Your head is so hard,
It could break me to pieces,
But your touch is so soft
That my heartbeat, it ceases
For a short amount of time
Until you break me once more;
Your heart wants to love me,
But you're mind closes its door.

rainy days
sleepy gaze
romantic films
on the couch we lay.
never stopping
to consider the storm
raging outside
our bright red door.

The paint warped upon sight, like tears
Over time falling silently to the decayed
Cycle below. I felt its bleak wine pealing's
Upon my fingers And tasted its age.

The aroma of so many  memories of what
Was before of all that touched upon its
Brass holdings and It screamed in defiance
Shut so many times, now unending closure.

It wanted to be open to the world not
Subjugated in locked form. Its motions
Were static locked in an unending cycle
Of nothing. It was tearing flakes upon the floor.

It wanted to creak upon the breeze to feel
The wind to scratch at its rings of now slain
Of forgotten time. its creaks are its needing
To be open to the world once again.

A door in the wall,
A roof on the cellar.
Gone in the mind,
Like a pantheon pillar.
What voice can you have,
When you're no longer seen.
Your laughter your voice,
Like a midsummers dream.

I wish that i could take back the kindest i shared
You are  so closed  mind   and stuck in the past
I can't  live in world  where its  one way
I have take step back look see the world from outside looking in
I am nothing to then  you then just another step
My heart is too kind for you
I wish i could walk and slam door in your face
You never see how u are  blind by your own self
It  is time to remove this cancer out of my life
And  stop being the hammer to the nail

If your head is your home
Then your eyes are boarded windows.
If your mouth is the door
Then it's been locked for sure.
If your voice is a song
It's been on repeat for too long.
If your words are a work of art
Then you're an abstract painting.

If your plans are a mountain
It towers high above the clouds.
I shouldn't get involved.
I'd climb half way up just to fall.
I've seen others who try.
They had no chance to survive.
When someone gets too close
The wind just blows and blows.

It knocked on my door
the cracked door the guarded
the core of what I call home

I have glued it so many times
sometimes with cheap adhesive
others, I thought I'd be artsy
and used gold
maybe something broken can be beautiful
or so I thought

It was cold outside
do you think that's why it knocked?
It wanted some sanctuary some ****** heat?

It knocked with all its might
I was alone inside, enjoying my aloneness
with glue, sticking together the remains
of time

"Go away"
I screamed, I knew who it was
the door was shaking with every pound
the core of this chamber was vibrating
rippling fear, well it's not fear per say
but something I've felt before
something familiar

"I don't want you here"
I yelled it the same way
I'd say it to a returning lover
******* and your doings

The wind blew and blew
and the pounding escalated
so did my screams

I can foretell what it wants
from the pounding
I can feel it again  
just like how a song can ignite
feelings from the past
just like a cologne can time travel you
to that moment, on that street
I know what it wants

Suddenly the pounding stopped
so did the nostalgia trip
I came back to reality
with a glue stick in my hand
and a shard of glass in the other
"caution fragile pieces can cause bleeding"

My mind was not completely at peace
curiosity kicked in, OH LORD IT DID
I jolted to the door
and peeked from the peep hole
there it was, in a raincoat
standing there, looking back at me

Frantic, I felt my knees weaken
the mind sparked some logic
but the heart, that stupid heart
embraced everything else

"Let me in
I miss my home, I miss the warmth
I can see that you glued the door
the one I jolted from
the one I cracked and broke"

I was scared, it was fear this time
mixed with bits and pieces of adrenaline
"I know this feeling, I know it"
I recounted in my head, making sure
it was engraved in my thoughts

"but if I do, it's different now
this house is no longer a home
it's cushioned with protection
glued with experience
decorated with time
and fortified by mental rationale"

It knocked again
like an angry lover
aching to touch his woman again
like an insane human
coming off of his prozac

"It's time, you're rotting
from the inside, I know your beauty is eternal
but it's time you let me in"

Tears ran down my cheeks
I do miss the feeling
of sweaty palms, of butterflies
that feeling of fading into one
of smiling, of pausing time

But I do know that if I open that door
I will be the
person
to throw him out again
breaking
my cracked door
starting from scratch

What do you think?
Should I let him in
this
time
around?

or shall I wait
for the person
who comes jolting through
burning my door with passion
surprising
my core?

Isang bagay na kailangan mo buksan para pumasok o lumabas..

Ang puso ko rin ay parang pinto.
Pwede kang lumabas at pwede ka rin pumasok...
Pero nung lumabas ka hindi na ako umaasang babalik ka pa
Pero nagulat ako kumatok ka ulit
Nag iisip ako kung papasukin pa kita o hahayaan nalang sa labas
Dahil natatakot ako na baka may mawala ulit
Baka mawala ulit yung saya na nararamdaman ko nung natangap ko na, na lumabas ka na.
Natatakot ako na baka lumabas ka ulit at iwan nanaman akong naka bukas..
Bukas sa sakit,kirot,at pagkapagod.
Natatakot ako na maramdaman ko ulit yung sakit na naramdaman ko noong nasa loob ka pa
Natatakot ako na kumirot ulit yung mga sugat na ginawa mo
Natatakot ako na baka mapagod ako sa mga reklamo mo na wala namang katuturan
Pero pangako..
Pangako pag pumasok ka ulit sa pinto ng puso ko...
Pag pumasok ka ulit sa pinto ng puso ko siguradong pasasayahin kita hanggang sa lumabas ka ulit ng pinto

I built my own cage,
                      I’m the designer of
                                     my own prison

I twisted the metal till my hands bled
working every wire into a bar
I fastened every bolt and every *****
meticulously trapping myself there

I marked you as my salvation
and the truth is you were only a
                           figment of my imagination
I controlled this place
you were not my executioner
     and I’m free to leave
              so free

but i can’t

if you asked me to stay
I would be dammed to say no

one cadence
          one word
              one syllable
    stay.

thats all the effort you’d ever have to put in
tell me that magic phrase
Ill lock this door behind me
               forever.