I fell in love
With the
Kind part
Of you,

The one
That would make sure everyone
Was Okay,
Even though you were not,


I fell in love
With the
Brave side
Of you,

The one
That did things,
Without a care in the world;
About what others thought of you.

I fell in love
With the
Loyalty piece
Of you,

The one
That stood up,
For the people you love the most,
Even though you were the one who needed someone to stand up for you,

You did
All of that,
Without knowing what others thought of you,
And you chose,

And you chose
To let it go,
To let it fade,
A piece buried.

I used to love
The broken soul
You once had,
Because you were kind, brave, and full of loyalty.

Now it’s faded,
And you don’t care,
You thought someone was not out there for you,
But I am... I was,

Until you let it fade,
Until you chose to go;
In your place is someone
That I don’t know.

I fell out of love
With the
Dishonest
Side of you,

The one
That lied
About anything
To friends and teachers.

I fell out of love
With the
Lazy
Part of you,

The one
That didn’t care
For the dreams
You once had.

I fell out of love
With the
Rude
Piece of you,

The one,
Who talks
Over someone
Telling an awesome story.

I don’t know anymore
Whether I love you or not,
But I do know that the person
You once were is faded and is never coming back.

You may have lost your soulmate,
I may have been her,
But I don’t care,
You lost your chance,

Now you are
Someone I don’t know; Don’t love
You were
Someone I used to know; Used to love

We were none the wiser, I shopped the stalls,
for bread, for father was treating us to a
                                                                ­­          luxury.

He'd been offered overtime, and we didn't have it
      very often. But he knew we were down, and hungry.

Feeling the earth move, the gods were either hungry,
                                       like our empty stomachs.
Or they were punishing us for not giving enough praise
                                             for there gestures of kindness..

We heard the rumbling of Vesuvius, like an empty belly
                                                       rumbling for worth.

Then we heard the screams, as the mountain spat its
anger towards us, we had no where to run.

To hide from the mountains anger was futile.
             We huddled together,

praying to our gods


for salvation..

But our plea's  were unheard,
   had we put our faith in the wrong god!!!


Hearing the dark snow fall like pebbles and then the
                      ash of concealment.

Suffocating in our prays, we huddled tighter than
             life's last breath... and then we
            were like statues
frozen in a moment of futility...

A once flourishing moment, buried in times
                   concealment.

We were found, shells of our former selves,
                  huddled in eternity a love.

Fossilised in a last moment,
           telling the future we died together,

a moment of love shown through the ages...

People always ask me
             how do I stay calm,

I tell them, that I send a snapchat
            of a shallow grave,

          saying

                          #Wish you were here,

And for some reason,
                 there not annoying anymore.

Where have I been?
Why have NOT I been here?

It's a reason,
an answer,
not simple or clear

Pause and stop for a moment
and try to explain
as I drift off into
the expanse of my brain

Sort of been in a lull
Kind of stuck in a rut
No ambition; desire
Don't want to do much
I’ve been lacking consistency;
without consensus
Once driven and disciplined
Vanished; off they went

Some time I’ve chased after
without much success
If by chance I recaptured;
escaped and they left
Once entrenched qualities;
have transformed into bubbles
Their memories -
a dream
As my life turns to rubble

A child I am
chasing frantically after
while further each drifts
out of reach
as they scatter

Ask,
"Where have I been?"
More like,
"Where am I now?"
‘Cause I live in a world
with a hovering shroud

No persistence of rain
More an absence of sun
There's no presence of pain
But is vacant of fun
Putting paper with pen
Situation is clear
Like a therapy session
Pull curtain;
I peer

Psychotherapy works
Hidden things can appear
Driven crazy;
berserk,
like a ship you can't steer

A continuous game,
one that can not be won
Somewhat hard to explain
Like a program that's run

Piece of clothing that's stained
Been there since time begun
And no way to contain
The past can't be undone
Pulling at it you tear
to remove all the faults
but you never get near;
locked away in the vault

Bang away at the door
Combination is lost
Feel despondent,
defeated,
and just at a loss
Where you give up all hope
There’s no way you can win
Sinking down to the bottom
It ends and begins…

-
-
-

Here alone in the darkness,
at first, you’re afraid
and wallow in pity
this “mess” you have made

While confined in a box
It’s a self-given coffin;
recluse who’s closed off
Made a space can’t get lost in

You wither and rot
in this counterfeit grave
Also, time to reflect
on the choices you’ve made

Loneliness not a friend;
Solitude can be one
Introspective -
a teacher
A valuable one

Near impossible to
fix what can not be seen
Not the visible lines
but what’s hidden between
Archaeologist digging
deep down in the dirt
Resurrecting the fossils
of buried down hurt

Everyone has a closet
with skeletons in
They are not all the same
in their size or within
But ignoring and locking away never works
You must get your hands *****
and dig in the dirt

Facing demons or sitting in darkness for most
conjures feelings of horror
like seeing a ghost
Though denial feels warm
like it might be a friend
Just like 'Brute',
it stabs in the back in the end

So, if life’s got you down
then it’s time to get up
I’m not saying it’s easy
Dig down and get tough
It is known that the night’s
darkest right before dawn
In the moment you’re weakest
you’ll soon become strong

Like a pendulum swing
or the changing of seasons
When pushed to extreme
then it just goes to reason
A rebounding force
very soon will attack
And all battle ground lost;
rightfully taken back

When you’ve given up hope;
just about to give in
At the end of your rope
Feel it’s time to say “when”
Meditate into silence;
cut everything out
Hear that voice from inside
with a WARRIOR shout!

If you listen
the universe will direct you
It has knowledge
and one
most important of clues
Like the phase of the moon
or the flow of the tides
there’s a cyclical pattern
all things must abide

When the mountain top’s reached,
one can only go down
You can swim at the beach
or give up
and then drown

Everything ebbs and flows
It’s the nature of all
So remember this lesson
when you’re feeling small

When that final point’s reached,
only one way to go
Now get back on your feet!
With this knowledge
you know
You will be hurt no more
‘cause that time’s "come and gone"
In the darkness no more

Now it’s time for the dawn!

Our days roll away like dropped coins.
Individual moments are continually lost,
Often never to be reflected upon again.
But the epochs of a full life remain,
Safeguarded by the cushions of our couch,
Waiting for when we are in need of a treat.

The dream wasn't for me
Like a window shopper
Peeking through the glass
Six feet away, desperately
Even if I reach out,
I'll never be able to touch
There's nothing I can do
Nothing will ever come true

The dream wasn't for me
When I dreamt it, I doubted it
And when I thought I'll have it
It slipped past me
Now I'm left with beers
Some broken hopes scattered
And worries and fears

The dream wasn't for me
I won't ever dream about it
Again and again it would come
Again and again I'll wake up
Some things are meant for others
But definitely not for me

I want to lay down
In a bed of flowers
Walk into the woods
Dig into the earth, barefoot
I want to lay down
And see the trees
Reaching out their arms
Sheltering me
Let my body still
Blossoms tickling my cheeks