At 1:01, break

Passed a bit ago, late day

Per the usual

The only time I'm not stressed
Is when I've worked myself past the point of breaking

Being too tired to feel is my comfort zone
I feel so at home in running around
I don't rest while I sleep
Instead to-do lists and unfinished problems are scripted into my dreams
Using the backs of my eyelids as a whiteboard for tomorrow's tasks

I can't tell if this constant state of movement is Newton's Law
Or a feable attempt to be enough--for no one but myself

I second guess each right answer, every step forward
My thoughts get a racetrack in lieu of a bed

I know this isn't normal
So imagine what I'd do to be in the moment I'm living
Instead of the somewhere else I always am

i traverse life now
keeping precious mind busy
between cigarettes

No Phone, No phone, No phone's today
you have to put your phone away
No looking down at screens all-day
You have to put your phone away
Look up, look out, engage, be free
Without your phone now you can see

See me...

See here and now
Be here and now...with me

Real-life not fake

No phone today
Give it a break

My heart beats fast
There’s another email blast
Did not even break my fast
Until when this will last?
I want to sleep so badly
But even in my dreams it’s deadline I see
Until when I’m gonna be
As busy as a bee

To be young, is to be little and be elderly,
Is to carry all the weights put upon me,
And daydreaming continuously,
Is what means to be young.

Pressures push me to the side,
But I believe they'll do me right,
I'll have to take me as I am,
And do the best with me I can.

Old is old, rust is rust,
But young is old, and rust is gold.
I'm still a naive small being,
And responsibilities are towering in front of me.

Hope to grow, and hope to show,
I'll stay ambitious, won't stand low,
It takes one big breath and one take,
The best outcome is my own stake.