my heart pounds
as you hold me in your arms.
crying quietly,
while I fall to your charms,
my dear anxiety.

Her sister gave me the letter, said she moved out to Philly.
I said “**** really? You gotta be kidding.”
Now I’m feeling guilty.
She said “******’ right, didn’t I tell ya so?
She was just hurt, ya know.”
But I just spoke to her on the phone like a week ago.
She never told me though.
I told her I’d be back in a minute, I swear.
“You swear? You don’t love this city anymore!
You’d rather be at the shore
Gallivanting with your ******.
Do they love you?”
It’s not like that, it was part of the scene.
It got crazy, I’ll admit, but that’s not my routine.
She said “You’re only sorry now ‘cause you lost your queen.”

I know I was too far gone in arrogance,
Chased a life of elegance.
Started acting like everything was part of my inheritance.
The Bay Shore Stunner began to take precedence.
Then soon I was forgetting about all of my benevolence.
If I had to be honest, yeah, I needed that,
But you know that isn’t me so don’t believe in that.
You say there are rumors of these girls, where’d you read that at?
Those posts, those pics, that life is all gone, I deleted that.
How could you say I don’t love my city no more?
I’m so Chesapeake I’m sure there’s Old Bay at my core.
Now my queen is gone and it don’t feel like it did before.
Because she feels like I broke a promise on that rooftop I swore.
My bad emotions don’t have time to unpack,
I need my queen back and get us back on track.

Hey love, my love,
Been some months, some weeks, some days since we last met up.
You were playing at the shore and you got caught up.
That wasn’t supposed to be your scene.
You’re supposed to be here with me.
But you love it.
You love that they think you’re a superstar.
Is that why you left us?
You needed to prove to strangers how great you are?
You don’t love this city anymore.

More than a letter, it’s my reflection
Of a girl that took a journey to find perfection.
Eventually it consumed me, it’s my obsession.
I stumbled, slipped, and tripped all over, lost my direction.
Oh I couldn’t stand the smell of failure.
Anger, disappointment fit me like it was tailored.
But you helped me breathe better, you were my inhaler.
Then you went and jumped ship like a fickle sailer.
This was your dream, growing old in Charm City,
This is the story you once sold to me.
This was a promised that you guaranteed,
That maybe the two of us could become three.
Why did I hang onto all of your words?
Intoxicating, I felt my heart was slurred.
My feelings were crying and you never heard.
This is what happens when you clip wings of a bird.
This is officially the worst.
This is the hurt.
This…
This is my au revoir, adios, addio.
Sealing this with a kiss.