Why is it untitled? Because I haven't a clue what to call it.
I never thought I'd be doing this. I never thought I'd be so elated and relaxed.
I had only wished I would make it this far.
I had only wanted to go unnoticed.
Fitting in was all I was about, but I realised it was really about understanding and getting to know yourself better.

the days of feeling unappreciated had  come to an end.
It was all about me now.
Where I was going and how I was going to get there..

I anointed you with the essence
of my deepest love,
my  very being was poured into
your ultimate happiness.

My burning desire was for you
to be exalted to your best,
to be in a realm where you could
surpass mere mediocrity.

Where you could encompass the
totality of unending intensity,
feel the burning emotions
etching your heart and mind.

I afforded you more
than the Lion’s share!
With  me, you could have
walked taller than any man!

As I feel my mind romp
Ceaselessly into the past
I twitch to it's sight
And I know I'm scared
All my happy thoughts
Are interrupted by obscure memories
Dark, grey flashbacks
Reminding me that I'm chained
To a world of immense pain

Helpless and crushed
I seek a permanent solution
I attempt to find peace
In what the world offers me
Indirectly, I'm sitting upon
Invisible dough of deceit
Concealing it's strategy to defeat me
Reminding me that I'm chained
To a world of immense pain

The chains are visible now
A keyhole appears in clear view
The more I allow fear in my thoughts
The more the keyhole diminishes
So I give my first shot at faith
Believing first, forget seeing
The master key to save me
Reminding me that I'm free
From a world of immense pain

So I've drawn up my conclusion:
I choose believing over seeing
That my inner heart be wholly converted
Than my eyes merely convinced.
For everything I see tells me not to believe
And everything I believe tells me not to see
The two contradict each other
So what do I choose?
Faith over fears
I'd rather believe then give into my tears.

I am a wanderer,
Searching for the somewheres,
In the middle of nowhere,
Taking in everywhere,
Entranced by anywhere,
Believing in whats never there,
Wishing I was elsewhere.

"So I choose believing over seeing. That my heart be wholly converted than my eyes merely convinced."
- Towela Kams

I feel something is missing,
Or lost, did I have it in the beginning?
I can't be succeeding, this feeling certainly isn't winning,
And even my grinning must come at a cost,
I've not paid the piper as such, but when he arrives he'll leave and take the lot,
Everything I've got is at stake,
Make no mistake, I take the hate seriously and leave my soul as bait,
But I can't relate to the feeling of calm,
Sweat holds my palm and leads my arm to the hot pool of harm,
This is no yarn I spin only the wheel,
The chain holds my heel keeping the steps from stepping on what's real.
It's time to heal but what is lost I've not found,
My flesh torn by hells hound, the paw pounds upon the ground whilst the deserted town fails to sing.
Am I lost or just missing.

The day I met you, I fell right into your trap.
All your compliments, gifts, words-
All lies.
I shouldn't have believed anything.
I should've believed my friends.
Even though all my tears were because of you,
I can't stop wishing that you were still here,
right next to me.

I have the heart of a believer and the mind of a skeptic
Some say it's a gift, I say it's tragic
I live in a universe of chaos inside my head
Who among us is truly at peace but the dead?

You turn down the light,
you know it's time to go to bed.
Because dreading on this page
doesn't seem so worth it now.

You close those green eyes,
arms wrapped around
the letter against your heart.
Your life flashes back
like a little story in your head.
Wondering what happened
to that little boy.

We'll never know.

Tuck yourself closer
into these sheets.
Let the moon rise,
let the stars come out
into another restless night.

Let your mind slip away
under the pillow.
Let 'em run,
let 'em scream,
let 'em be free.
Because you know your better off
somewhere other than here.

Tucked into blue sheets,
knowing your sane
but everybody thinks otherwise.
Let them think what they want.

The demons come knocking
on your door
dressed in white.
I know you want to
push them away,
you don't want to do this
anymore.

Waking up to lies and lies again,
The more they talk,
the more you start
believing them.