i will not beat my heart for what it feels
instead
find it emptying itself day by day
until what it held
leaves no traces inside
and watch my eyes darken
circles weighing heavily under wet eyelashes
in the face of the remnants of the storm that passed
naivety and regret coexist
debris out of a natural disaster

all the blood and tears that I wasted all this years
come from the pain and hurt, that I continue to fear
I'm left alone, left behind from anything possible
I'm not disrespectful nor irresponsible
so why was I lonely most the time
I did nothing more then just a couple crimes
I'm different, I know that for a fact
doesn't mean I have to get attacked
I dream and cry just like all the rest
I don't want to keep getting treated like I'm a lab rat test
I don't blend in with the colors of the walls
why is it that I never get invited to go the mall?
why is it that I don't get asked if I'm alright?
why I'm the person they always want to fight?
I must be a figure that looks like it needs to get beat
might as well throw me in a lions den, since I'm just a piece of meat
it's hurtful and sad that I get told to die
that the only friends I have aren't humans but flies
I'm not the best looking guy in world, I get that
doesn't mean you have to bash my skull with a bat....

We are faults; we are despairing flaws that blemish the surface of our revolving sphere with the intent of making reparations.
We collapse entire cores of foundations and tear down freshly plastered walls with family portraits and decorative ceramic angels hanging from stainless steel nails.
We destroy entire civilizations, coating citizens in molten lava from a volcano that never overlooked them in the first place, leaving future lovers stepping over their remains unknowingly and blissfully clueless.
We are natural disasters; we tear through corn fields, bring down windmills, and rip shingles off of roofs while toddlers sleep soundly under quilted blankets.
But moonlight shoots through your veins and sun burns from the crevice of your chest and I can't help but cup it in my hands and put it in my coat pocket for safe keeping

i don't watch the news,
i don't read the paper.
i am blissfully ignorant
of this world's demons and ghosts

i don't have much to lose
but i prefer to inhale the vapor
this is not innocence,
but make-believe, at most.

i don't want to know about your bombs and blood
i don't care about the airplanes crashing from above
viruses to wipe out millions,
your country's soldiers killing impeccant civilians.

there is too much love in my heart
for me to know this world
in truth, honesty, clarity,
it would simply tear me apart.
this empty chaos has unfurled
could we not be human without the austerity?

so keep it to yourself,
what you heard on the television today
i'd rather not be aware of this hell
we, ourselves, have made.