My intuition used to keep me safe -
It used to sort my feelings in alignment with actions
My intuition used to save my associations.
Society locks away people that harbor justice within their intent
And the others simply dance away into the night.
When did my environment discover a new shape,
That which steals the form of a weapon that is legalized?
When did I betray myself and relinquish my grip on the handle
And when did I let the weapon choose my fate?
I bowed to the energy around me and decided to sink
But hell would not accept me.
Oh, how I wail for faith
How I long to understand why it abandoned me
And left me with choice.

Tell me about the things you do
And the things you've learned,
Let me try out your base experiences.
It won't unravel you,
They won't admit of your adversities;

And they won't bring me closer to the 'why,'
But by learning the things you've learned
I may feel some excitement and all other emotions around it
Similar to what you've felt -
And these feelings may be different, I know
But from what I DO know about you
I just might be able to feel something adjacent

And there won't be a need for you to be anxious about words,
You wouldn't need to fight so hard to release yourself to me
You will already be free, and I would be found by you.

Fainting desperately into nothing
I found my something
Aboard a train cross-country
But I was surely running
Away from myself and that horrible reality I realized
Triangles and circles
Spelling out my future before my eyes
Like a puzzle I did not have to decide-
The pieces fell into place
In their own pace
Handless mindless motions
Mona Lisa smiled at me
All astrology gazed down for me
Finding me on my righteous path to glory
And the moon willed itself
As my godmother
It’s true ancestor, gleaming
Heart outstandingly beating
I, it’s horrible hot-minded child-
Only a teen, yet it knew me all at once
And accepted me
For who I really was.
My past rewrote itself
My present formed:
No tears, no mistakes
The world helped me find my rightful place
Amongst all the other familiar faces
I could see myself in a crowd of millions, billions
Differentiable at long last
Even better, if only I could find that one person to hold tight
And taint with my loving grasp.