I layed myself out bare,
bracing for the sting of another open wound.
You only came with tools to mend,
a needle and thread.
With gentle hands,
you stiched together every hole in my heart with love.

I want you to say my name.
I want it to spill past your lips while I run my fingers along the bend of your jaw.
I want you to grab my waist and pull me into you like the world might  take me away at any moment.
I want to feel you gasp as I slide my fingers from the nape of your neck into your soft hair.
I want to make you desperate for me in so many ways aside from physical.
I want to be the reason you shudder, sigh and surrender.
Let me be the one, let me be the thought in your head that keeps you up at night.
I want you to be the reason I am needed.

I lay next to you in a field of lilacs and lavenders.
The beautiful floral scent fills my senses
I am surrounded by all that is purple.
I watch as the brilliant blue sky is filled with gorgeous violet hues.
I listen to the birds as they soothe my anxious mind.
I put my hand into yours.
Our hands intertwine.
My left hand held by your right.
The strands of purple in my hair cascade around my face,
I am surrounded by purple.
A crown of purple flowers rests on my forehead.
I am surrounded by all that is purple.

A light so soft and tender
Noir has been expelled
Gravel but somehow gentle
Even the stars aren’t this bright  
Lavishly delight

Everyday,
multiple times
you remind me of my beauty
because I can no longer
do this for myself.
You tell me that one day
I will believe these words.
They will eventually sink
into my DNA.
You tell me the words will
one day feel real and until they do
you will continue on.
You do not make me
feel ashamed that these words
are foreign to my diseased brain.
While you call me breathtaking
I tell myself I am not deserving of breath.
Your words restore me.
They keep me alive
until the next dosage of
your selfless reminders.

It only takes three simple words
for my very being to melt in your arms
and my soul to take flight high above us.
I am not talking about the cliche here.
We are so much better than a cliche.
I am talking about a phrase
so much more gentle,
so much more inviting,
so much more meaningful,
so much more personal,
so much more tender,
so much more caring.
"Babe, come here"

Sweetness is —
the sugar cube that glitters
when sun ray kisses the crystalline surface
like a thousand sparkling dots;

It is the strawberries I savor
when you sat across me
smiling softly
and gave me the last one from your basket.

It is the bubbly feeling
when I gazed at you,
playing with our children —
sparks in your eyes,
a laugh leaping out of your throat.

It is the warm sensation
flooding my chest, and
filling every corner of my being,
whenever you tucked me into your arms,
and kissed away my tears,
telling me I am
the best thing that has ever happened to you.

laying in bed waiting, just waiting for 5:55
dawn has arrived
5:55 AM is a reminder that a fresh new day is here
arrived with a gentle call to stretch and welcome its newness
listen to the sound of coffee grinding and brewing into your cup
gaze at the morning stars that have been above for eons
smell the chilled dawn air as you just breath
take a moment, throw your arms up and out into a large welcoming stretch
and then
noise from morning traffic on Center Street shakes your mood
you're awake....

Brian Hill - 2020 # 290