oh honey she’s too busy thinking of creative ways of killing herself to pay you any attention,
lying at night with her limbs hanging off the sides of her bed beckoning the monsters underneath to pull her under.
maybe then will she have company so that the demons in her head can take the day off,
so she can breathe without the constant weight weighing heavy in her mind.

the only patterns in her grayscale world are self-made, nah, more like self-inflicted;
there’s the cigarette burns that dot her threadbare skirt and the
the only smile she has is the ones on her wrists, but somehow i think the jagged red lines weren’t made with lipstick, no not this time.

there’s grace in her stillness; she's coiled like a python about to strike.
bite before you’re bitten, yeah.
an arrow pulled back in the embrace of a bow, she hardly quivers.
aim and point,
determination to reach her target is the only constant she can count on
slicing through the air with a trained precision,
all teeth and fangs and broken glass.
no amount of touch can erase those who tracked dirt in her house before you,
you can’t make her forget the kisses trailed down her thighs before you,
not when those lips were dripping acid and winters passed, even now she still burns.
the corroding is invisible to everyone but her.
it will take more than snow to erase all that you’ve known

There is an other, there, in the mirror. Memory space. A body without a head.
There is movement. Abstract thought.
A girl moves her lips. Air brushes against your own, but it is foreign. The staccato of her breath moulds waves of language. Indivisible meaning that slips your grasp.
Traffic stills. Fumes rise from cracked pavement. A child sleeps under a rusting skyline. A mother overdoses.
It is Autumn. Cold snatches another eight, or eighty. Cells rearrange, and a man finds himself changed. He holds a knife to your throat. You laugh until he cries.
The train comes late. You walk around the block to **** time. You find you no longer recognise the buildings surrounding you.
There is misery in your reflection, but it is just the other looking back and smiling.

A cornucopia of lies you freely fed to me,
and shoved the tainted, silver spoon down my throat,
You walked away,
and left me to choke on the ***** of your untruth.

You said you only wanted to protect me,
as you cowardly hovered your shield over yourself,
and your ******* covered bullets penetrated my heart,
driving me insane by my own sanity.

I suffocated in the shallow grave you tossed me in,
leaving me to bathe in the dirt,
and inevitably for my heart to decay and my soul to rot,
while you danced merrily atop of my tomb with your love.

I clawed my way out of the hell
that you imprisoned me in,
and stitched my mouth to keep out your lies,
becoming immortal against your torment.

Your poison tasting lips graze my own,
as you regret the treachery you bestowed on me,
but I hold a glimmering spoon in one hand,
and am whistling as I dig your grave.

the initial impact
the ruptured vessels
crying crimson
pooling up underneath the surface of your
fragile flesh
soft, breakable unlike the iron
that flows through you

then a swell
of black and blue
of violent violets
a nebula to remind you that you
                                                          are not invincible
                                                          are not invulnerable
                                                          will one day turn to dust,
a star of lost oxygen
tender to the touch

then the healing
a green gradation
yellowed edges
the swelling going down
the knowledge that nothing is permanent        

that even your bruises pale
even your blood decays
even the galaxy imprinted on your skin can explode, collapse,
lost infinitely in infinity

the knowledge that even as you are getting better,
you are fading like the bruise
that once stained your skin

I've asked questions that should not have answers,
And have dreamt they were never real.
I've fallen in love with ideas
Too perfect to ever feel.
My impossible expectations
Of moments I cannot steal;
Chilling, life, what day is it?
Will I ever make a sound?

You woke me in the night
Told me of vampires and demons
The colossal breath of dragons
Lurid fears you'd one day fight

Heart so beautifully torn
Fresh to the elements in distress
You tender path of bood roses
Between roads of howling thorns

Sing with ****** sensitivity
A warm sugar rush symphony
We are guilty spirited angels
Of flesh filled fantasies

The writhing life from your bones
Peeled and gnawed and devoured
Free from rotten memory
Of detritus filled tombs

why rot in hell
when you can rot anywhere

save the heat
for warming your bones
after the flesh has decayed

Never again,
will my lucky numbers be:
17, 23, 19, 21...
My stomach turns,
when I turn the volume to 27.
... So I lower it to 16.
3 letters that scare me,
5 weeks for a life to decay.
One deer smiling
the other solemn,
eyes glazed over.
I am within the stars.
Orion, but without his belt.
I count the stars,
one, two, three, four----
A bug buzzes in my ear...
And I come down falling,
like a shooting start.
But it's not a beautiful sight.
And the bug,
The bug had to of stung me----
Because it hurts.
My eyes are closed...
But I have to ***.
I must make my legs leave.
Fast.
GO.
NOW!
AS FAST AS YOU CAN...
... just run?
I'm here...
The bug bite stings,
I want to sleep.
To dream,
A dream better than this!
But flash backs from the stars
Plague my mind-----.
I didn't dream...
I didn't dream a dream
better than this...
The bite is gone,
but it left a mark.
A mark the size of
a 7 to 8 year sentence.
And I used to love riding my bike.
But now...
I can't stand the sound it makes.
The seat.
The handle bars.
How at any moment,
The peddle could make you crash...
SCRAPPED, CRASHED, BURNED.
I'm safe...
'Not safe yet', Police say.
I hear chatter over their radios.
Why can't I tune everything out?
... Why lie,
But the truth was never any better.

And my eyes,
Why are they so dull and grey?
I could have sworn,
they were bright blue,
Like the sky...
But there's no color left.
3 letters that scared me...
3 letters that took away,
the color in my eyes...