the nectar of life;
winds change direction.

Twenty years, a lifetime in a breath,
Moments of joy, and trials that test.
A bond forged strong, yet time has shown,
Even the mightiest rivers carve new stones.

Love endured, though struggles grew,
As dreams were altered, plans askew.
Her strength once bright, now shadows cast,
A disability’s weight, a bond held fast.

Yet even love can feel the strain,
When one surrenders to endless pain.
Not by choice, but a path she’s known,
Leaving both to feel alone.

Then a spark ignited, a newfound fire,
A heart once dormant, now lifts higher.
Through your eyes, he sees the light,
A soul reborn, embracing life.

How can one not love a heart so dear,
Yet embrace the joy when new love's near?
Breaking free, not out of disdain,
But to dance in sunlight after the rain.

Steps may falter, but strength is alive,
Together you flourish, together you thrive.
Honoring the past, yet forging ahead,
Two souls united, where happiness spreads.

We met like two ships,
Bumping into each other,
Sailing side by side.
I patched your hull,
Bailed out your water,
Believing you’d steady your course.

But when the waters calmed,
You sailed off,
Only to return when storms stranded you,
Too wild to navigate alone.

I sounded the horn,
A signal of your drifting course.
You cut the ropes, severing ties.
Now, sailing alone,
I leave your wreckage behind.