Hearts break so fast
Like shatter-proof glass
With no pieces left
To salvage
And put back together.

There's a dead friend in my closet that no one ever liked.
I know they are still there.
but, I ignore it until someone brings them up again.
I evade the question, as if I did not **** them.
As if their bones did not crumble when I touched them.
As if I did not take their soul when I told them.
Guilt falls over me.
I lay awake at 2 a.m.
Sometimes I check to see if they may come back to life,
they are always the same as I left them.
Dead and unchanging,
and everyone praises the day the corpse died.
But, I cannot understand how to feel happy,
without a person in my life

Yet another dream of you,
yet another day that we are breathing the same air,
only difference is my lungs are warm and your heart is cold.
                                        
                       ­                      Wake up *****,
                                                                I tell myself.

Who have I become recently?
A person who subjectively
Falls apart,
Or has objectivity
Become a lost art?
I am unable
To make moves
And to get better
On my own.
And people know this.
So I have faked this
False happiness
Long enough.
Let’s going back to crying
And suicide
And wanting to die
Because it seems like
That’s what I’m good at most anyways.

Love is the pit
I find myself in
Too many times
To be forgotten by another
Who probably didn't deserve me
Or maybe I didn't deserve them:
Friends
Lovers
Family
I don't.

Love is like a pit,
And I slipped from the edge.
And when I fall,
I fall hard.

I wont turn you down even when you have let me down multiple times and continue to,

and that's the only thing we both can count on.

Snowflakes scraped underneath fingernail tips
When the charcoal was pressed harder.
As often as the cheetah runs with the crocodiles by the nile
They do not look for each other.

As often as the bees sing
Only once could they muster poison and sting
With a clockwork, shelter and carpentry of honey.
The fruitness of a living body.

The sound that gets lost in the woods
Gets lost and carried
Flying through the whispers between the branches and twigs.
All the creatures are all but lost
Yet the striking fur
Shocks
Hunters into firing hot shells across
and the falcon fell.

A shouting cull
The silence that meant that wildly blooms have been collected.
A bouquet was calling the passing hours
Wrapped in the scraped white spirit of the wooden towers.

You know... sometimes I just want to be understood. But most of the time I'm ignored and misunderstood. I just want people to read me like an open book, maybe its because I'm prideful, but I end up keeping it all to myself. I'm so doubtful of the people around me, I call you friend but I question if its OK to open up to you.. friend. Too many shattered friendships, broken trust and broken hearts. A life where relationships are turmoil, when things are falling apart, I know other things are falling into place. Sometimes you just need space to figure things out you know? But stay too long and it can be self destructive, emotionally and physically. People say I shouldn't worry about the past, but that's where I learnt the most valuable lessons and sadly, a lot of people take that for granted. Blood stained history built what has become our destiny now. Good or bad, I'm just glad to look back and appreciate what I know now. If someone opens up to you, just know that you have earned their respect. Appreciate every aspect of it, because once you lose it, it could be gone forever.

I kiss the tip of your nose while my leg is thrown over your weary bones. Smiling, knowing that Im the one who gets to see this part of you, falling asleep mumbling your lullaby locutions with I love yous twirled around your tongue.

I am drenched
Soaked to the bone
Even though I am inside
And my clothes are dry
I can still feel the cold

Seeping into me
Weighing me down
I push and push
But I am pulled back

This watery illness
A beautiful friend
Turned abusive and frigid
I loved you

I would watch you
Change the world around you
You are dark and cloudy
You smell of home

Why do you hurt me now?
When I have praised you
And loved you
Given you so many words

I wish you cared
And gave me comfort
Like you always have
Instead you chill me to my bones

I miss you
And when you're gone
I'll miss you
But for now
I will watch you from afar
Waiting for you to come back to me