I'm about to burst;
It's getting worst;
But they're here;
I'm trying to endure;
I'll shed all these tears,
Later.

Winter Song

This is my enchanted winter song
The days of fall are all long gone
A winter song my heart's desire
Through the ice lies a blazing fire
Winter always has a place in my heart
One day the falling snowflakes will part
Mother Nature's blanket of snow on the land
Left behind the footprints of beast and man

Chorus:As the arctic wind whistles my winter song
Telling me we all have the need to belong

In the winter days of ice and of snow
Pray the winter spirit continues to grow
My Lonely heart lays frozen in time
The winter spirit lives in this soul of mine
Maybe love will bloom in this heart divine
Caressed by love and the winter sunshine
Winter days short and winter nights long
But within my frozen heart I sing this song

Chorus:As the arctic wind whistles my winter song
Telling me we all have the need to belong

To see the falling of the first snowflakes
My very breath the winter wind takes
As the winter blue jay comes to land
Painting a picture by God's loving hand
With the blue jay singing my winter song
Tells me that hope for love is never gone

Chorus:As the arctic wind whistles my winter song
Telling me we all have the need to belong

By Gary Edward Allen 2021

One star from the innumerable has fallen
But I will not let it die
The beauty and the memory shall not depart
In mine heart will it dine  
The seed has fallen from the sky
And my tears have watered the ground in which it will root
The soil is fertile now
And everything you have planted in me will surely grow

sometimes i read my poems to find the person behind all these lucid dreams
but i get lost in the secondhand smoke of all these apologies
getting high on delusional compromises

maybe theres nobody there, maybe there never was

but i can see your eyes through the sticky haze, made of sky and ecstacy
they look through me, seeing the worlds i gave to you
worshippers kiss all the skin i used to

but its my name on their lips

i am lying on my stomach
after having spent hours propped up on my elbows
spent hours reading, sunbathing
spent hours getting drunk and tired in the sun
i am outside our new chicago home
in a courtyard belonging to only us

i am sprawled on the transparent blue plastic of my past
the cerulean beach chair that never made it to a single beach.
its plastic wound and woven around the metal
like nothing i’ve ever seen before

and i fall asleep

and i’m awakened by the raindrops on the low of my bare back

but it is not raining

and i wake up naked, inside, in your arms as you tap out a tune on me

and the blue chair that we put in the shower
when my brother was too weak to stand
because my brother was too weak to stand
is nowhere to be found
even when he went to live in the hospital
that chair
gathered rust
in a closed, dripping shower

we threw it out
it reminded us of a hard time
he was our only surviving souvenir  

i miss the chair
and i miss the person he was before it all
before he gathered all this rust

I’m in free fall
With my feelings
Letting my emotions run amok

When I think about you
I can’t help myself to wonder
If you’ll ever love me back

I tried so hard to open up to you
I know none of it was ever your fault
You assure me that you’ll be here for me
But the chaos inside my world
Won’t accept you,
Even from afar

This state of entropy
Is all I have at the moment
While my world has turned to blue
But please have faith in me
Because the tides will turn soon

If i just have the courage
then i wouldn't waste any ink,
To tell the world im in blue
in a blink.
If only i can speak and shout---
then mortals will know
im in pain with no doubt.