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xx  Jan 2015
Untitled
xx Jan 2015
I am so imperfect
That I destruct myself
In loving you this much
While you destruct yourself
In loving her so bad
Candide Bailey Apr 2011
How many haunted handbooks
Will I have to read
Before I shake you ghost,
And convince it all to leave?
When will the food I eat
Ever settle in my body?
How can I learn to trust
When I am set on self-destruct?

Read this carefully
Look me up and down
Maybe you will see
Another human being

If I tried to count the times
The thought of you has crossed my mind
And how this shouldn't be
And why you've chosen me

Well tonight I grip my knees
As they're pressed tight against my chest
And I am left to feel alone
But can't go through with it
Tonight I beg and plead
Only to be free
To go back to the life I had
Why does my soul feel so bad?

One more day then one more week
Then why were you thinking you would ever want to leave
Even though it all settles to uneasy
Don't make this your eternity

I'll never learn to love
I'll never learn to trust
Read this carefully
This letter is set
To self-destruct
NitaAnn  Aug 2013
Self Destruct
NitaAnn Aug 2013
This post is set to self destruct
as am I.
I should also warn you
that this is a very insane
crazybrain ranting
that you should ignore altogether.
I, on the other hand,
cannot ignore it,
since it is happening
INSIDE OF ME!
Oh how I wish it were not so….
I have been sitting here
for 30 minutes methodically
playing with a razor blade
where to make the first cut
where, where
or here and then here
or what about here
Self destruct in 10, 9, 8...
kailasha Aug 2014
WE'VE KILLED IT.

We’ve killed Humanity.
And don’t remember
What it used to be.

We’re surrounded by fights
And nuclear weapons
We’ve killed it.
We’ve killed Peace.

We’ve turned into murderers
Unknowingly, unwillingly,
But now the habit just won’t
Leave.

It’s become habit to
Exploit
It’s become nature to
Destroy.
In a really weird mood.
Amber Bowen Jun 2015
I am a ticking bomb
Of mass destruction
Chaos burns bright in my eyes
As I pick myself apart
Looking for the right wire
Red or blue
Hesitating, shaking violently
Hushed whispers of pain and frustration
While the pressure is too much
Why would you come near
When I'm set to self destruct
You came and cut the wire.
You saved me.
Arke  Jul 2018
Destruct
Arke Jul 2018
they are old friends of mine
self doubt, self hatred, self destruction
their black gaping eyes
look at me knowingly
their bodies vibrate and pulse like anxiety
blood pours from their mouths when they speak
they whisper quietly that I'll never be good enough
I can't make myself happy, they remind me
how could I ever make anyone else happy?
they smile and show sets of teeth between red
entering uninvited, late at night
screaming obscenities and mocking me
demanding my time and energy
reminding me of all my shortcomings and failures
moments in my life that I was not enough (or too much)
and every moment coming, with premonition
I seat them into my home
though my consent has never been a requirement
they drip and ooze into the carpet
leaving thickened black sludge
and back handed compliments
identifying my worth based on shouldn'ts and didn'ts
         welcome, I tell them
though I don't want them here
         stay as long as you need to
I barely mouth the sounds of a silent cry
they expand and fill the room
until I can no longer breathe and they crush me
underneath their weight, and remind me I did this
to myself -- I welcomed them in, after all
I created them, I brought them here, and they are
mine
Somewhatdamaged May 2020
I am a freak of nature
I am control
I am the silence in your voice
When you can't seem to hold
I am the one you push around
Just like a *****
I am the one
You keep begging for more
I am control

All these words
Running through back of my mind
Leave me alone
No I can't stand on my own

Start to humiliate you?
You're acting like you're the only one
With what you've been through
Leave me alone
I will stand on my own

All I am is a **** burden
Then why am I not forgotten?
Calling me just to ******* argue!
Did I disappoint you?
And let you down
You can't even grasp with what I've been through
Leave me alone
No more talking
Through back of my mind!

I'll lead you where you want to go
I'll never let you loose control
I am control!

You made me this way
And I couldn't stay away
Or did I choose to be this way?
Either way
I am my biggest ******* mistake
Mr. Self Destruct!
those endless words that control you...I am my own demise!
Kaycee Hurt Nov 2011
he's the one that knows everything that is you and he is like half [sunny]days spent inside because he burned easily and you didn't like the feel of the medicine between your fingers when you rubbed it on his skin.

