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Sebastian Macias Jul 2016
It was an early morning
Middle of the week, same drive
She felt heavier than her car,
Deep her in heart, down in her soul
She closes her sore eyes
Flashes of pain strike her
She opens them back up, focuses on the road
She has hurt before
She has felt real pain
Most men would love her quickly,
But usually hated her in the end
The lady loved good blues

On this morning to work
Rhemmy remembered a time
She had felt so much hurt
And she had done everything
To run from it, to tame it
To forget it, to heal it
All she had left was,
To be stronger than it
Rhemmy bursts into tears
She wipes her face, grips the wheel
It was that little moment  of insanity
That moment you let go
Just for a little to
Keep everything together
Tears continued down her cheek
As the song hit her pain
Striking that chord, that one feeling
It has to start somewhere
Like all of the greats
You have to start
And you have to suffer
To move forward
Or else, it's worth ****
You have to start
And go mad till you
Achieve what you want
Whether you are mentally
Preparing for your 40s
Practicing your craft
Growing your body and mind
Just start and go mad
With desire for the ride
Sebastian Macias Jul 2018
Funny some days
When things won't go your way
And you see them nice cars
People enjoying their ice cream
Idiots smiling, arms full of insecurities

And you're in a boxing ring
With one woman eating at your soul
The mother of your child,
Bending your legs into halves
The one who brought you,
Screaming in the corner,
Loser! Shmuck! Mistake!
Circling, are challenged hyenas from work
Poking into you
Like an animal in a cage

And as your ******* sweats
Walking towards your train
You think to yourself,
They won't even see it coming
When you gotta wake up one day,

