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Aahoc Dec 2020
Don't you just love those talks?
We all know that of which I speak
The ones that weren't technically planned
Maybe one side had it in their mind how they wanted the evening to go
But the other had no idea
Maybe they both had the same plan in mind but neither ever said it out-loud
There just wound up being a mutual understanding
The next thing you know
You're lost in conversation
Walking, sitting, standing, laughing, empathizing
You begin to realize that somebody gets you on a whole new love - you relate to each other
You see your younger self there in front of you
You see, what you hope to be, your older self
Either way
It's a bit surreal
But nothing can truly compare
It's a unique and fleeting experience
Can't be duplicated, replicated, nor anticipated
But, it's also never forgotten
Don't you just love those talks?
Aahoc Dec 2020
If you could see me now

Would it make a difference?

I'm not sure.



There's no way to know


Even if you did,

Everything has changed.

Sure.. you'd see me,


It would be in a different light.

There were so many things that I wanted you to know.

I strove hard to prove it and show it because

Actions speak louder than words.

But, the opportunity never presented itself.

Then, one day, I broke down.

I said.

I said all of it.  


Almost all of it.

I stopped just shy.

(And, I still wonder what the outcome would've been if I didn't. That, however, is another question for another day and another time )

But, now...

Here I am...

Living out that 'dream'.

If only you knew!

That's the line that keeps running through my mind.

The musing that haunts the quiet moments.

Would it make a difference?

Would you begin to call me your own?

Would you say,

'I can't believe that I can call you mine', lov

If you could see me now?
  Nov 2020 Aahoc
your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you
if only i could chase you with pizza but shots don't work like that
Aahoc Nov 2020
Is the healing worth the pain? 
Is the peace worth the anger? 
Are the scars worth the wounds? 
Are the memories worth the void? 
I promise that I never meant to hurt you. 
That's one reality for which I was not prepared.
  Nov 2020 Aahoc
Ciel Noir
I don't feel creative


there is no starlight

in my soul

I can lie

or tell the truth

but I am saying nothing

Aahoc Nov 2020
I've seen what my heart can do.
There's no going back.
Everything pales in comparison to what I know.
I've seen what my heart can do.
Aahoc Nov 2020
Love from Others....................Love for Another
Choose a Side
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