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Sienna Jan 2019
ive come to realize
im no ones favorite.
im all alone.
Eileen Black Dec 2018
Nightmares

A sick feeling in my stomach but a smile on my face
A memory I ignore but can’t erase
A heavy weight on my heart but too much fear
I’m holding back something I’m dying to say.
I’m losing my mind thinking what it will take
For someone to hear.

A fearful confession...it only took five years,
But of course, they believe him when he fakes some tears.
He tells them “she wanted it” and “it was consensual.”
They believe him, and my life suddenly sheers.
I nod to make them happy, but let me be clear:
It was not mutual.

Seven years old to twelve, my nightly fears were perpetual.
Who cares whose story is truthful and factual
When he sheds a tear and puts on a good show?
It seems I’m the one in the wrong, as usual.
What a fool to think my story would be equal.
It’s still a low blow.

Five years later, I still have stains on my pillow
From makeup and tears ‘cause I couldn’t say no.
Well, I did say no, but he wouldn’t listen.
Will it still hurt in five more? Who knows.
But it’s still a piece of myself I let go,
A piece I’m missin’.

It feels like something wrong with me needs fixin’.
But as long as they’re happy, I’ll keep pretendin’
That I’m okay, that I was lying. I apologize.
I hear stories about all of these women
Who are taken and sold and ***** and beaten,
And they survive.

Compared to that, this is nothing, so I’ll deny
The truth, or at least let them believe the lies.
I’ll make them happy; that’s what smiling masks are for.
If anyone asks, I’ll simply minimize
How bad it was. Who needs to know how many times
I was on the floor,

Curled up, crying, because I felt like a *****?
It will just be one more thing for me to ignore.
What more could you expect from such a fool, a clown?
I don’t want to be a disappointment anymore.
I want to go back to the little girl I was before,
The one on the playground

Who felt like a princess and wore a silver crown.
But every word I try to speak gets drowned
By my own mind and the thoughts I won’t share.
I’m fine, but the pain is always in the background.
Still, I get hit up to get felt up then shot down.
How is that fair?

If a guy likes my body and what I wear
But not me, am I supposed to not care?
Whatever happened to my shining knight?
Am I supposed to feel honored if guys stare?
I want to scream, but I just can’t find the air.
Guess that’s why I write.

Sometimes the pain and shame get too much despite
Being told countless times it will be alright.
But you will never understand what it feels like when
the monster from nightmares comes to haunt you night after night,
Except you’re not asleep and this nightmare is real life
Not ‘til you listen.
indigochild Dec 2018
pillows are just sponges for the choppy waters on my face
Andrew Dec 2018
Last night
You saved me
You saved my life

I know I will wish that you never stopped me
Nonetheless, I am grateful

I'm sorry I made you cry
I'm sorry I brought the image of death
To your mind

Please don't cry
I never meant to make you cry
The Vault Dec 2018
Sensitive mind to all the pain.  
Words dig in like knifes and leave my body to bleed
Tears flow like evening rain
Never to stop
I never asked to become sensitive to words you say.  
But I never asked for you to bully me this way.  
Pushed this way and that.  
And used as a mat.  
I can only take so many wounds to myself.  
From your words.  
And how you treat me.  
Before I break into a million prices.  
And no one can ever fix me.
Tayla Gale Dec 2018
I lay silently awake
Tears are rushing down my face 
I've turned away from you. 
I can't speak to you. 

Where did this go wrong? 
It's been bad for so long 
It time that we wake up to this 
There's days that we forget to kiss 

We've been dead for quite some time 
I can't keep saying that "I'm fine" 
I need to go my separate way,
So I can stop living day by day. 

There was a time that you gave me roses, 
The roses are dead and all that's left are thorns. 
I can't keep crying, lying, saying "I'm yours"
It's time that we wake up and see that we both have flaws. 
We're just not meant for each other, 
And that's okay. 
Darling, I'm sorry to say, 
I don't love you anymore.
Faith Dec 2018
Sometimes all I want
Is to go home
Sorry this is so random. I'm sitting here crying like a baby about wanting to go home with my parents instead of stuck at my Grandma's.
AWeirdStranger Dec 2018
Did I love you with all of my heart? Guilty.

Did I take care of you from the start? Guilty.

Did I help you learn and play and grow? Guilty.

So why then, now must you go?


Was I not enough? Guilty.

Wasn't I tough enough? Guilty.

Perhaps I left the leash too long? Guilty.

The choices you made were all wrong.


Am I fading now into the dark? Guilty.

Did I never even make a mark? Guilty.

Did I try and cry and fight and yell? Guilty.

Now you're leaving me right here in hell.


Was there something more I could've done? Guilty.

Will I be looked down on by everyone? Guilty.

Will I cry all through the night and day? Guilty.

How I truly wish that you could stay.
aweirdstranger.wordpress.com
Becca Dec 2018
Sometimes so many ideas
are rushing through my head
That I cry tears
Of words
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