Some people,
Unknown to those around them,
Isolate themselves from the world.
Causing them to have so many thoughts,
Ideas they can't control
Decisions running through their head.
Eventually, they decide it's easier to just, end it.

what's to replicate?
a feeling I can't forget?

along with trembling thoughts passing through
moments in my blues

with nothing to lose
there's everything to risk

no one beside me on this cruise
no one to take inside of my Louvre

meaning in some coordinates

a place I can't climb out of

adaption to create something in the current situation I'm in

elevating in time

touch the ground in the moment

here like I was before

Like I always will be

friends
those with whom we shared our stories
it’s time to farewell
i’m sorry

I’ve decided to seek the truth
So, I must stop the storytelling
We shared that amazing youth
That gave birth to my rebellion
Taught me how to be alright with being wrong
Showed me the ways, which I could belong

Smart goals and networks are not for me
My desire is abstract and unknown freedom
That exists nor in the city or in the family
But, surely, near those magic trees in edem
The core intention is to accumulate the vitality
Breaking through the walls of civil mentality

my final destination is the state of self
where all stuff sorted on the one shelf
where the body is a temple
spirit is a whole
nature is the teacher
and words are under control
where the only currency is energy
time is absolute
where the only possession is awareness
and love is a root

so, guys, our story ends
now,
death is my only friend

Now I know//
to move on from what it all used to mean//
the change of mind was a sudden switch of scenes//
never told me what I was, a narcissist that couldn’t see//
ever told you how I felt? there was nothing in between//

no matter what you do//
no matter what I do//
can’t forget about us two//
will stand up and yell the truth//
the only one in view//
but one I cannot reach//
I just sit and think in blue//
thoughts I can’t pursue//
they only make me feel bad for all the **** I *******//

the end of our romance//
periods of time to enhance//
I gave “me” a second chance//

I have seen broken glass at ice breakers
And dream paralysis for living dreams
The broken glass attempting to get stuck together
but being thrown away as if it was meant to stay in pieces
I have seen fulfilled nightmares and crippled wings just like how they would show a glorified warrior
I have seen wet bathroom floors, red sometimes, just as beautiful as the crimson sky and
I have seen google searches on why bleach and pills didn’t work just the way I have seen someone committed to get their promotion
I have seen blue and purple faces just as beautiful as Chantilly laced flowers,
Embracing themselves like roses even after being plucked – despite the pleading attempt of their thorns
I  have seen their rosy colour fade away as they struggle to show their best shade of red before they leave – because who likes disappointments?

And who likes putting back together someone else’s glass pieces right from scratch and you and I both know that even if it stuck it wouldn’t be the same again –
So it just melts itself to start all over again

And who likes seeing rotten shades of red, blue and purple when it’s easier to choose to see the glossy teary eyed side –
So we pretend everything is okay as we enjoy the sunrise

Those held thorns don’t like being appreciated but if you pluck their flower you’re leaving nothing behind but the dead corpse of an almost
But who likes to deal with the anger side of depression anyway?
So we just walk away, leaving the thorns un-watered to grow corpses of hatred

And of all the terribly glorified things I’ve seen
I’ve seen gladiators out of battlefields
Struggling with no weapons, fighting with themselves
I have seen children with fake smiles
Unused umbrellas in bags
I have seen attachment grow it’s roots all over to be simply cut by a scissor of betrayal

Of all the cracked ceilings and tight ropes,
Bridge edges and stoutly stiffened up hope,
Of the useless sharpeners and tiger prints on thighs
Crowded beaches drowning inside and sharpened nails all ready to fight
I’ve sat on quiet dinner tables where the only chewing sound is of the collapsing mind

I’ve seen friend lists filled only with acquaintances
And inboxes questioning their state
I’ve seen wrists smothered with concealers two shades lighter
And bags of eyes carrying weight heavier than that of broken dreams and flightless wings shrunk and grown tighter
I have seen fire burn bright of all the alcohol annihilate
And anger that can shake mountains with it legs tied together to a stingy abrupt volcano of abuse

And I have seen never ending nights
When blades are finally of no use

But who wants to talk about it unless its poetry anyway?