spawning promises
deep in the pond with goldfish
the final breakdown

Dear you..

It's been a while
Since we last talked
How have you been?
I hope you're doing okay

Me?

I guess I still miss you
Missing how I wake up seeing you
Smiling at me each morning
Wanting to stay in bed the entire day

Dear you..

Do you remember how
We enjoy making breakfast everyday?
How dreadful it feels to leave in the morning
only to hurry back and eat dinner together

I do

I still remember our weekend dates
Whether going out, or staying home
Remember the first roses I gave you?
And my promise to give you some every week?

Remember, Dear?

I still remember how you caressed my hair
and how you kissed me every time I messed up
I also remember how we used to cuddle
When we stayed home on the weekends

Do you still remember?

How warm it feels when you hug me
At times when it feels cold in bed at night
and how we ate on the same bowl or plate
Whenever we lazily eat our meals on the bed

Those were the days

When I felt happiest the most
When I felt like I'm truly alive
Sharing that simple, fun life with you
Brought contentment to my heart.

Did you feel the same way?

You smiled whenever you looked at me
You kissed back even when I nervously messed up
You had that effect on me back then
I thought I also had the same effect on you

But I guess not..

When that blissful life took a bad turn
We turned for the worst downfall as well
You kept looking for someone else in me
Someone's love that's completely different from mine

And then it crumbled..

The life we shared and held on dearly
The way we shouted and fought every night
and how we slept on the opposite sides of the bed
I guess you really didn't feel the same

Who was he?

The one you still held on to
Even though I was the one beside you
The person who kept you from being mine
Whose memories outweighed the love I gave?

Then the end came..

It came by so fast I never caught a glimpse
I was still willing to fix it yet you alone brought it down
You walked out that door and left me for good
You took my heart with you as you went to him

It still hurts..

I am still stuck with loving you
Even if my mind says otherwise
Your ghost still haunts my life
I don't know what else to do

So please..

Stop running to me when you need comfort from him
Stop calling me every time you cry on lonely nights
Stop stirring this weak heart of mine
And please don't consider me yours anymore

So..

I'm saying a final goodbye
I hope you'll be happy in this life
In time I'll move on, I'll be free
Even if in my heart, you'll always be dear to me

Him:
This is the last chance I can manage
The last chance I could pour it all out
The bottled up feelings I held for so long
The strong feelings I always had for you

I've been in love with you all this time
From the first time I laid my eyes on you
But because of the silly fears I had back then
I lost and wasted chances to make you mine

Years passed by like mere days
But these feelings were never diminished
They even grew stronger by the day
And they kept me up and awake each night

I hid behind my cowardly fears
Thinking that if I stayed the same
Maybe one day, you'll see through me
But instead of that awaited day, he came

Tomorrow you'll walk down the aisle
In the most beautiful version you could be
Walking towards the future of your life
With me only watching by the sidelines

Tomorrow you'll finally be his wife
While I hold my peace forever
But tonight I'll be coming clean
So only for tonight, please listen to me

All this time, I loved you
Even at this very moment
I love you still so much
It kills me inside that you won't be mine

Your happiness is what I always had in mind
Even if that happiness doesn't come from me
I wish you all the best in your future married life
I hope he fulfills what I always wanted to do

I'll be fine on my own
I'll get over you someday
Though it may be hard
And may take me a long time


Her:
You never were the one for me
You didn't even mean that much to me
Back then you we're just a boy
And I still see you as a boy right now

A boy who took things for granted
Thinking that everything will turn out okay
Even when its obvious that he'll lose dearly
Because of hiding behind his baseless fears

But even then you were a boy
The boy who always stayed by my side
Of course I was bound to fall in love along the way
To the one whom my world revolves around

Stupid, dumb, foolish boy
You were always a pain in my heart
But you were there, right at the center
So insensitive of you not to notice

I had always been in love with you
Always waiting for the day you take heart
and courageously tell me what I always saw
That you also loved and cherished me too

But that day never came
Instead, he walked in my life
right when I was loosing all hope for you
becoming my fall back and my comfort zone

Still, I always had my eye on you
The first man I ever fell in love with
I guess first love really doesn't die
because even when I was with him, you stayed on my mind

When he asked my hand in marriage
I thought it was finally an escape from you
An unrequited love I always cherished
and finally be free from every memory of you

But now you come here facing me
Professing the love I always yearned for
Making me think of running away with you
and to finally be with the one I loved most

But instead, I'll give you just tonight
I'll make you regret every wasted time
I'll be yours for the last time
I'll give in to your love only for tonight


Both:
Let's take each other's hand
Be locked in each other's embrace
Slow dancing in a borrowed time
Staring longingly for the last time

Let our movements synchronize
with the music of our heartbeats
and the pacing of our breaths
as we dance our first and last dance


Him:
Let me touch your face for the first and last time
Let me kiss you passionately before the sunrise
Let me be yours in the darkness of the night
Let me make love to you under the moon and starlight


Her:
I'll let you take me for the first and last rush
I'll let you kiss me from midnight 'til sunrise
I'll make you mine only in the darkness of tonight
I'll make love with you bathed in moon and starlight


Both:
Slow the flow of time tonight
Please let us stay in this moment
Suspend us in a perpetual night
Let us stay here in each other's arms

We know forever is out of our reach
And that this love ends when sunlight comes
So please, let us stay this way for a while
Dear God, let us dance forever in this suspended time

Let the last of our kisses stay frozen forever
Don't let this reality be a bittersweet memory
Please let us cherish each and every second
Please let us savor each tender moment

By the end of this night,
I will have left you behind
And you will have left me;
And what we swore to uphold til death do us part
Will be a thing of the past.
Is that why I feel like I’m going to be half-dead in the morning?

So I was hoping, just really hoping deep down
That we could have one last dance.
Just the two of us,
Just like old times
With my arms wrapped around you
With your heart beating for me.
I miss it already
**** not as much as I will in the days to come
When I have the devil curled up in my mind,
Whispering in my ear
The way you used to get jealous when other people did.
So I was hoping, just really hoping deep down
That we could have one last dance.

I understand if you’re ashamed
So we can turn out the lights
And never turn them on again.
We can keep his between us,
Just one final secret we keep for one another.
You don’t have to hold me close to your heart like you used to
But could you please at least try to pretend
That you remember loving me like I was made for you?
Because I was hoping for one last dance.
Before we go our separate ways and never speak of this again,
I’d like one last dance.
I won’t ask for a proper goodbye, nor will I give one.
But how about one last dance?