Tonight i sat in the dark for a bit.
(A moment of silence if you will.)
Holding a taper candle, staring into its flame.
At first, for a bit, i was worried about candle wax dripping down and spilling over my hands and onto either my bedsheets or the carpet.
(Can hot candlewax start a fire?
And then i thought to myself,
If something happens ill catch it before it gets too bad. Ill feel the pain and it will remind me that i am alive.
That i am lucky.
That i can still feel things.
The candlewax did not spill or drip at all.
(Did you know they make candles like that??
Now, a bit disappointed, i thought,
"What a sediment"
I took the candle into my right hand.
Oh, so carefully,
I tilted the candle holding the flame over my right wrist.
The pain stopped as soon as it came.
One for me.
As i shifted the candle to my left hand,
"This is for you.
And all the pain you felt.
And that i didnt know about."
"This is my proof that i would have tried if i had known."
One for you.
I didnt even ******* know you very well.
We werent really even friends.
I dont know how to spell your name.
Its too bad.
Its so sad.
Way too ******* sad.
Hi again, i am still alive, yes.