I can see you there,
hiding behind your wall.
well I’ll climb right over it,
I’m not afraid to fall.
Besides, I can always start climbing again,
what’s a few bruises and scrapes between friends?!
I’ll find you where you are hiding
and I’ll try to help you see,
How much I really care for you
and how much you mean to me.
I understand it’s been easier,
to build your wall instead of getting hurt,
so I won’t come along and smash it down,
instead I’ll sit with you in the dirt.
I’ll help you to install a gate
so sometimes I can come through,
I’ll try to help repair the cracks,
using love and kindness for the glue.
I’ll fill some gaps with flowers,
to bring some colour to your life,
their beauty keeping you hopeful,
when your mind is in trouble and strife.
One Day you’ll be strong enough
to come out from where you hide
and it won’t be so scary
for you to allow me to see inside.
But until that day I’ll keep scaling your wall,
and planting my flowers in the gaps,
hopefully they will help you to see
there’s beauty within the cracks.
For I refuse to leave you hiding alone,
So I’ll keep climbing, stone by stone.

His eyes were as blue as the sea,
they sparkled as he played with his young granddaughter.
He beamed as he watched her grow up,
he would never be able to express his adoration for her,
and she would never be able to do this for him.

Her heart sunk as she watched him grow old.
When she was younger she’d always joke that
he’d live until he was a hundred years old,
that age was creeping ever closer.
They saw each other daily and chatted as if
they had all the time in the world.

She couldn’t imagine a life without him…
She had always thought he was invincible,
but over the years his face had become hollow,
and he began to become short of breath.

She vowed to make the most of the time they had left,
she promised she wouldn’t view him differently,
the only difference now was that it was her job
to look after him, rather than the other way around.

I can not remember the last time I was truly happy
Every day is like waking up to a monster staring at me
I want to scream and cry, but I remember that monsters are not real,
And that I am only being over dramatic

“Get over it” they say
Don’t tell me to get over it
That tells me that you don’t care
It only makes me so much worse

Just because I act does not mean I am able to act happy all the time
I put on a smile, but on the inside I am scared

I am scared to leave my seat because I think people are talking about me
I am scared to talk in class because I think I will say the wrong thing
I am scared to go to school because I think I won’t be worth anything in the long run

These things I am scared of are only in my head, I know that
But my mind is like that sometimes

The people that I call my friends are like fire
They may seem amazing from far away,
but they have the ability to burn me if I get too close
And that burn won’t go away, no matter how much I try

That burn stains my skin,
And the only difference between real and metaphorical fire
Is that the scar from real fire can be seen by other people

These are the people that make me think they are talking about me
These are the people that make me think I am going to say the wrong thing
These are the people that make me feel like I am not worth anything
But I keep them around because I don’t have anybody else
Now you see why I am scared

The reason I have trust issues is not because my mom broke a promise one time
The reason I have trust issues is because I have been ******* over way too many times

It takes everything in me to close my eyes during bonding games because I do not trust other people around me
The people that I’ve been around for years, I can not trust because I’m scared
I’m scared people will hurt me without me even knowing it

I use self-deprecating humor to hide behind the sadness and pain
It’s ironic really

My loneliness seeps through my pores like chemicals
It paints a picture of perfect pain and poor mental health
I try, I really try to be positive, but sometimes it makes me hurt even more

I know I have friends, but my uncontrollable anxiety and paranoia makes me believe
That none of them want to be around me

Being lonely is like you’re floating through space
Nobody can hear your screaming no matter how loud you are

If you look up in the sky on a clear night you can see the very center of the milky way
It’s a beautiful mix of yellows, and purples, and blues
Almost like a Van Gogh painting
28,000 light years away, but we are still able to see the beautiful mystery on earth

And I’m right in the middle of all of it, but you wouldn’t be able to see me
No, you wouldn’t want to see me

It’s like Saturn’s rings are getting tighter and tighter until I can’t breathe anymore

But do you even care?
Probably not.

And once again,
My love betrayed me.
He found one better,
One that filled his soul in ways that I could never.
She’s not broken like me,
But neither is she kind like me;
Or selfless like me;
Or caring like me either.
So, when he stares at her
In the same way he used to stare at me,
I hope he sees everything that she is not
As well as everything she is.
She may fill his soul in ways that I could never,
But she will never fill his soul like me.
She may be the one he chose,
But she will never be me.