You are tired and shaky as you lie next to him on a bed filled with [half]forgotten ghosts and almost[remembered] stories about when he used to want to stay up late like little kids and just [talk]

He is a deformity forgotten because it doesn't [really] matter that he can't hold you the way you want him to after a long day spent taking care of him. {it doesn't really matter} but it does.

You are almost done with all of this and you wish you could give up, but obligation won't let you leave him all [alone] with himself because you know it scares him more than anything to be without someone.

He is {never knowing what he is} thinking when you stare at him from across the room because he refuses to talk about what is really bothering him and that [bothersyou] but you don't know why. {Because he's supposed to trust you with his weaknesses}
Kay La Jun 2014
the things you'll do after emotional abuse.
They try to love you, you run.
They try to get close to you, you push them away.
They try to break down your walls, you build them higher.
And when you realize, that you are in fact all alone..
after everything's said and done..
and that emotional abuse from the past shows his face again:
you begin to self-destruct.
Crying, sobbing,, you just want to be held
but to scared to be.
Trust issues and depression begins to define you.
You have no one to blame but yourself.
& you continue to spiral,
dying inside a little more every day
until you're in your dark room, all alone once again,
and that razor blade
pretends to be your friend.
coyote  Nov 2014
guilt
coyote Nov 2014
i spoke to
a stranger
with a
hair-trigger
self destruct
button that
they wanted
to push:
and god,
how i wanted
to help-
but when
it came time
for me
to leave,
i left.
Descovia  Aug 2022
Self Destruct
Descovia Aug 2022
I don't even care on how it be.
I am going to continue to do me.
Fast or slow, why are they stuck?
What the ****?
For real.
Ya'll need to chill
over here busting commands
Recycling hot air, false claiming as a fan
Can't handle the heat from the grill!
Get baked like an oven
I do this as if it's nothing.
Get it right.
Supply and demand
I can do this eyes closed
Look ma, no hands!
You better understand.
I am going to be grand.
One of kind, credit to Stan-ley.
Everyone be on my ****
Trying to get piece of me
I'm not candy, not the begging type
but ***** please, give me time to breathe.
Playing with my patience, is suffocating
frustrating with the fact, you instigating
I'm finalizing what I've been contemplating.
Lack of interest and motivation
Isolation withdrawn by limitations
I am not going, to make a fool of myself
I'm not Mr Satan. I'll absorb all this
like Majin Buu, blow this **** up.
No need for a demonstration...
FORGET IT....
BURNING ATTACK
Watch you all burn and  watch ya'll fall flat.
I Sling and I slash.
Cut you down to size. Just like that.
If I transform there's no turning back.
I'm powering up, going all the way up.
I been dealing with ENOUGH!
I have anger issues

Truthfully, honesty will set you free.
I'm staying on my turf, regardless if the surface gets rocky.
I forget with my ptsd
I fear no hollow or titan. I'm for Blood-C
Which side of us, you want? Don't you dare...play with me!!
That’s my bipolar coming in
I cannot be substituted or copied.
I can go for days to weeks without sleep.
Shadow step like a shinagami. OoooOOh.
If I was you, I would be watching my moves. True....
Insomnia

If they wanna talk about it. Then be about it!
You full of yourselves. This why you doubt us.
Putting on show. You fools be the loudest.
I want to keep my son every bit the proudest.
You got too many people, out here wanting to out us.
This is why I put my faith in the universe.
Before I turn you all into angel dust.
If it was up to me, I would ******* any wrong doer
by simple thought or touch
Forgive me, my mindset is bent on justice
through fighting with violence and it's a bit too much
My queen got powers only the blessed can trust.
Other people had it worse, so think before you fuss.
Think twice before you go in a rut, load the chamber
curse it all , and feed the intentions of death's lust.
Because it call could be worse, you could be part of the corrupt.
I know what it's like when it all hits and it's all abrupt.
Now before you let it go, and decide to erupt...
Imagining every impossibility, think before you self-destruct.
Here you are wondering like me.

Another ghetto rhymes and lines piece.
The darkness comes out a bit.
Forgive me, I am not perfect.
Beau Scorgie Apr 2016
How peculiar it is,
all that we keep alive with our thoughts.
I wonder,
whether it is as photosynthesis is to the plant
and a flower is yet to bloom,
or whether our faces will become blue
in the name of fallacy.

Think wisely.

— The End —