Don't you just love those talks?
We all know that of which I speak
The ones that weren't technically planned
Maybe one side had it in their mind how they wanted the evening to go
But the other had no idea
Or...
Maybe they both had the same plan in mind but neither ever said it out-loud
There just wound up being a mutual understanding
Then...
The next thing you know
You're lost in conversation
Walking, sitting, standing, laughing, empathizing
You begin to realize that somebody gets you on a whole new love - you relate to each other
You see your younger self there in front of you
Or...
You see, what you hope to be, your older self
Either way
It's a bit surreal
But nothing can truly compare
It's a unique and fleeting experience
Can't be duplicated, replicated, nor anticipated
But, it's also never forgotten
Don't you just love those talks?

If you could see me now

Would it make a difference?

I'm not sure.

And

Honestly,

There's no way to know

Because

Even if you did,

Everything has changed.

Sure.. you'd see me,

But...

It would be in a different light.

There were so many things that I wanted you to know.

I strove hard to prove it and show it because

Actions speak louder than words.

But, the opportunity never presented itself.

Then, one day, I broke down.

I said.

I said all of it.  

Well..

Almost all of it.

I stopped just shy.

(And, I still wonder what the outcome would've been if I didn't. That, however, is another question for another day and another time )

But, now...

Here I am...

Living out that 'dream'.

If only you knew!

That's the line that keeps running through my mind.

The musing that haunts the quiet moments.

Would it make a difference?

Would you begin to call me your own?

Would you say,

'I can't believe that I can call you mine', lov

If you could see me now?

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you