It hits you like a swing of a bat
Like your first kiss
The recurring dream, night sweats
You're walking down the road
Smiling because you just got paid
Or laid or new jeans, new book so on
Happiness is what you feel, you think
It's actually a dormant mind
Free from the anxiety and impatience
That a conscious mind fights everyday
It's closed eyes, it's bed time stories
You don't feel it when your young
The older we get, further into the cave
We came from the waters
To dry land seeking food
But all we found was the poison
Of working, insanity with love,
Long minds, shorts perception
And this, this morning ritual to keep
So bathe together, drink whiskey
Stare deeply into another mind
Because baby when this is over
They don't serve pain there

Black hole in the bed
Winter is the metaphysical
Car lights and tall trees
Anger in her finger tips
Holding the glass of warm blood
That she took from a store
With no name, just a man
A man with a long grey beard
Telling the same story
Of summer in '78
When he rode his bike down
To the water hole, dead fish & toads
Escaping his father with a bat
Thinking of being all alone

He sailed his boat along the shore
Sipping tequila from a canteen
He had no shirt, no where to go
His home covered 2/3 of the world
This boat was his only possession
Didn't know how to play the guitar
He played his songs every day
Picking up coconuts off the sandy beach
Dreaming of a woman in white sheets

She rolled around all morning
Soft linen sheets, sun rising
an open window, blinds open
Living room bright,
Kitchen still clean
The breeze got her face
Rolling around, carrying her dreams
Empty bottle of wine from last night
Not a care in the world
Unapologetically being herself
Only thinking of music & soft skin
She enjoys a morning, early and calm
Exercising her mind for what's next
A sudden knock on a door
Two big brown eyes, her pupils expand

My eyes shut,
I know I am dreaming
The body goes senseless
It's the nerves still aching
19 Years of punishment
And, I do not sleep
Not like anyone else does
Sleep is turning off the lights
I don't know if my body knows
That it never gets rest, or solace
We are stuck here together
Everything is so loud,
Yet nothing makes any noise
It feels good to be frightened
**** sleeping, and to hell with
Expectations and white wine

Nothing ever returns to normal
It always moves forward
Things always change
Nothing returns to the ways
Things used to or not used to be
You're a kid running down the stairs
Then, you buy a nice coat
Then, a phone rings
And then, then you'll answer a call

Her eyes
Were,
Heavy
And ready
To
****

You wake up and it's different
You've felt like this before
But something is different
You have the best feeling
In the world, you smile even
There's something different
Now, the feeling you had,
As the water hits your back,
So warm, so welcoming,
Is followed by the worst feeling
It's time to get off the Ferris Wheel
It's coming back around
You're a few seats back
The conductor eyes you
It got cold quickly
Time to go play
In a themed park

It starts by accepting it
With a gaze in your eyes
Moves in slowly, a kiss
Starting at the corner of
Your top right lip
You shut your eyes
Another kiss on the
Inside of a cheek, near the nose
Then, moves to your closed eye
When you get goosebumps
The hand slowly slips off
A strap of the shirt
Striking at your neck with
A gentle and wild kiss
Pressing on your back
Then a soft bite at your chin
You open your eyes
Now a fire has begun
The two souls link back
At the center of the eyes
They are shut again
And it begins,
The long, tender, passionate kiss
The soul is now undressed

We all should be in the company
Of beauty, of all kinds
Women are art in the form of beings
Those filled with fire,
With a soul that burns and burns
The ones who turn into music
Those who paint in dreams
Till the sun comes up
Telling stories with their movement
Dancing to the sound of the wind
Beauty & intelligence & the love of life
All in one, laying on the sand
Feeding on the wonders of the world
Capturing passion through the eyes
As the water floats over their skin
Sing to me, sing to me

If you've felt the floor
At the bottom of your cave
After falling 40 feet
Blood across your lips
Body slammed across
The field of rocks and dirt
Unable to move
Days go by slower
All you can hear are screams
As you shut your eyes
If you've been there, my friend
You've felt the thirst
Which nothing can tame
It's in the air at night
In your bones at light
The eyes are majestic
The feeling is soft
And your veins are cold
It is all you want
To reach out and take it
Ravage it over and over
As it asks for more
******* out the life
And breathing into yours
It drives you mad with frenzy!
Rushing all over your body
And you can't stop till
You've had enough
Floating away with the waves
Waiting to come back for more

