It was one of those days, when you just sit there staring at the object in front of you.
While your mind is wandering: “What did I do to deserve to feel this way” you say to yourself.
How can everything go great and in one second it all falls apart.
Life has taught me so many things, life has taught me to never raise my hope, it was the only way to avoid getting hurt.
I was so good on my own I had everything figured out, thats what I at least thought.
Then you appeared out of the blue.
An angelic face is what I saw.
I worked so hard to build that wall, I had my self shut away.
Then you came with your sledgehammer and demolished my wall.
I desired you like you were the last man on earth.
I wanted you so bad that walking over sharp bricks didn’t bother a bit.
I was there facing you, holding your hand at last ... I never felt so alive.
Only then I did the biggest mistake of my life “I raised my hope again” cause with you I felt like I wanna face my fears.
“All good at last” is what I said while I was drowning in your features and having glimpses of our future.
I thought all is well, till you pushed me and started building your own wall.
I wrecked that wall, I walked over the sharp bricks again my legs started bleeding but I didn’t care, but you built it again and I wrecked it over & over again until my legs couldn’t function anymore.
I fell on my knees begged you to take those steps for me.
But the last image I have of you is your back getting further and further away.

“I took million of steps for you but you couldn’t take one step for me”

Now am here staring at this object and getting ready to build that wall again
I wish I didn’t have to.

I got zillion tracks to the light
But i chose the one that lights bright
I crawl first and then i stand
Unaware of the snags ahead
I begin to walk through the lane

I grant you to gently peek
Careful, for there demons creep
I wish you not to blindly seek
For I've gotten them to peacefully sleep

You may think you can handle
My mistake to reflect
For you'll never again be stable
Your qualities will deflect

I've been falsely honest
Inside lies Diablo himself
You have not yet earnest
your way to the shelf

Her hands perfectly followed my seams
and ripped it apart with my screams

The only thing that scares me most is the sunrise.
The moment I see daylight spreading over houses and trees, all my fears become alive.
The fear of people seeing the pain of lost love in my eyes.
The fear that someday my smile will no longer be able to hide the anguish of broken heart.
The fear of breaking down in front of a crowd.
The fear of loving and getting attached.
The fear of unrequited love scares me.
The darkness of night hides all my fears in my eyes that nobody can see.

#15

all we did was argue
but still I ******* loved you
we couldn't speak - we screamed
you yelled then I yelled too

we threw dishes instead of saying sorry
but it was always the same story

you were raised rich and passive
i was raised middle class and aggressive

our views will never be the same
but still neither one of us is willing to end this game

                          you hang up the phone with an i love you
                           and as stubborn as i am i know i do too