i almost want to laugh at how much i wanted you
sleepless nights. countless.
wondering if I was even a thought on your mind.
if ever the possibility of us fluttered with one beat.
544 days
even if it was for a split second, in a prayer or a curse
you were there. marring everything that i'd built

*
it's funny. He always gives us what we need.
all i needed was something to sully this fabricated sustenance that i wanted so badly to believe in
&
here it is.

I long for the unknown
but like a bird trapped in a cage
I'm too afraid to do anything about it.
My mind is merely a dream
A lullaby of uncertainty and doubt
covered up with a fake smile I've painted on,
the perfect disguise.

No one knows of my fleeting thoughts
My unattainable daydreams
the secret fantasies
I keep those hidden just for me.

I'm not the person they think I am
the light is dimmer and darker than it appears
It may surprise you if you ever saw it
but you won't.

Like a magician a dreamer doesn't give up their secrets
tucked away in the corners of my thoughts
only reappearing when I allow myself to wander
away from my ordinary life
a place I can indulge in my desires,
my daydream.

Caged marionette, dance for me
Your glass chains hold no reins
It's time to break free.
The Light only shows you known lanes,
I will lead you down greater plains.

Your gaze is uncertain,
You falter ever so slightly.
Fear not, lost kitten,
I am yours for eternity.

Young Antoinette, come to me
A train of sorrow ー your best dress
So throw away that leaden pedigree.
The old masters may try to oppress,
Noble heartache you must suppress.

You take one last look
As I wait for thee,
At the safe sullen rook,
A prison it will no longer be.

Naive brunette, sway with me
For the heart and soul you sold,
Was it not I who answered your plea?
Tonight, we shall step past a new threshold,
Its whereabouts ー to God and enlightened beings, untold.

In darkness and damnation,
You remain smitten with me.
With no fear or salvation,
We waltz through tragedies.

Don’t you just want to hold him close to you? Or is it only me?
Look at those eyes, as bright as a polished diamond brightening the finger of an awaiting bride.  
You can’t look at them twice.
Holy God! when I thought there was no perfection.  
Well mark these words, “he is perfect”.
If looks could be a symbol of heroism,
gift him the warrior’s lantern for he descends as a hero.

The beautiful smile drawing your lips into a curvy appreciating grin.  
A man in a goddess ensemble.
My eyes are heavenly blessed to behold such a testament.
Oh! That amazing voice, let he sing me amazing grace and I will amazingly be graceful.
Beautiful perfect lips moving from side to side whilst he speaks.  
The voice, violently drawing you down your knees.

Oh, sweet heavens, why curses with a saint of looks?
There exist no ounces of perfection enough to deserve his glorious presence.
And a gentleman too, goddess of my ancestors, what great temptation.  

Permit me to do nothing but sit to watch him speak.  
Perfection, the being brought to tempt my honour.
Daydreaming the movements and triggers tingling inside my untamed structure.
Reminiscing on what could, would and want with no sense of shame nor control.
My eyes dazzling without shame nor guilt.
Mesmerised and tempted to act in accordance to this electric pull.

Oh my God!!!, My alarm goes off, please tell me it’s not a dream.

Queen and king of the winter kingdom revived their very first child; the child fell from the sky;
it vanished on a warm cheek, though the little child was not alone—if had plenty of siblings.
Snowflakes of the queen and king rained from the sky, covering the northern isle;
as they fell they aged; they danced; they screamed of joy.

Winter has come to greet the world, in a white dress; in a breeze of cold; in darkness;
also, it welcomes the world through the little white lights falling.
The children of the queen and king greet all the species below, with tiny little hugs and kisses;
short in their life, but wonderous to the world as they fall.

Be greeted children of ice; of nothing warm; of winter long, we salute you back.
As your siblings will fall, remember you are beautiful, not always fondly remembered but beautiful.

Winter is coming
with glimmers of snow
this at least I know
because of sky growls

Winter is coming
I watch fowls
wrapped in their feather cowls
head for warm relief

Winter is coming
gasps the last leaf
unfurled from its mortal sheaf
when Night King’s sword swings down

Winter is coming
tremble, under Ice Maiden’s frown
when the sight of her gown
dismays rather than awes

Winter is coming
with its silent claws
so much pain it will cause
its enemies will know defeat

Winter is coming
there is no soul so fleet
as to successfully retreat
from Winter’s adroit wrath

Winter arrives at Winterfell
taking a hail and sleet bath
contented growls cause pause
spikes rained down
cover advance of a thief
whose nefarious shadow’s prow
stifles light so darkness may grow.
~
NM
4/11/18

I float out of mind, or the visages of time
Born from the gusts of a star’s mighty stillness
I fly to a sphere of lovers and mimes
Still, no one can bear to notice my dress

Dear- she is silent, yet stands so close
The eyes pierce my body, smiling fro
The human gaze is one of repose
Is there something the cosmos did not show?

I'm an actor! The Guile! Kaleidoscopic motion!
In the midst of monotony, the lumbering locomotives
I laugh on stained tiles, I'm a star of devotion!
Know me, fools! My essence is votive!

O vile and veiled stage, which I perform under!
Is my passion redundant, and my words so tasteless?
This is my dream, that fate struck asunder
I can't feed myself at my worst or my best

I think I will go back to star Sirius' caress.

Years- the passing of time
Insurmountable to my looping eye
Not so much as a dent in their grime
The vice of the purpose, unhinged by a sigh

What can one choose to bear
When ******* the clasp of cosmic hands
When all one sees are fleeting stares
And their last teacher is time’s command

Not a single ear hears
Not a single voice cheers
No hands, free to jeer
For I am not here

The joke is as old as the star that birthed me
As careless as a rampant sea