She howled late at night
Whispering secrets to me
Through the winds
Eyes glowed in the dark
The blanket of light above
Pitch black 5 feet away
Up close, all too real
It's cold tonight, I thought
Whiskey in the fire
A table full of dreams
A book shelf of the dead
A wild path in the rain
Even the river we will cross
With bare feet and sore eyes
Becoming part of her
Becoming part of it all

There is a lot that happens
Throughout the lifetime of a day
24 complete hours of life
Wake up daily, move forward
Know that change is occurring
One afternoon you'll look back
See the last 5 years, changed
You might feel like day to day
Seems the same
The job, apartment, drinks, women
All change, eventually, inevitably
Don't think for one second
That change won't come
It always comes, so work for it
Stay in front of change
You can create change
By moving forward,
Remembering everyday will not last
That change is everywhere

We know for a fact
That nothing lasts forever
Forever does not exist
I don't even think we can
Understand the concept
Of "Forever"
Things come and leave
Today is already tomorrow
Love burns out
Ashes of sorrow remain
We know life isn't lengthy
One idea comes,
Another gets forgotten
We are only humans
Specs of dust to the universe
This alone, Should be the wave
Underneath us everyday
Pushing us forward
Giving us the control, discipline
To not be allowed to be
Brought down by minuscule trivialities  
So why stop?
Move forward, through "it"
Whatever "it" is in your life
Because no matter what it'll come to an end
So might as well get through "it" yourself
Unapologetic and complete

It has been a very long time
I miss your skin, your eyes
The wild soul you carried always
I asked how you were
I told you I still wander
I wanted to say that
I had fallen in love with you
But I knew not what it meant
For me, for you, for us
I didn't understand anything,
Inside the storm which controls me
I know this only because
I still think about your hair
Floating with a soft breeze
Everything around me is quiet,
When my eyes are shut
The glow in your eyes
The tone of your voice
The tender touch of your lips
I hope you are well, my dear friend

There is a desperation
In the eyes of a certain few
Who know this is it
This blink of an eye in time
And after that, that's it
The eyes tell it all
The stories the storms
The winters the secrets
The whiskey the memories
Those eyes man,
They see the end of time
From books they know the past
And from their soul they have today
Tomorrow comes so fast
When you know the clock ticks
Tick tock tick tock
This is all we have and we know it
A desperation so pure
The desperation to live
To live and to forget about dying

Rain falls upon the cement floor
The mountains huddle in the background
What a scenic morning today had been
The bedroom was so cold
And she laid there peacefully
I lifted myself out of bed
Carrying the weight of my sadness
It was heavier than expected today
One thought lingered,
"Should I give in?"
I showered, I dressed, and I drove away

There's a feeling some music
Gives a person in the morning
Driving to work or grabbing coffee
Early before the sun , naked
In their kitchen, in the mess
Last night was a long one, they whisper
It's the music that makes you feel -
When you close your eyes,
Singing along with your heart,
As if you had just walked into
A room full of old friends & new ones
They cheer as you walk in
Because it's been a while this time
But you haven't skipped a beat
The music plays louder in your head
You start moving them shoulders
The headache isn't so bad anymore
-You take a look of the view outside-
They 're all happy to see you
The music gets even louder now
So you scream aloud, "Oooh OOooh!"
"Oohh ohh ohhh ohhh"
You throw around the stones
And nobody gets hurt, so you dance on
Taking in the misery, glory, and truth
They all hold up their glass in anticipation
She comes up to you with a smile,
"Oh baby why you wait so long?"
You take a look around your place
Realizing how many memories we got
****, it ain't gonna hurt too bad

We must've spun around about 78 times
The morning was a majestic disaster
Broken glass on the floor,
Paired with fallen curtains,
Scattered reading material,
Chocolate wrappers all over the rug

There was a sense of expired enjoyment
All over the living room
My eyes were all beat up
And the pain laid quietly beneath them

