The heavenly stars are on fire
I’m told.
You have to take some things on faith.

But where’s the smoke?
.
.
Songs for this:
Man in finance (G6 Trust Fund) by ******* a couch, Billen Ted
Bored by Laufey

After the defeat,

his doubts buzz around him like --


a mosquito cloud.

The questions, the doubts,

the suspicion, that monster --


with too many heads.

I find myself hiding
under my bed sheets,
every corner of my room haunts me.
The alcohol on my breath worries my mother.
The aroma of your cologne
remains impregnated on the sweater
I wore the last time I saw you .
I hate you even though I miss you through my teeth
and even though this feeling consumes me,
I regret you all the time.
Leaving tore me apart, but realizing you’d already abandoned us stinged even more. No matter how tiring my days were, I would always seek out that street corner, where your words first wrapped me with love. But now, the sight of it from across the street is a wound that refuses to heal.
I expressed out the fear that loving you caused me, due the damage I had already lived through and even so you continued to do me the same damage
I drown seeking answers for the endless doubts that you left me.
I lose myself in a glass of wine, chasing the ghost of our first kiss.
Did you ever thought of me? Or did your narcissism get the better of you once again?

With an overcast sky, summer warns us
the moon stops by for a brief conversation
before taking its leave, replaced by the sun
I stitch together sheep counts, Z's, and dreams
but these days drag into my subconscious
and streams of melancholy drain into one

You shake your head, watching me
it seems I have mistaken midnight gloom
for rain clouds and thunderstorm doom
Summer's warnings, now clear as day,
everything they were meant to say
I tend to overthink and underthink everything we are

When winter comes,
with endless hours of midnight
maybe then, I will have enough time
to consolidate what we are destined to be
unmistakably