My worn out eyes
stare through the crowd
no joy to be found

My worn out eyes
cry tears at night
nothing but pain around

My worn out eyes
are tired and dead
how they still stay up  
is a mystery unresolved

My worn out eyes
are just worn out eyes
nothing more
nothing less
just worn out.

Miss.
Us, you, my sanity.
Life, thoughts, reality.

My mind can create so many things
that I maybe shouldn't
but do

Miss
Your banter, her smiles, my laughter.
**Our talking, their acceptance, the love.

Where has the fire gone?
Extinguished by exhalations of exhaustion.
Cut down like grass on a lawn
Is a once lush poet-tree of creativity.

Did I heed the signs of caution?

Drowned by disappointment and shame,
I emerged alive, I survived,
But my hopes could not say the same.
They settled with the sediment,

Oh, how I miss when they thrived!

When did it occur,
The moment my heart was drained?
And who was the one to procure
The passion with which I was fashioned?

From stained glass to broken glass, stained.

The inventive ambition has waned,
The glowing spectrum has faded.
I pray all will be reattained.
For I am overworn and forlorn;

Once sculpting precious gems, now just simply jaded.

Sometimes, I just want a break.
There’s only so much I can take.
Sometimes I just want to breathe
Yell out the pain that lies beneath
Scream to the liars the truth
Find my own medicine that soothes
The anguish that makes me cry
The things I’m too tired to deny,
Knots I want to unravel
In idyllic bliss of travel.
I’m tired of too much work
It’s driving me crazy, berserk
That I repeat some old rhymes
For me, I can’t find any time
There is happiness I seek
A smidgen of courage to speak
Confidently to a crowd
Using talents on me bestowed.
I want to sleep for long days
Without messes in life to face
I don’t want a surgery
To extract foreign cyst in me
I want a good vacation
A month, a year of elation
I want to be who I’m not
Nimbly practise what I’ve been taught.
I am a rudderless ship
Someone, tell me to get a grip!
Is there anyone out there?
Not one who understands or cares?
I keep looking for someone
Lord knows, around me, I’ve a ton
Many I can lean upon
Who’d mourn for me when I am gone
I wonder on that, you know
If anyone would miss me so
If I’ve helped anyone live
If there’s someone I must forgive
I didn’t want to write sad poems
Yet, this is, a perverse proem
The last one searching for glee
Written by me in misery.
Why, why must it be so hard?
Why does life have to hand me shards?
God, lead me somewhere in peace
I can’t bear this anymore, please!
I’m exhausted with myself
With the world, with my selfish self.
(I know, I know what to do
You don’t have to give me a clue)
Give me moments to wallow
On thoughts that you don’t have to know
I’m anxious, not crazy or mad.
I’ll get up soon, don’t be sad.
But there are the times I think
Staring at space, drowning in drinks-
“Sometimes, I want to run away
Each time, I don’t know why I stay.”