There was a tremble in my hands
All I could think about was
The window that doesn't open
Sean Daley's depression as a happy mess
Knowing today needed a mute button

I want to pull on your hair
And ravish you
And leave you for dead
In a pool of your satisfaction
Waiting for my next drive over
She had left a fresh painting out
Next to a bottle of whiskey,
Old morals, and a ticking clock

I never know what to do
Or even what to say
When we talk death;
Somebody shares
With someone else
That the life of another
Has been taken away
They bow their head
They give their hand

I see them,
Those in mourning
Their eyes are filled
With memories they once
Shared with the departed
Trying to hold onto it
Trying to remember more
And more and more and more
The pain builds up
But the tear must drop
And it will splash forever

As the water hit my back
The sun hit her face
It had been a long night,
The dawn was quiet
We showered together
After our passionate morning
And she washed my hair
And I drank my beer
We were undistracted
I wanted to say I love you too
But I could not ruin the moment

She was leaving a certain life
That she had felt separated from
Her eyes opened in the dark

I was going though a progressive,
Introspective, and very transitional
Period in my own life
She was a great counterpart to it
It was easy to get along
I was very much going mad,
She was open to that type of wildness
Interested in the "unknown",
I was mysterious to her
My relentless need to feel alive
Drew in her curiosity
I was a mad man, I cursed
I was violent towards my fellow man,
I was a wounded bear
Yet, she keep me straight and near
On many of long days and nights together,
We always moved forward -
Always climbed each mountain
Always crossed each river
I drove our train 'round the bend
And she had trusted in our direction
We must've kept one another alive!
The *** was passionate, the nights were
Brimming with life, as the whiskey flowed
I fed off her as she fed off us
We were always, hunting & attaining as one

Once a man has gone mad
He will always be a mad man
His insanity will be pure
At times, intolerable
His lust will be severe
But it will drop on your lips
Asking for a taste
And he will show you
Life and death,
And everything exciting & tragic,
In between

I'm swimming through my mess of
Past and current afflictions
A sea of devils and unorderly behavior
Chaos and whiskey and ominous eyes
I swim towards a better place
A better man, a better view
A view of silence and peace
And a soft woman to wash me after
I hunt the wild red deer in the night
And we mate wilder than
The night and the sun and the moon
And the stars and ocean above

My feet swayed back and forth
Back and forth as I sat on the edge
Of this cliff, the waves came in slowly
And the sound of the ocean below
Gave me serenity and I was okay
(bolt of lightning striking my body)
I opened my eyes, I was in bed
I ached badly all over
I felt like I had jumped out
Of a moving vehicle and survived
And crawled home
The pain was agonizing
I wasn't on the cliff anymore
I was home alone and almost 30
And perversely hungover
I was ******
I hear insurance goes up at 30

I want to dance with the devil
On a warm sandy beach
While the sun sets below the ocean
Getting drunk off pure happiness
As he tells me his secrets
And I tell him mine
We can create our own thoughts
Down here, there's plenty of silence
With trees of life and *** and freedom

I am going
Straight
To hell
Any induction
Process occurring,
At the time
I happen to arrive,
I fear
Will be interrupted
Just to be sure
I make it in okay.
After realizing this
The present
Wasn't so bad,
And I always
Carried a smile
With me.

Look outside when you read this.

Let's scream from a hill,
It's your life that's on the line
Nobody can pay for the "future"
It's not a guaranteed luxury
There is nobody who life owes
I know today isn't the best
And tomorrow is a cup of whiskey
So, right now, for me it's this;
I want beauty in my sight, always
Now, not the flip through tv channels
Non-substantial beauty most need
I'm talking about different beauty
Beauty like James Browns' voice
The beauty of the strong helping the weak
The man who is considerate to man
The woman carrying her child
The rich aiding the ones in need
The beauty when loving someone
Is more that grouped words
But making sure their lover is warm
The beauty you feel when
The hopeless fight for hope
When nobody else will believe them
Beauty, when a man gives his hand
Even when the world eats their flesh
The beauty in the eyes of fathers
When we know our sons future
Will be a battle they won't see
But we will have the story to tell them

The beauty miles away or feet away
Of the strong who help those
When then have nothing themselves
Except their good hearts.

