Tonight i sat in the dark for a bit.
(A moment of silence if you will.)
Holding a taper candle, staring into its flame.

At first, for a bit, i was worried about candle wax dripping down and spilling over my hands and onto either my bedsheets or the carpet.
(Can hot candlewax start a fire?
Surely not.
Right?)
And then i thought to myself,
"**** it."
If something happens ill catch it before it gets too bad. Ill feel the pain and it will remind me that i am alive.
That i am lucky.
That i can still feel things.

The candlewax did not spill or drip at all.
(Did you know they make candles like that??
Magic.)

Now, a bit disappointed, i thought,
"What a sediment"

I took the candle into my right hand.
Oh, so carefully,
I tilted the candle holding the flame over my right wrist.
One drop.
I flinched.

The pain stopped as soon as it came.

One for me.


I thought,

As i shifted the candle to my left hand,

"This is for you.
And all the pain you felt.
And that i didnt know about."

"This is my proof that i would have tried if i had known."

One for you.



I didnt even ******* know you very well.

We werent really even friends.

I dont know how to spell your name.

And still


Its too bad.

Its so sad.

Way too ******* sad.