Love glows in my chest
Composes my very nature
Tests my every limit
Leaves me sleepless
Restless

I get quiet when I’m scared
Nervous, when I feel unprepared
I get anxious when I’m alone
Lonely, when I lose sight of myself;
Ungrounded
Far from home....

Do you know, how it is to feel like you’re ur being dragged down to the bottom of the ocean?

The sunlight slowly fading away as you sink deeper into the dark depth of the unknown?

The pressure of everything around you getting heavier and more painful as you’re r surrounded by complete darkness; you think maybe you could swim on your own.

But now it’s just black.

W.K

I don’t know what we are doing
I don’t know what we are calling it
I don’t know what I see months down the road for us
But I do know that when he looks at me he sets every single part of me on fire

the anguish
that never leaves my heart

bites my nails
and pulls my hair out

this anguish
one day might **** me

but maybe
just maybe

it already did it

Is the world-shaking, or is it just me?  
Sweaty palms,
Shortage of breaths.
Unease.

“Oh no, I feel like throwing up.”
I wish the world could pause right now,
Even if it would only last for a few seconds.
Few seconds is what I craved.

I canceled the plans with my girlfriends.
I canceled the staycation that was booked one and a half months ago.
I canceled the language class I was supposed to attend.
Parts of me was actually excited.

Until the thoughts started forming in my head,
Leaving me stuck.
I cried.
My friends asked me, “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

I’m thankful that she asked. However,
I wished those words would give me comfort.
I wished I could say something to answer those questions.
I wished I could put my emotions into words.

My friends said, “It’s okay. You will be fine.”
Will I?
Will I ever be okay?
It was as if I’m learning to breathe,
But the fact that I’m underwater.

there's this feeling in my stomach
  not like the sickness you feel when you have a stomach ache
or the butterflies of nervousness
  maybe this isn't in my stomach at all
it's like a bunch of deer running in a field
  but not gracefully
they're running from prey
  it feels as if my chest tightens as my stomach sinks
it's a mixture of anxiousness and worry

When you message

Your name appears

they see my smile

But inside... my chest, Tense


I attempt to inhale
The air thickens
My lungs like Stone...
Chilling to the Bone

Your Phone silent... Do you wonder why?

What do I say? What will be the conclusion?

Delusion?