Let your mind unwrap
After the long day
Under the trees
As the sun sets
Leaving all the lies
Remembering the truths
That the world hides
And you are not scared
And you sing a song
And you're in a different place

It's been a million miles
Hundreds of long nights
And now we've crossed the desert
We have beat the devil, at his game
It's time for us to be us
Uninhibited and insane and free

One door swings open
Another face walks in
The street cars move along
And the wooden counter
Sets the playing field
For this *** and lime juice
I walked here in the heat
And I hear only voices behind me
But nobody says a word
And I sit at the York on York Blvd
Staring across at the closed doors
Of some old building that nobody
Remembered to keep open
Only the screaming man
Who holds the key to its past
Sneaks in at night to pray
During the afternoon light,
As a beautiful muse makes her future
We all are allowed to forget
Man, it's ******* hot today

It is a weight I walk with
Even when the sky is blue
I can not look up

In the bubble life wraps you in
You're stuck with a desperation
Between the fruits of life,
And a struggle to stay awake
To live, to love, to enjoy
The weight blinds you
It takes over your body
And forces you to walk
Looking at everything you posses
And whispers, "Not yet."

nothing
nothing
nothing
nothing
nothing
nothing nothing nothing nothing
beer and ice cream

Let's get lost in the soul of the world
Our world, this life
Everything has got soul
Baby, whether we feel it or not
It's there, trying to live
Just like us
Just like us

She still had tears in her eyes
Her eldest son, Max, just passed
He had an overdose on July 5th
This woman held in real pain
I don't doubt her for a second
She is old, burnt, mad
Her madness is pure, pure madness
She tells me her stories
And I sit there, hungover
Looking into those tearey eyes
She elaborates her stories
Wou her motion as she sweeps
"He chased me yesterday!
It was real, I knew it
Even if it didn't happen, it was real
The man loves under the budge that
Connects one building to another
I think she said she might have scared him
Maybe he thought she was real too
"I ran into the street screaming!!"
I'm at the edge of my seat.
The police have her ****,
"Historical" she says, well of course
Wouldn't you be too if you got chased
The man under the bridge
The second floor custodian
I was all too real

The A/C was on real loud
Los Angeles had hit 99 degrees
My apartment was clean,
I sat naked and looked out
Towards the clouds of ash
Canyon country was burning up
And I was combating both
Heat and hangover with green tea
Along with ice cold water
I sat here trying to relive
Some discussions I had the week prior
About time and space and everything
In between, and it just made my
Head ache more than before
Trying to tame a wild mind
Felt like riding a bull
For more than 8 seconds
But I've made it this far today
*******, my aches

The old Chinese woman just sat
She had ended her session
And went back to her seat
Older, confused, sexless
Why was she here?
I wanted to ask her why
But I rather examine her decisions
She fascinated me, just sitting
Like her mind was about to
Pass out gifts of reality
She'd probably had had a fast life
No English, No care to just sit
She probably had taken seats before
But back when the train was going
There is no city lights here,
No bars, no men on duty
No BBQ chicken, no fries
No pool halls till 3am
No dancing by the river
For her, she had lived
And her wheels in her mind
Kept looking for feathers to pluck
She sat looking at her phone
Never looking up or around
What was this ******* of experiences
Looking for in a Public Health building
I wish I had met her back when
She had much more to say,
Goodbye Heather.

The atmosphere today was ****
Los Angeles County Dept. of Public Health
Communicable disease cline SPA 4
Many of them didn't want to be here
Some didn't even know they were here
And myself, well, I'm on my 7th ****
5th bottle of water, 10th patient
My lunch was barely going down
No ****, just the fact
It' only 1p.m. here in LA LA LAND
Last time one of these crazy *****
Reached around my desk and called 9-1-1
I liked her, she had style
She said "SOMEBODY TRYNA **** MEH!"
What in the actual ****?
She had been the only one in the room
I felt her pain.

I am interested in matters
And IDEAS that took time to evolve
Into the creations that they are
The fascinations that took
Time to understand,
The **** with depth and mystery
More than what my eyes comprehend
I enjoy the things I don't understand
Things my ears see, and my eyes listen to
The stuff that leaves me angry and confused
I enjoy the architecture of creation
Move me, it is all I ask of the world
The universe doesn't even know
When I am wasting my time and breath
That big fat black plane of space to nowhere!
She only knows when I stick my meat
Deep inside a beautiful woman at night
As the woman calls her with moans
And she recognizes me after our *******
Now I say thank you as I
Reach for my time to forget the universe

I realize many folk are just
These layers of headaches after layers
They give you unnecessary ****
They mold you as a person
Inside their own understanding
Just so they can feel themselves
Yet once layer after layer begins
To peel off their existence, we see
We see them differently don't we?
What fascinating beings we are
There are those covered in layers
And each night remove it all,
And put their heads on the pillow
Happy what with they did all day
Moving far away from who they
Really are to this world ,
Just to recreate the imagine
Of whatever Tuesday came before
It is always one issue after another
Before they expose truth
Then the real magic happens
When they learn
How to hunt naked,
and be "themselves"

I look out to the street
And I know what I see
The cars, the drivers
The gas prices, the stop lights
The bus stops, the starbucks
The apartments, some trees
The afternoon jogger, the birds
People going where they don't
Actually want to be going,
And the people doing nothing
When all they desire
Is to be part of the picture
The society is a mixture of
Nothing and everything
And some sit high as
Others swing low
And I can't help but ask,
What am I really looking at??
It sure isn't the truth
The truth, is right here
Away from the noise, just looking

If you fear what man can do,
You will be paralyzed
By what life will show you
There is no mix up there, my friend
There goes the 83 bus now
Downtown Los Angeles
I believe the bus driver,
more than a President

The cheering had already begin
Nobody was in their seats
The race of the year, The race of the century?
It had been a long season for these two
Each with different odds to face
A rivalry made by the media
Cultivated by the perseverance of each rider
Clocks gone will jumps in front
Dubai tonight follows
But all eyes are on "Casino Lisbon"
And his brother "Silver Sea"
A mile and a half they stride
The race is loud and the crowd is wild
Instinct verses experience
Their strides are graceful
Their speed is immaculate
The younger of the two, "Silver Sea"
Knew he was out to win, his eyes said it
"Casino Lisbon" blood ran cold as he
Took the lead half way through the race
With ambition and determination they pushed
One horse goes out wide, but steady
Turns the corner and down the stretch
They battle for first! ******* !!

Neither can lose. But only one will win/
Who has worked harder than the other?
Who has pushed themselves during training?
Who will survive the ****** on the roof,
Waiting for his own fate?

They are neck and neck down the stretch
Casino Lisbon has a nose in front of Silver Sea

Pop. Pop.

Pop. Pop.

It was an early morning
Middle of the week, same drive
She felt heavier than her car,
Deep her in heart, down in her soul
She closes her sore eyes
Flashes of pain strike her
She opens them back up, focuses on the road
She has hurt before
She has felt real pain
Most men would love her quickly,
But usually hated her in the end
The lady loved good blues

On this morning to work
Rhemmy remembered a time
She had felt so much hurt
And she had done everything
To run from it, to tame it
To forget it, to heal it
All she had left was,
To be stronger than it
Rhemmy bursts into tears
She wipes her face, grips the wheel
It was that little moment  of insanity
That moment you let go
Just for a little to
Keep everything together
Tears continued down her cheek
As the song hit her pain
Striking that chord, that one feeling

It's the worry you need to get in front of
Run, walk, or crawl but keep moving
The ******* is a persistent ache
But it is you who create it and make it several hundred repeating thoughts at all hours of the night or day when the sun is high and you get lost in the bright bright bright lights of tomorrow
You cultivate the stampede of words that echo childishly throughout your mind as they fiddle with you
And if you let the big bulging tidal wave of anxiety and fear of tomorrow be one bigger than the tiny sentence you yourself created it actually is
Well, it's time to get up and check your clock and hands and apartment
You created this, this thing called "worry"
And in the end, you'll get rid of it
It's figuring how to, how to be ahead of this thing called "worry"
Reading, walking, working, sweating, driving, thinking about somebody you've ******, thinking of what you'll be able to get done tomorrow or right now or eventually, and it'll happen
Think of things bigger than the thoughts of worry of life of tomorrow
Think of what you're doing at the moment
Think of the World Cup or the driving test you took when you were a child
Think of the tv shows you laugh at
Think of the faces on the bus
Think of science think of painting
Think of your height or deli sandwiches
Think of the Tuesday night traffic you hear outside of your apartment window and think, where are they going tonight? Will my thoughts go with them or will I leave them here

