~
1. try on everything in your closet and determine that you look awful no matter what you wear
2. play rachmaninovs elégie op. 3 no. 1 with the synthesizer tuned to sound like a robot so the fact that it's for dead people feels less heavy
3. turn literally everything into art - including yourself and all reachable surfaces - paint, write poetry, make music, dance and be free
4. drink more water in one sitting than you have consumed in your entire life
5. put a box fan at the end of your bed, therefor inflating your blankets and effectively making a sick blanket air cave
6. reflect on every terrible thing you have done and all of the people you've lost
7. spiral into a deep depression and wonder why you're even alive when the only things you have to live for are universes away
8. remember that life itself is pointless and that nothing means anything until you force it to
9. pet your cat because shes a beautiful girl and she deserves all of the love in the world and more
10. absolutely, no matter what, never ever go to sleep.
~
its only when im dreaming that i remember what it's like to feel loved
