Pain consumes me.
It thwarts all thoughts of me ever being happy.
The dark encloses me in a cage with tall iron bars.
And I sit curled up in a corner,
Head on my knees,
Silently crying.
But some days
The sun shines through the cracks of the boarded up ceiling.
I hold on to that light like a lifeline.
I cherish and treasure it,
Hold and caress it.
Murmur sweet nothings in its ear and try to convince it to stay.
Convince it to chase the darkness away.
But I always have to let it go.
And I go back to my corner,
Curled up with my head on my knees
Until the light comes out again.

My head slowly fills up with water as the darkness consumes me.
And I struggle to keep the tide at bay.
To keep my head above water.
I desperately wish for the light to come back again.
Because without the light
I don’t think I have the strength
To keep myself from drowning

i am a flower.

i will grow in the sunlight
and bloom under the moon.

i will be plucked by fingers
too greedy to nourish me after.

but i am a flower
and i refuse to wilt in your vase.

The tune you played it ran so sweetly
I was sure Time himself had stopped
    dead in his tracks to greet me
And let believe all the while my soul
    had been enslaved
Such was the relief to my heart that it
    gave;
Holier than the sight of monasteries
    crouched in secluded valleys
Sweeter than the song of the bird in
    the green Summer's tree
So sweet was it that it opened a
    thousand as yet unsavoured dreams
And had my mind rest easy on the
    cool wind
Which swept over their prosperous
    seas.

                              II

The tune you played brought calm
    upon a boisterous evening
Though Sorrow came to me
When I saw you finish and leave the
    centre stage
For I had thought I might live forever
    under your enchanting spell
Far from the world in peace and
    harmony
With Love kept, not left weeping
Far from the wakening hour
From that chore of modern empty
    living;
It was by far the sweetest tune
It released this fellow songbird from
    his cage
And it all seemed like glorious Heaven
    these brief moments spent
For he who had longed always to be
    free.

                                Translated from the
                                original Latin of
                                Emperor Nero circa
                                40 AD (his later
                                period).

you wander mindlessly along,
you wish to find the light on road.
you seek the freedom,
you want love.

you stretch your arms in front,
failing to grasp unknown.
you long for
finding love.

you don't let your heart
escape,
you don't wish
to love.

you've locked your heart
in cage -
you've banished it
from love.

you let the cage to open,
as the chance is seen.
you lock it once again -
the love

and know, you,
it shall stay there
and see no freedom -
no love.

I love him after all this time
I want him to know the pain I went through
But I am sure his eyes will never read this
So it does not feel right saying "you"

We will never have a relationship again
He made that fact perfectly clear
I must go through this life alone
I have no one to hold near

I think it is better off this way
Iron cage built around my heart
Miles of highway between him and I
To ensure we stay apart