From the chaos comes life
And the world is the stage
You will feel heavy, can not move
You struggle to breathe
It's a cage you try to claw out of
Each warm night that passes,
More black the sky becomes
There is a knife in your belly
Your tongue can taste nothing
It rips you limb from limb
And all you can do is watch,
Till the feast is complete
No one man or woman ever gets
Their path straight to the falls
Most give up, many feel nothing
Then there are those that with
Every bit of life which remains
Get up once again and try
They are beasts, they are fantasy
They are wizards, they are steel
They have been aided by the world,
"And that is not fair..." They say
But far from the truth that is
They are just most hungry
They lose themselves in the night
Only to be born again in the wild
For another story to write
For another face to fight
Here is to you, the few who dare
The ordinary sailor with light
In their eyes, and a soul of fire.

To be around those who have suffered
and made it out alive and beautiful
and with a soul which sings, to see someone more beautiful than art, to see when someone is connected to the world as they are with their own body and are able to water it with life and watch it slowly grow, to see reality of life through their eyes and from their voice, and to get pulled into their secret little room, that they can always go hide away in; The place where their madness is able to roam freely and explore and learn and exist without interference.

That is true beauty, that is being alive, that is everything most meaningful

Mr. Big Time Blues took at seat
As always, to the left of the bar
Sat real tall, never looked around
Nodded his head, double bourbon neat
Dusty old fella, but sharp and calm
Everyone made their assumptions;
Killer hit man, wall street tycoon,
Ex-marine, business owner of steel,
depending on the viewers,
it was always some different assumption
He would sit there round after round
Sitting taller after drink after drink
Getting up here and there
Dime in the jukebox in the corner
Went back to his seat, and nodded
He would sit and soak in the music
He would take in all the eyes
And I knew he would go back home
and continue his novel,
Mr. Big time Blues was a writer
With a six gun in his trousers
and a mind full of the blues and whiskey

You wake up with pain in the morning
Wash your face, your eyes begin to focus
It's about 6:45 a.m. and you work at 7:30 a.m.
Jump in the hot shower and let it soothe your back
Then the routine; One pill for the stomach,
Another for the back pain.
Which ***** up your stomach more
Then I welcome the headache
Those come with the dehydration,
Of the war in my body by the "medicine"
And the stress.. the stress is the extra kick
To the back around noon and you drink water
Like a fish and the bathroom at work is so clean
But your mind is still jacked
Because this "medicine" don't work, but
Somebody still got paid, thieves

Day in and day out you tunnel through the caves
And the rocks fall on you
And the people stare at you and wait
And the ex-wife sits with her knife
And the afternoon traffic laughs too

But you see yourself,
Submerged in a body of clear blue water
And your legs have become stronger
And you jump, kick up with force
Leaping out of the water and you swing!
Beating anything that's in your path
And it's usually life's big ******* face
K.O. punch to the jaw
The dust settles.

You check your legs and arms and neck
And hands and ears and heart rate
And you picture the next
30 years to tunnel through.

Another cold night in Eagle Rock, CA
New York flipped the switch
And the banks shined their shoes
The rent is paid and I've got.. the blues!
A buddy and a woman at my door
Clear sky and the cold ain't got me yet
Life make you shake, you start dancing
They take your heart, give 'em your soul
When the doctor says, "Take it easy."
Suit up pal, we are going for a ride
We ain't dead yet but we ain't rich
So take all you can take and go baby
Change what you can and keep swinging

Another cold night in Eagle Rock, CA
New York flipped the switch
And the banks shined their shoes
The rent is paid and I've got the blues
A buddy and a woman at my door
Cleark sky and the cold, ain't got me yet