An umbilical cord
Grown from my backbone
To assure a structure, a stronghold
In humanity's songs

Holds me from eternal darkness
To halt me from expanding nothingness
Yet to sight the stars' brightness
Their uniqueness

It holds me from behind
Makes sure I don't fall in line
The darkness amongst light
The foul upon the stars

The empathy of an everlasting night
To keep me from an unimaginable fright
Away from gaze of awful heights
Never ending falls, suspensionary freights

A body full of thoughts
Hollow mind cuts out draughts
Only if time could be stopped
I'll build an horloge in my head's clock

Steer me to a fantasy
Hold me for an eternity
Back down for a better me
I try to keep my sanity

For him
Me
The better me
The almost me

That could do better than I could think
Better than I would think
That would act at the thoughts to blink
Probably I shouldn't blink

Rehearse my fidelity
Work on my infidelity
A plane to eternity
For an end to a better me

An umbilical cord
That strucks my bones
Hard as a stone
I think it's trying to make me whole

Or to erase me
To think like everything
So I could become a sibling
To this cloned society

To accept the poverty
To fall for the beverages
To hold accountable the rich and the wealthy
For all problems that comes to think

My head is its own place
Not an ordinary place
A fantasy type of heaven place
Where only I belong place

The umbilical cord can't reach
My thoughts, mind, how I think
But it reacts Every time I blink
That I may act like everyone I see

Together for a year, I thought I’d make my move,
But our first fight shook the groove.
You said, "It’s fine if we don’t talk anymore,
I’m fine without you," repeating it more.

This aggression, it stings, it stays,
Are you fine—or just fading away?

The heavenly stars are on fire
I’m told.
You have to take some things on faith.

But where’s the smoke?
.
.
Songs for this:
Man in finance (G6 Trust Fund) by ******* a couch, Billen Ted
Bored by Laufey

After the defeat,

his doubts buzz around him like --


a mosquito cloud.

The questions, the doubts,

the suspicion, that monster --


with too many heads.

I find myself hiding
under my bed sheets,
every corner of my room haunts me.
The alcohol on my breath worries my mother.
The aroma of your cologne
remains impregnated on the sweater
I wore the last time I saw you .
I hate you even though I miss you through my teeth
and even though this feeling consumes me,
I regret you all the time.
Leaving tore me apart, but realizing you’d already abandoned us stinged even more. No matter how tiring my days were, I would always seek out that street corner, where your words first wrapped me with love. But now, the sight of it from across the street is a wound that refuses to heal.
I expressed out the fear that loving you caused me, due the damage I had already lived through and even so you continued to do me the same damage
I drown seeking answers for the endless doubts that you left me.
I lose myself in a glass of wine, chasing the ghost of our first kiss.
Did you ever thought of me? Or did your narcissism get the better of you once again?