What hides on the verge of the madness
And why does it luring me in
Faster and faster
Head spinning and spinning
I stand at the edge of the darkness
And staring at it with a grin

How close, for how long can I linger
Caressing it gently with finger tips
Forbidden, forbidden
The conscience is screaming
The darkness grows bigger
And inside me creeps

this is what i love about you
this is what makes me grin
this is what gets my heart beating
this is why i let you in.

your sense of humor is magical,
i can be myself around you.
our love is never tragic and
i can always try something new.

your smile can light up the whole town
your laugh can turn a head
you lift me up when i am down
you get me out of bed.

i trust you with my everything
i know you won’t talk trash
we don’t even need a promise ring
i know that we’ll surely last.

the hugs and kisses feel so right
the cuddles feel so safe
and when you hold my hand real tight
you give me so much faith.

just know that you’re my baby boy
and i’m your baby girl
you always give me so much joy
you make my heart wanna twirl.

i love you more than anything
and that will always be
i’m your queen and you’re my king,
and that’s why i love you, you see.

Mmmm. You taste like honey.
Well, I sort of put some on earlier.
Really?
Yes, really.
Her grin wasn't innocent-
Time for me to have some honey.

Deliriously happy.
"You look like you won something;
Some sort of prize."

I did.

I won the only prize I've ever given a **** about:

A place in your life.

I prefer the shadows these days. Brightness and "clarity" only blinds the flickle.
This darkness becomes me. For I know what it feels like to be fire, to be the element.
I was so tired of wearing that jaggedely twisted unclean smile.
These traitorous painted lips smiled at any excuse, sometimes never refusing to stop.
Only a Jester's sinister grin came close to being just as terrifying.
My new and improved stormy demeanor came with a charming and intimidating scowl.
Mornings were finally productive because i no longer found my reflection mocking me with it's constant unwilling, gentle leer.
Finally, it was your turn to smile like the menace.
My inner monster was thrilled in the shadows, no doubt already thinking up, cruel ways to make it happen.

(Love letter 3)


Letters are piling up, my dearest,
See, here's another one..

Today is not a busy day, the hours are slow
I'm giving my thoughts a go
Whether the sun smiles brightly
Or when overcast clouds would speak, "gloomy,"
I shall breathe deeply... enjoy my hours free...
Let my eyes and mind wander---
Here, there,
Places upon places
Faces upon faces
The present times and the old
Events that tomorrow may hold...

This...now...is my holiday moment,
I think of ripples, puddles and currents,
Cool breeze...and blue waves,
With them, I suddenly am brave
Thinking of past journeys, on beaten, as well as paved,roads
I am confident...Somebody watches me, through every stream I ford...

My holidays are moments
A blend of joy and torments,
I alone, hold my chin
When a smile becomes a grin
That turns to a soft sounding laugh
Because, the air I breathe becomes perfumed with hope,
And tap water tastes like some sweet tasting stuff.

In my heart, there is no room for wrath
Even when anxiety is the tar that stains my path
When I am black as coal, from despair...and I go down
Lower...surrendering to the ground
...without giving a sound
When the aching,
...the hurting,
Becomes too much
To bear for my stomach
When it takes a big effort, my breath, I catch,
To straighten...from a body so crouched.

Behind every smile, there hide my fears
But there is always the sun, the wind, to help dry my tears

I may be alone....or with friends,
Having drinks in the garden,
Or simply enjoying the starlit Heaven
They're bits and pieces of hours so precious
Coming through summer breezes
When leaves fall, like fading kisses
When feeling the rain touch my skin,
When times are tough, or smooth sailin'
When I shiver from the cold
Filled with the blue, and I can't be that bold
But....I am never alone, or without you
For, you are my air,  my every sigh
.....I think of you
With every breath I take....

Now, I must ask...
Do you have holiday moments, too?
Am I your holiday moment?
(December 14, 2014)

Me---
Sally

Copyright December 2014
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan