I have to go and I’m Inn deep

Stall in the middle for once

The girl next to me

Came after me twice

She sneezed

Bless you

I can *** now

Comfortable

She sneezed again

Bless you twice

I’m closing my tab

Riding home

But walking sometimes

I’m, “Great, thank you”
In the cab tonight
Eyes in the review
Notices I’m tight
Pass it by
Pass it by
On the way
There you are
On your breaks

Of all the nooks
in this old ship of a house
nestled deep in the flora
I’ve just settled into
my favorite are the stairs
eleven birch, worn in and wide
lighting the way with whiteness
seashells down both sides

You can enter two ways
this maze of gates and doors
bamboo and wind chimes
I find my tall self a symphony
coming home from underdock
or the inn or the shack
sometimes the truth of home
becomes a matter of fact

Routines become life
more raw than old rope
a cup of coffee of course
a cigarette on the porch
the american flag everyone has
familiarity finds the cats too
wandering furry neighbors
this barrier zoo

I dreamed of your lips
Your lips at his apartment
My dreams get me through

I missed the train this morning
All because I was *****

****** in, ****** out
Without a doubt

You came without a warning

Time bomb playing in the background
All my friends trying to get found
We dance and laugh to make this world real
Lovers in friends I want to feel

Sandy Mandy and Andy

Walk through the boardwalk.

Stars in their eyes

They laugh more than talk.

I am the moment

the air hits the sea.

He told me he loves me

I’m lovable

He can see.

His head finds my shoulder

Long hair a mess

His lips find mine, older.

At the bar again,

his arms around my neck

Love me if you can.

If you can't I understand

I'm happy and carefree

I wonder though

who if not me?

I am alone tonight, and mostly every night

I take myself to dinner and I sit at the bar

If the wine is good I try slyly to get myself drunk

I, myself, am easier to take home that way

Do you think I’m lost?
Like I can’t survive on my own.
Who will take care of me?
The wind, the sea, my home.

Bobby
Bobby
Bobby
Bobby
Bobby
Bobby
Bobby

I need you, I cannot be in this life without you.

neighbor neighbor

so far from my reach

passing each other by

bike riding on streets



you’re late he yells

speed racing to town

blissfully denying

I am waiting around



at the silent disco

we dance with no words

neighbors sitting

along the same curb



the barbecue came

I chose to get drunk

curing my curiosity

sweet coconut ***



on Independence Day

I had stars all over

cherry lollipop dreams

he in stripes under cover



his feet played with mine

in the cyan pool

will I make it out alive

if I cannot play it cool

Red
Brown planks
Scrape against me
Red

Yellow
Big drops
High tides
Yellow

Green
Baby vert
To the beat
Green

I used to be a hot mess,
now I’m just a beautiful disaster.

A brush against him was no match for exhaustion,

so I drifted til morning.

A surge of passion pushing us awake,

morning light streaked through blinds.

A warm slumber for hot skin,

drop for drop, I would waste not a drip.

With senses piqued, my ears bleed.

Too aware of my room to

fall tirelessly through sheets.

3:13 AM.

Does the insecurity ever fade,
or does it hide in the shadow
of my bones eternally?

Does the pain ever grow weary,
or does it nocturnally live
to seep over me indefinitely?

Swing your ores through choppy water and dig yourself away from me until you can no longer see my chaos.

When I am a speck on the horizon, turn into yourself to seek bigger storms who will never come.

Finally you’re back
This familiar feeling
Of disconnection
Am I in love
With the man who
Calls me baby

You hold my gaze for five,
I’m not toying back.

"Are you seeing someone?"
"Yes, is that okay?"

Why baby, why?
"Leave her for me," I want to say.

But I don’t.
Girls rule.

All the things I thought could be

Are now things I know never will be

The time not talking to you will be

Time talking to me

Two years haunting me
Waiting to dive into your eyes
Crisp blue reaching depths
Magnetized with softness

Soft eyes, soft hands
With a caged heart
For once it feels like home
Arms of the oldest oak

Display for me miles of depth
Wrap all around me
Warm and fluid and safe
Wrap me wrist to ankle

Kiss and hug
The me you haven’t seen
Tenderly feeling your skin
My largest ocean I had wade in

Flippant splashes glint through
A robins egg marbled world
I reach when I have peace
Running valleys through your sand

Objectified
All this life
I can’t tell
Real from fake
Love from lust
It’s the same
To my soul

Multimillion dollar diamonds are objects too

He runs and runs away from me
Darting his course with that wide grin
"This is moving so fast," he says
We stop to catch our breaths

He woke me up the night
I had my first bath at his
"Come to the park baby girl,
Let’s drink champagne"

The way I fit into him
Walking west into hunter
I feared for nothing
Little in the park at dark

Giggling at the dirt in my loafers
Scaling each hill to roll down
Only to go higher for a faster fall
Chasing him

Boomerang lips back again
And again and again
"Come in the truck old man
Let’s fall in love"

Suddenly I realize I am ******
I actually like the smoke
That eclipses from the ****
Through my lungs
Makes me think
I actually like the smoke

How do I feel? SAD!
How do I feel it? ALWAYS!
When do I want it to end? NOW!

Meow
He said

Meow
She heard
Marquise eyes
For everyone’s purr

What is it to show you myself,
Exposed to you time
And time again
Yet you have never seen me ****

In the crevice of my heartbeat
The dermis of my soul
My true ******
Uncovered to only me

soft kisses up his cheek

to say goodbye

leaving him in slumber

meeting at the bakery

soft kisses up his cheek

to say hello

meeting with my lover

coffee

coffee

him and me

coffee

You live in all of the corners
Of my mind where I dream
To have it all together
To dream to have it all
To dream together
At all
To dream

I am the moon

lofty in darkness, mysterious.

Tell me all your dreams,

dance with me.

You are the sun

bright and warm, cheery.

Let me smile with closed eyes,

bask in you.

A world away

people and places, things.

I see you often,

in the dawn of light.

I thought I loved you

but I am tied to earth

and earth

is tied to you.

Is it possible
that I dream of you
in all of the ways
I dream of love?

Gushing as you sleep
waking to steal a peek
between sheets,
our secrecy.

I roll over to see you
after a long sleep
grey eyes if you knew
what I see
I blink closer and open
you feel a freak
her body soaking into
your skin sea
gold flecked horizon
warm shoulders to a crisp
rolling wave turns on
crashing into me

I live with the feeling
emanating from
the pit of my gut
coats every hair
every surface
of my being.
Right out west
the city buzzes
fluttering up
your ear slopes
distracting your interest.
The adoration in me
is only matched
by full gushes of
wondering how you resist
engulfing me.