I never once felt so trapped
              till i came back to my cage
With a door that never open
               Where the dark never fades
And the fear never ends

They say they understand
that i can leave when i please
that im free


     What kind of lie is that

Do you even see me?

The constant frown that will never
turn upside down
not without my Angel
That cant touch me

How could you understand this
The fear
It suffocates me
***** the air out of my lungs
how much longer till i die here

Im tired of being afraid
Afraid you will ban me from my Angel
From my school
From my life
What i worked so hard to mold into what i want

Im getting so close
And you want to destroy it
Its not finished
Its not pretty now
But soon it will beautiful
smooth
and straight

Soon
         I wont feel the need to stray from path
                               The need to find the love i seek
                                                   To enjoy this short life
                                                                ­              To Feel


Dont worry
Soon
I will be fixed
You wont have to worry about
Me misbehaving
Breaking your rules

Soon my legs will rust to a stop
So i cant run anymore
From your constant desire
to protect me
When you are the one putting me in danger
from what i have to do
to learn

But dont worry
soon enough
I will stop
No more banging again the bars
screaming
im almost done
Dont worry

You’ve got me locked up in this cage
My mouth full of dirt, my heart full of rage
I’ve been beggin n’ pleadin, won’t you let me go
The veins so tight, they’re gonna blow
You pick me up, then push me down
Hold me under, until I drown
I don’t understand the reasons why
You clip my wings, then demand I fly
You’ve got me nailed to your cross
A load to carry, when I feel so lost
I never know which way to turn
You stoke my flame, then watch me burn
The fare you serve, so sticky sweet
You fill my plate, but won’t let me eat
You light a candle, just out of reach
Is there a lesson, you’re tryin’ to teach?
I don’t know why, you love these chains
Like a man on fire, a heart deranged
Bound and gagged, seems the only way
To keep your angry beasts at bay
I’m a prisoner of your wild desires
…Trapped inside a lustful fire
You want to have, but not to hold
I’ve never felt…a fire as cold
Baby, baby, why can’t you see
What this torment does to me
Don’t you feel the loss of my decay
I’m a broken sparrow, trapped in a cage

When all is said and done
I know I will miss this place
Miss the people
The view from the windows
The pillow I cuddle each night
But at the moment I feel like a rat in a cage
Poked and prodded and just now
Catching the scent of nearby freedom
Into a frenzy pacing the bars back and forth
Looking for a way out
Yet knowing that there isn't one just yet

Demons held in jars on my shelf.
I pick one up and talk to it,
"I think I'm wrong..."
Malice and the dead look in its eyes answer.
"... You're nodding. What do you know?"
When you go, will you haunt me?
Demons,
freed from their jars on my shelf,
run wild.

"I never knew it was toxic, until I tasted freedom with love. I never knew what it was like to be loved, without being encaged. But now I can take my decisions, I can roam free. I can be loved and be my own person. I chose what I do today and forever.
It was love before, it is love now. But now he loves me into independence. I discover more about myself. I find myself healing.The stifling breath, and aching sobs in my chest are slowly fading.  It was love before but the bad outweighed the good. Too weak and in love to leave. But I am not a possession, I am my own person."

- excerpt from a monologue of breaking free from a possessive relationship