the self destruct button
is waiting for that fellow to push
he'll blow himself up like
a snooker ball off the cush

it won't be any surprise
to see him blasting himself away
this very explosion was fated
on a forthcoming day

the firing switch is set
for the big self strike
whereupon he'll be ******
into the air as a flying pike

soon the event will be
happening on television
let us not miss watching
his most important mission

Stop it.
Stop it, you're hurting me.

pain seeps through my pours
blood stains the newly-bought carpet

No!
Your mother loved that carpet*

I beg
for her to stop;
leave me alone.
I don't like this game anymore

. . .

but my own shaken hand
refuses to set down
the weapon

I wonder what my life would be like if I didn't use all of my wishes begging for a smaller body
I mean, prominent bones solve everything, right?
So, I began skipping meals to speed up the process
After all- my body can easily function solely with gum and low-call mints
I repeated the words, "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels," until I believed it
I lied to myself so much it became my truth
Was Sunday's family dinner more important than my concave stomach? My dagger hipbones?
The calories tighten my clothes and expand my skin
It started out nice and slow, like all good things do,
but it quickly wrapped around my fragile body and swallowed me whole
It was never enough, I was never enough, but my body had more than enough
Until my body is 6 ft under, hidden with layers of dirt, it won't be enough
*Only that would hide my poor figure better than any XL sweatshirt

There's a thrill in the shiver
I get when I jump off the path.
A vigorous ****** shudder,
As I land up in the gutter.

My body knows this way is wrong,
However so wrought it may be
With joyous sweet song.

The melody takes over,
A sharp ringing in the brain.
The world is disobeying,
All has gone insane.

And suddenly it erupts,
With tremor after tremor,
Lost for all cause,
In the head it's trying to sever.

Yet in destruction there is beauty,
The chance of new life.
And as I set myself on fire,
I've never felt more alive.