Do you actually want me?
Or just like the thought of me?

Please let me know
If you want me to stay

I want to stay
But only if you want me to

I like to sing.
Does that make me a siren?
I’ll lure you in, but if you don’t respond, I’ll quiet down my siren song.
I’ll swim away and won’t try again until you’re in need of a friend.
Just ask me and I’ll sing to you in hopes of making us forever,
But most times they just sail away and I’m left swimming here whichever.
I like to sing, and you can too,
But a sailor makes a siren through.
Again I’ll sing my siren song and I will sing them all to you.

The truth is that it hurts
Everytime I want to reach out but can't
Everytime I reach out and you're not available
Everytime I want your attention but you are busy
Everytime you say you will call and you never do
Maybe it's time
To wake up and smell the coffee
That maybe I'm becoming too attached
Or perhaps too needy
I've probably created expectations
Yet I told myself I wouldn't
Maybe I'm losing my friend
Maybe you are losing my friendship
Yet I said I'd never leave
Or maybe my mind is too idle
I don't want to lose you, my friend
Neither do I want you to lose my friendship
But this is indeed
The truth

The other day I looked at some photos,
Memories played before me as if they were live.
How funny the way time moves and the way life goes,
What feels like a day was really 365.

So much can change in a year.
What you want, who you love, what you fear,
365 days can either give or take away all you hold dear.

For me, a year has brought me plenty,
New hair, new friends, another year in my 20s.

But what a year hasn't changed,
Is the way that I feel.
Between you and I, no words have been exchanged,
A year has done nothing, no wounds have been able to heal.

Some nights I'll look again at those photos and still shed a tear.
In time things will get better, check back again this time next year.

Last night we walked through our old suburb together
You stopped outside your old house and peeked through the hedges,
Stared silently into the nostalgia where someone else lives now.
It’s the second time we’ve done this in less than a week.

We went to the park and lay on the cold basketball court looking at the distant stars.
It felt like being nineteen again,
When we could drift away together without fighting or crying:
A sameness in our strangeness.

I was wearing her underwear with the pink flamingos on it.
She would smile if she knew.

What did you mean
When you said you wanted to get to know me
Were you interested in my faults?
Or did you just go for the virtues
Did you want to know the vices?
Or the accomplishments were just enough

What did you mean
When you said you liked me
Did you like my scars?
Or you were just attracted to the niceness outside
Did you like my brokenness
Or you just wanted me when I was put together

What did you mean
When you said you understood me
Did you know what I was really made of
Or you just took the facade I put on for show
Could you really feel the pain, or the joy?

What did you mean
When you said you knew me
Did you know my vulnerabilities
Or you just knew my fake confidence
Maybe you knew my weaknesses
But what did you do about them
Did you know when I was really sad
Or happy, or angry
And was trying to hide it from the world?
Did you know what I really needed
To make me feel better?
Did you know how I wanted to enjoy my moments?
Did you even know what those moments were?
Did you know when I was truly myself
Or when I was really trying hard to control myself
And when all these feelings came easy?
Can you describe where I'd be
If I'd disappeared?
Can you really give a true testimony of me?

you wrote me
into your past
it is there
i will stay

I like to dream in puzzles,
And finish them on the bus.
With my head against the window,
Thinking of dreamt up love.
I like to dance to music,
but only in my head.
Sometimes I’ll talk to people,
but I always take back what I said.
I like to tell stories, only to myself.
I like to be with people,
but talking isn’t my thing.
I hate it when I’m lonely,
but I’m better when It’s just me.