when you're on
the window ledge of life
people tell you
go see a psychiatrist
(get yourself some therapy)
I've been here a while
haven't drawn a crowd yet
but people are starting to notice
(I'm pretty unobtrusive)
even my own mother
didn't recognise me once
(she's part of the problem)
but that's another story
as I say been here a while
and I'm starting to enjoy
the view
if you don't look down
where all the problems are
but take in the horizon
crazy isn't a bad place to be
I see sunsets
flocks of birds
cloud formations
moon phases
starting to go ancient man brain
starting to cure myself
all that **** below me
doesn't matter
the cars, the people, the noise
pollution, war, ******
I've started to make
the ledge my home
moving in
I can jump any time I want
but find myself needing
another sunrise
blinding light of today
gradually illuminating a world
that really doesn't deserve it
people want me to get therapy
so I can live in a crazy world
how does that
make any kind of sense

You can call me ******, that's ok, I'll still believe that word today.
Tell me you hate me, that's okay, because now I know your true feel.
I'm nothing but a crazy *****, but you're the little *****...and that's still okay, at least I'm not a snitch.
Call for backup, but no one came, now who's the one to blame.
Hahaha, laugh in your face, now do you still really want to play this game?

I'm tired
I'm tired of waking up everyday,
Getting up and trying to be staid,
Listening to some music and feeling nothing,
Like i lost all the things to feeling,
Staring into the celling so lazy,
And hiding of the think that I'm crazy,
But I'm and it so ******* scary,
Because I lost myself many years ago,
And I don't know where I want to go,
Or the person I want to be,
Or who I'm now in presently,
My body is my prison,
My death is the freedom,
I just want some time,
To rest or death of mine,
I'm tired,
I'm so ******* tired.

In the part of growing up
I realized that
crying is not a sign of weakness
anger issues are never an excuse
out spoken is not attitude
introvert is not an abnormality
keeping secret is not a matter of pride
being busy doesn't count under fake
choosing alone doesn't mean hating people
being sad doesn't mean you are not happy
and feel of home doesn't always need a house

meaning of words always do differ beyond people
time really do heal everything eventually
choices doesn't count with any friendship
mistakes are meant to be done just to learn
and perfection is almost an illusion

in the way of growing up
I tend to cherish the stays than crying on lefts
love these abnormalities which were always nah's being a kid
feel happy in dark days just remembering
the proud time of future remembering this today
I tend to thank my trauma which I used to hate the most
I tend to accept the reality just while am writing being lost!

I have a monkey
for my thoughts
hanging around
dangling down
by the tail
till it’s caught

often chasing
swing to swing
a string of a thing
I cling
carrying the thought

people say
no monkeying around
stop the thinking
the red wine
your drinking
and cage your mind

but with a jacket
and matching
white pyjamas
Tonight, dinner’s at the circus
and I’m going nuts
and bananas