When I was young looking for some fun, a mistake, boy did I make
I remember the store, the mask that I wore, and words the owner did take;
"Someone's going to pay for what happened here, I sure as hell know
no way you will get away with this, if you think you can just go"....

So now I did my time and took what's mine, that crime was long ago
I paid my dime and let that be a sign, for society to finally let go
No more running and no more hiding, I'm just going to stop right in here
I made mistakes and suffered my aches, now leave me to drown in my beer

I'm out, no longer so stout, and just happy to breathe some fresh air
but as I walk down the street a free man, I still seem to get that stare
As an older man now, I don't know how, I will never be able to adjust
then my inner soul told me so, for my sole mission I know I now must

Doing that crime was never fine, and I'm ashamed for all that took place
but now I'm free, wanting to truly be, an upright member of society's race
I'll get a job and rap with those kids and beg them to always remember
nothing in this world has any meaning, if you're not going to be a member

Although the day is short, and the hour is late, but suffice it for me to say
that fatal mistake you're about to make, the rest of your life you shall pay
The one way out, perhaps your last bout, may still be found if you can cope
find a true friend, to give you his hand, to teach you this prayer called HOPE.....

Loneliness has taken over, and I'm out of control
finding myself spiraling downward, it's taking a toll
unbearably stressed out, and looking for an escape
hoping to avoid despair, that upon me it not retake

What happens every day, heavily upon my heart does it weigh
watching people live their lives, but with minds in such disarray
this only serves to confirm my fear, I really live in my own world
surrounded by loneliness, worries around me have now encircled

Unrelenting internal struggles, like strong waves slamming the shore
coping with these new challenges, and my sadness hoping to ignore
creatively developing strategies, thinking confusion of mind to negate
but words of loneliness burdening my heart, was what I had to relate

Searching my mental landscape, seeking to find some emotional rest
even if only a temporary escape, this world makes me feel oppressed
alone to ponder these troubles, sadly, they are all I have to my name
forced to keep this secret, their revelation would only bring me shame

Life will go on without you, forever left with your own world to deal
your dreams are unlike all others, you wait for another heart to feel
hoping to fill your emptiness, just by knowing someone else cared
enabling you to find peace of mind, and never again to be scared

Don't fall into despair, you're not alone being trapped in loneliness
sadness may lead to sin, but right now your pain borders holiness
hold on just a little longer, new days bring new light, try and cope
G-d is coming to your rescue, because in him you never lost hope

You're a prisoner for life, try and plan your escape, free to contrive
but remember the reality, no one ever gets out of this world alive
confusion does not last a lifetime, only our sadness blinds the way
In the end we'll find the happiness we seek, and forever will it stay

Although you're different, you just don't care
doing what's right, even if the world will stare
maintaining your principles, this, to you is life
others try to upset you, but you're above strife

and you can deal......

You often try to do good, but it does not always come out that way
accepting the momentary setback, and the price you readily pay
looking at things differently, holding yourself to a higher standard
able to suffer alone, remaining silent even when you're slandered

because you can deal......

Unwilling to follow the norms, you recognize they often emanate from below
so you refuse to subscribe to society's whims, who is a friend and who is a foe
knowing every day is another test, and you wonder if you'll manage to get by
despite your good faith attempts, nevertheless, in the end things just go awry

but you try and deal......

Once again, you're left staring yourself in the mirror, wondering why you
then from somewhere deep down, you find the answer you already knew
a very real part of you, your inner conscience, does patiently wait for time
trusting all will be good, because you draw your strength from the sublime

you know this is real......

While cruising through life, you'll find your memories hold a secret, you begin to understand
the experiences you've experienced are not your own, because they've had a guiding hand
so when memories ultimately return, receive them happily, they come by purposeful design
knowing all is Good, having been orchestrated by G-d alone, the sole architect of the Divine

The Real Deal......

Now engulfed by silence, with my thoughts must I contend
trying to avoid the abyss, a state of loneliness to descend
being in touch with my feelings, I have become confined
thinking to escape, despite being directionless and blind

The days bring disappointments, with weeks fleeting hope
feeling you're at that point of no return, you just can't cope
yet, happy memories break that spell, in time wounds heal
constantly keeping yourself occupied, thinking you can deal

Regain your emotional stability, and recognize this very power
healing starts from within, so don't retreat from your ivory tower
the human mind has an endless light, where happiness is found
leading you toward a deeper understanding, this life is profound

Don't drown in the waters of silence, your mind brings you there
it creates images of fear, trapping you, your subconscious snare
find a friend in whom you can trust, and share your pain and fear
you'll then unburden your heart, knowing that someone does care

At times silence can be beneficial, when kept under your control
but if it causes your mind to become delusional, it will take a toll
silence breeds independence, so you can make it work for you
it resides in a world of its own; you don't have to be a who's who

So take advantage of this internal silence, a catalyst to achieve
exile yourself to its sanctuary, in its power you've got to believe
light is mere reflection, it is silence which you will ultimately see
it alone will enable you to find happiness, your true spiritual key

i remember aimlessly driving those barren city streets
in the deadest hours of the night
hoping to see you doing the same
i never saw you
and even if i did
i wouldn't have known what to do
it's been a year
and i still don't know what to do