Obedience
The word makes my mouth feel weird.
What is it there for.
It is it really there to help with discipline.
Or is it there to make you a tool for society.
Is to maintain you from being yourself.
Or does it suppose to balance it out.
I don't know at this point.
While I was a kid, obedience made me a toy to society.
and held me back from myself.
I grew up resenting everyone who could be themselves wishing I was free.
But finally I have that freedom I crave.
Obedience.
What is it for?

Is this a love poem?
It sure seems that way.
Empty and broken
lacking in sense
starting with a question
and then

I wonder if your heart becomes as heavy as mine
If thoughts of me ever flood your mind.
Do you also feel like it is hard to breathe?
As though you cannot receive enough oxygen no matter how deep the breaths you take may be?

I wonder if your throat tightens like mine does when I start to wonder where everything went wrong.
Because I can't seem to find an answer I just know that we fell off.

Do you ever wonder about why we never ended up together even though the love on both ends was so strong?
Because I wonder often- even though I know I shouldn't

...I stay wondering if you're wondering too.

An old oak tree
It would always ask
Me to nourish thee
I’d sit alone every day
Until you would come to stay
The leaves would fall
And I would too
But I fell in love with you

The broken pieces lay on the floor
Like glass they hurt when touched
Until you came through the door
Blood running down the piece you clutched

An old oak tree
It would always ask
Me to nourish thee
I’d sit alone every day
Until you would come to stay
The leaves would fall
And I would too
But I fell in love with you

My mind has split apart
I felt like I was drowning
My heart had split in two
And it was all for you
I didn’t know what to do

The darkness had settled back in
And I would begin to realise my sin
The sin of letting you examine
The pieces you had clutched

An old oak tree
It would always ask
Me to nourish thee
I’d sit alone every day
Until you would come to stay
The leaves would fall
And I would too
But I fell in love with you

But before I could break
I was made aware of the mistake
That you were planning to leave
My heart had time to relieve


An old oak tree
It would always ask
Me to nourish thee
I’d sit alone every day
Until you would come to stay
The leaves would fall
And I would too
But I fell in love with you

Your smile is like the moon
One shift and it sends a tide
A tide of emotion I can’t explain
It’s like you’ve taken away the rain
And with it....... my pain

An old oak tree
It would always ask
Me to nourish thee
I’d sit alone every day
Until you would come to stay
The leaves would fall
And I would too
But I fell in love with you
I hope you feel that way too

I've written straight with crooked lines
Told truth true with white lined lies
Quenched the fire with months of dust
Healed your wounds with salves of ****
There's nothing here that's as it seems
The river will slow farther upstream

music plays in my ears
my thoughts are laced with the rhythm
and lyrics
while my physical body is at a standstill
with my mind
and my heart
i cannot render anything
nothing makes sense anymore
without this particular person
even though i’ve lost this person long ago
i foster the craving of their presence
lost i am
lost.

baby, how deep is your love?
how much do you love me?

is it deep enough to drown me in tears?

is it deep enough for us to swim out of joy?

are you worth the pain?

Silly love, nuanced as you please
There ain’t nothing I could ever do
I may look like I swallowed the ring of keys
But flying our stolen starship is all up to you

Drive my confused brain cells into extinction
Set the blush on my cheeks straight to full ignition
Don’t let the curious violets catch you softly shrinking
Nevermind my lopsided grin, love, tell me what you’re thinking

Silly love, ornate as you can be
There ain’t nothing I wouldn’t ever do
I may read like flimsy paper-thin allegories
But finding me out is far from something new

Twist up my elastic veins to cat’s cradle elation
I know I’m not rare, but I’d still be your florid fiction
And when the shy mimosas catch us slowly unfolding
We’ll shake ourselves silly as we flee, love, tell me if you’re falling.