Math is where we first met
I observed you from my seat,

Occasionally glancing at the door
Thought you were cute and cool

Oh no, you caught me staring!
Then... things took a weird turn
Suddenly you started reeling
As if having diarrhea and burn
Like a fish out of water, uneasy
While miming weirdly at me

Your eyes pointed at my paper,
Then a series of stupid motions
I had to lip read; you said “answer”
You gestured to copy my solution

Oh crap! Stop goading me please…
My emotions, bordered love and hate

Infatuation, now, transitioned to regret
You ignited an inner battle I can’t take

My grades here weren’t that high!
God, I’m no good with numbers!
I tried protesting, but your eyes…
They were pleading… I surrendered

I can sense your hush,
Walking beside me,
What if our hands brush?
Why step away,
What's with the rush?

Sleepless nights,I wear them out.
But if i ran up to you,
Just wait and you'll see
How much i can show off.
Like the way moon charms the stars
I shine, flushed
Beneath your Light.
My tears floating as i become
Captive to your touch.

The more you want me,

the more you'll see me, even --


when I am not there.

A lingering glance.
I look away.
A subtle flirt.
I don’t notice.

Blatant ignorance.
But not blissful.
Months pass.
They tell me.
I understand.

A lingering glance.
I still look away.
A subtle flirt.
I blush a bit.

New knowledge.
I didn’t see it.
It eats at me.
Guilt for not knowing.
Never questioning.

A lingering glance.
My eyes hold.
A subtle flirt.
A blushing smile.

I think I understand.
They connected with me.
I think I understand.
Why they see me like this.
Why I see them the same.

A lingering glance.
I make a funny face.
A subtle flirt.
I finally flirt back.

having a crush
feels like the word itself

I couldn't tell you....
so I would lay in bed at night and dream that you were holding me, whispering endlessly in my ear about random nothings full of silent every things.
I couldn't tell you....
so I'd write about you, endlessly with meaningful rhythm.
making sure I get every thought in.... how you'd smile at me in the moonlight, trying to find words that expressed the way you'd laugh, or how your eyes would do that thing when you were confused.
I couldn't tell you....
so every time your name came up I felt an earth quake start to form in the middle of my chest. trying everything to disguise the pain that had rooted there from your absence.
I couldn't tell you....
so I let all these feelings take me over.... it wasn't supposed to be you, and I knew that. but what was I supposed to do? tell myself I was wrong?
so I did what any sane person would do....
locked away that aching pain to go out and pull you close, shoved the idea that you maybe feel the same so far down that it drowned in it's own hope eventually killing itself.
I couldn't tell you.... so I let it **** me.

My head gets dizzy when you are around,
until your comforting jokes makes me laugh
Its easy with you to ignore the droning sounds
as we window shop as naively lively calves.

Your blue eyes match the tattoo on your tummy
proudly showing the piercing of your belly button,
Good friend resisting how you were so yummy
When we would met up, my heart had sunken

22 years later I met you after a long absence
I swear you had not changed in the slightest
You still lit up as beautiful as the fountain springs
An Angel of top tier creation of God's Gift.

so there's this boy....
his eyes are pool's of blue I'd so willingly drown in.
And when he smiles I just can't help but stare and smile too.
so there's this boy....
And let me tell you, I can see it all.
I can see how he'll look at me early in the morning when we first wake up, or how late at night he'll pull me close.
I see all the love that would be shared between us, the late movie night's and early breakfast's before work.
sometimes I feel like we could be holding an eternity of possibilities in our hands.
so there's this boy....
And you may not believe me but he's got a heart of gold.... it shines through everything he does.
how he talks to people, conversating like it's the best part of his day. it's in all the little things you wouldn't notice if you didn't truly look. but it's in everything he does.
so there's this boy....
And I can't seem to stop thinking about him.... and he probably doesn't even know.
but I'm telling you there's this boy and every time he comes to mind, I get a glimpse of what we truly could be.

josef
joseeef
the gay one
i like you a lot
you’re the best
jose-
i think you're gay
but that’s ok because it’s
priiide month