(what do you want from me?)

i want you to come with me,
deep below,
down beneath,
let me bury you.

(would it be quiet down there?)

yes,
with dirt in your ears,
dirt on your tongue,
the silence so beautiful.

(and if i don't like it, can i dig myself up again?)

no,
but you won't want to.
the earth will hold you,
the dark will warm you,
the worms will sing to you.

you will never be lonely again.  

(then bury me,
hold me,
don't ever let me go.)

Wondering about this
this memory brings up that
that night was so cold
Coldness after the fight
Fought with sharpest words
Words fell like bullets

The day was chilly too
Too silent the next morning
morning light was faded
fading memory but guilt
Guilty feeling blues feel
Felt the silence ****

The evening was short
Short conversation starts
Started random talks
Talked everything but problem
Slowly we forget
Forgotten why we fought

It is a routine
Routine continuing
Continuous cycle running
Run to same beginning
Beginning of another talk
Talk that ends with fight.

Under the orange sunset
Our arms wrapped around pillows
Have you ever felt that
Comfort below weeping willows?

We are here, far from home,
So let me listen to your stories
From outside this sweltering dome.
Let me listen to your worries.

Don't you dare say sorry,
Don't say you're fine,
Don't be scared, don't hurry,
Your secrets are mine.

Here it is only us and the furniture,
Glowing with the golden sun.
For now, just forget the future
And focus on the now, the fun

from a long, long time ago,
In a faraway place perchance,
Remember how winds used to blow
Free. Your family, friends, romance...

Tell me more, till you are sore,
I am here, one with the air,
Listening as your teas pour
And comfort you, show that I care

for you…
Now there is no fear.
Just your sweet tea and tears
enslaved in the atmosphere...

You talk and talk, on and on...
Recursion. Infinite loop.
But what about me?
Would you do the same for my bitter, black tea?

You ask me if I’ve tasted defeat
no
I’ve swallowed it whole and the digestion resulted in apprehension to any path I can’t crawl my way through

It’s ironic
the brain travels three thousand miles per minute
even as the body sits as still as Ice Age mountains
so my solution is to taste victory on golden platters in a dream sequence
the pattern is seamless
I’ve learned about suffering but would never teach it
A man like me could never lead, despite the absence of light that follows

but enough about aorta chambers left hollow, tell me of your timeline
what have you tasted
what has life left in your wallet
in your bed side
in your lungs
in your goodbyes
in your smiles
tell me what you know of reality and the singularity, our humble beginnings
tell me anything to distract me from the hours, the minutes, the seconds and every inch of my taste buds.

Please.

Does it all add up?
You should take it out
of the equation
1312
what's the cost of
disaster & devastation?

An acceptable loss
A reduction
Complete or Total
Destruction

What's the economics
of a butterfly,
The means tested
dimensions
of a vegetable,
the equation
for your dreams,
and the measure
for respectable?

Can you budget
for a life?
When all is said
and done,
who's counting
looking
down the barrel of a gun?

"So, we were having this conversation, and all of the sudden...well I couldn’t believe it...

"Oh, she went on and on about fields of daisies or something like that... She talked forever!

"Ok, ok...but first I have to build it up, so you know, you can appreciate the fullness of the moment.

"So we’re sitting there, having this conversation, and she just perks up...

"Yeah, she like...sat up in her seat, eyes bright as a light bulb, and she looks at me in this weird kinda way...

"I don’t know what way exactly, it was just weird. Like I was Brad Pitt or somebody like that.

"...Or someone like that, God! Are you gonna let me tell you or not?

"Anyway, she looks at me and just blurts it all out.  I mean she talked about it nonstop for an hour. I was thinking, Hell...we’re wasting time talking...

"No, I’m serious. It was an hour at least! After she finished I asked if she was serious.

"Well, I just wanted to make sure. Then she gets this ******* look and I thought she was going to slap me or something. It was like my asking her totally ruined the moment. It was a little freaky. I thought for sure she was just going to get up and leave like I blew my chance.

"Yeah, well...it might have been better if she did. She just looked at me, not like earlier when she thought I was Brad Pitt though. Now she was just dumbfounded or something.

"You know like...she couldn’t believe I even had to ask after what she had just asked me.

"Yeah, you’re probably right, I am. But look I can’t just...you know, after Jennifer and all, I can’t just leap out there without looking. I’ve got responsibilities to think about.

"Oh, whatever! I am not. It’s not wrong for guys to think about that.

"I don’t even know why I’m talking to you!

"Well...of course, I said yes, what do you think I’m a total *****? She’s way too pretty say no too."

We found a cosy enough scene amongst the chaos,
Two strangers connecting among a crowd
like anxious magnets in a scrapyard
And it felt
A first encounter with a lifetime lover from some other dimension;
my self in a sense, caught to the reflection of an opposite ***.

We were the 'quiet ones' in our own regard
Prone to panic attacks and sudden unruly suggestion of madness and lengthy times of introvert
And although there was a lifesworth we never knew
There was enough of an understanding to
Make conversation. I mostly listened,
Lost in your voice. I don't think I'd ever gotten on with
Someone so quick
                            but
   There are some beautiful people in the world that do that:
By the end of a conversation you're ready to hold them
A million years
                     Or more.

The second conversation came later in the night,
Listening to the flowery clock locked to her chest
her mouth stirring cockerel shells and laughing honey teeth
liltly blind; oceanblue irises circumference marble black
            pupils, puffy cheeks and half moon lips
                            curled and split in a caring smirk;

it seems impossible
to imagine being you and not thinking myself beautiful
Yet you say that's the case,
And like my expression was open to telepathy
She said the very same thing back to me and we both thought
I love you
but neither could say it.

There probably wasnt enough similarities to make up
For the differences.

we’ll continue to
talk about
the change
of seasons

it’s easy conversation
an easy conversation starter

and it’s boring
and it’s safe

and I don’t
have to ask you
how your mother’s doing

and that’s good
because I know
she misses me.