Tear everything to ****.
Eat everything in your path.
Sebastian Macias Jul 2017
There isn't ink in this pen, not today
Today comes in tough, stays a while
Them eyes get heavy, the heart is sore
Blues keeps you a float, so you sing
Tequila in the corner, the fan is loud
Hot summer days turn into early mornings
With a spark, you grab a laugh
Shoes are off and you lost your shirt
Like the flow of an ocean, baby
Come drift with me till we hit land
It's filling up and I'm feeling right
The pen is getting heavy and it's hard to see
Dark is a path to the light on the other end
Time to create a getaway, further and further
I need you more and more each day
Sebastian Macias Oct 2017
Her soft hair was golden
The wind caressed through it
Across her tranquil face
She kept a smile so warm
The brush around us swayed
Her hair moved along with it
We stood a top a hill
Over looking the world
I had a flask in hand
She held onto my arm
It was years and years
All in just a moment
There was no past
Life was so very still
There was no future
There was that moment
My eyes sank into
That big blue ocean of hers
She licked her lips
I pulled her close
There was all of that moment
Sebastian Macias Apr 2018
A word alone can not describe
The awful pain one carries
Once the flower in their life
Has damaged it's pedals
I see us as a garden
The tornado that protects us
Is also the one who destroys us
There is no level high enough
Of the remorse I feel
A sadness so pure
I am almost grateful for such
An authentic emotion in a lost world
You are a greatness in this world
Whom should be showered
From the heavens with praise and love
May the waters of the ocean
Cleanse the dark caves we've walked
May the bright blue sky
Kiss you in the night
I am here with you, all day and forever
With love,
Sebastian
I'm not cool
Never been cool
I've been with the women
And lived the many long nights
But I was never cool
I was never the "man"
I was just myself
And I can look into the mirror now
Sebastian Macias Aug 2017
Rough around the edges
Like a rhino on attack
The trees and sun look on
It is a machine for a heart
A deep river for a mind
Another day goes by
Just like the ocean breeze
To clear up that room of yours
Another day goes by
Just like this and that
Trying to find a smile
Inside a bucket of sand
Long drive at cold nights
Couldn't shake the mood
So I'll charge forward
As hard as possible
Tomorrow will open up
Like a butterfly when freed
To wonder the garden of today
Sebastian Macias Jul 2018
The hands of time play the fiddle
Each moment, a year  floats on
Each day, another decade turns
Many close their eyes
Sticking a needle in their arm
Hoping for the wave to crash
Others drink nectar from soft *******
Soothing their heart till night fall
Waking up only to close their eyes
The world can open up it's wings
All you feel is the smoke of the fires
I'll sit here with my glass
Waiting for a silence so pure
The ocean and skies would enjoy
As the soft whisper of death rests
Sebastian Macias Mar 2017
She howled late at night
Whispering secrets to me
Through the winds
Eyes glowed in the dark
The blanket of light above
Pitch black 5 feet away
Up close, all too real
It's cold tonight, I thought
Whiskey in the fire
A table full of dreams
A book shelf of the dead
A wild path in the rain
Even the river we will cross
With bare feet and sore eyes
Becoming part of her
Becoming part of it all
Sebastian Macias Apr 2017
It starts by accepting it
With a gaze in your eyes
Moves in slowly, a kiss
Starting at the corner of
Your top right lip
You shut your eyes
Another kiss on the
Inside of a cheek, near the nose
Then, moves to your closed eye
When you get goosebumps
The hand slowly slips off
A strap of the shirt
Striking at your neck with
A gentle and wild kiss
Pressing on your back
Then a soft bite at your chin
You open your eyes
Now a fire has begun
The two souls link back
At the center of the eyes
They are shut again
And it begins,
The long, tender, passionate kiss
The soul is now undressed
Sebastian Macias Nov 2017
These actors and actresses
Puppets being fiddled good
To showcase what "they" like
Thinking we've no minds
Powerful enough to write our history
My writing can be so pure
So visceral and blatant
I'm here within the walls of life
Doing the right thing they say
I'm not drowning yet, but
I have no material to make it so
To make an experience the answer
To make these walls sing
To make these fingers explode
Hope can be fatal
Unless you hold
What makes
Hope become alive
Unless all you
Can believe in
Is that hope
And nothing else
Can exist
But that hope
To live and become
Something else
Sebastian Macias Mar 2017
There is a lot that happens
Throughout the lifetime of a day
24 complete hours of life
Wake up daily, move forward
Know that change is occurring
One afternoon you'll look back
See the last 5 years, changed
You might feel like day to day
Seems the same
The job, apartment, drinks, women
All change, eventually, inevitably
Don't think for one second
That change won't come
It always comes, so work for it
Stay in front of change
You can create change
By moving forward,
Remembering everyday will not last
That change is everywhere
Sebastian Macias Feb 2017
There is a desperation
In the eyes of a certain few
Who know this is it
This blink of an eye in time
And after that, that's it
The eyes tell it all
The stories the storms
The winters the secrets
The whiskey the memories
Those eyes man,
They see the end of time
From books they know the past
And from their soul they have today
Tomorrow comes so fast
When you know the clock ticks
Tick tock tick tock
This is all we have and we know it
A desperation so pure
The desperation to live
To live and to forget about dying
Sebastian Macias Aug 2017
Anger is blindness
Consuming true feeling
Disintegrating the atmosphere
Waking up isn't waking up
Sleeping isn't sleep
Everything goes down a hole
Nothing builds up, but sideways
Looking back at you
So you try to fight it
Injuring yourself, in warm blood
It is a high you can't escape
A wrath so great, so visceral
Anger is blindness
Anger is blindness, but
At times - truly necessary
Sebastian Macias Sep 2018
The artist must become a whole
Completely obsessed with their art
Obsessed with who they are
Truly, who they are
Without hesitation
Infatuated about how they create
The art that makes them be,
What it makes them live for
From how they take their coffee
To every moment of a good ****
Reading in peace at dawn,
Picking fruit from a grocery store
The truest of artists are always lost
Lost in their own mind
Unconcerned with the lashing of
Society's moral tongue
Pushing themselves out to sea
Creating only to be alive from within
Where it all counts,
And it all has some value
Sebastian Macias Oct 2018
I can only here the piano
And the waves breaking
Speeding down the coast
But the answers are moving faster
The end is only in my head
I'm not old enough to drink
Now I'm too old for this life
I put the music louder
The tears are coming down
I really like this song
So I go faster
Chasing my questions
I can see the end
It's all my beautiful mistakes
Sebastian Macias Jul 2017
It'll take more than one
Object, or picture, or feeling
Emotion, or song, or person
In order to connect the vision
Nobody gets it otherwise
We are not machines yet
We must do it all natural
The growing, the experiences
The path to freedom and feeling
Is one with treacherous outcomes
It isn't easy or perfect or even possible
But we can try it out and look
We can tackle the jaguars,
We can fight the winds,
we can even float with the trees
It's all one big package
To take for ourselves as artists
We need the energy around us
We need to bite at life and know
That it will bite back at us
And that there, is creating
None of this should come out
The wrong way, yes wrong
Wanting the words to come
In golden boats to please
That's nothing true and honest
That will sink and be forgotten
The words needs truth
The words need pain
The words need to be unapologetic
They shouldn't be force or manipulated
Let them run free along with your mind
Don't be hesitant or afraid
It never works out right away
But if you keep on keeping on
They'll flow like milk into eternity
Nothing can hold them back
Some words fill in the blank spots
In between the great structures
Not every one will hold the punch
As in everything that is done,
Should be done as a whole, not alone
Combine it all together as one masterpiece
You'll see, after time, it's believable
Sebastian Macias Apr 2018
Ideas travel round the mind
Lost in vast pictures
Of many thoughts and creations
They cultivate heavily and unremorsefully
Lap after lap after lap
Moment after moment after nothing
Trying to make sense of anything
Before we full circle around to the truth
Life will give you perspective
And then **** you
Take your mistakes and learn
How to get back down the mountain
And when life gives you some light
You go in for the ****!
And you don't look back
And you don't apologize

Forward. Direction.

forward, forward, forward

You become more you than ever
You look from the outside in
And you fall backwards
Sebastian Macias Aug 2016
It is a weight I walk with
Even when the sky is blue
I can not look up

In the bubble life wraps you in
You're stuck with a desperation
Between the fruits of life,
And a struggle to stay awake
To live, to love, to enjoy
The weight blinds you
It takes over your body
And forces you to walk
Looking at everything you posses
And whispers, "Not yet."
Sebastian Macias Jun 2017
She rolled around all morning
Soft linen sheets, sun rising
an open window, blinds open
Living room bright,
Kitchen still clean
The breeze got her face
Rolling around, carrying her dreams
Empty bottle of wine from last night
Not a care in the world
Unapologetically being herself
Only thinking of music & soft skin
She enjoys a morning, early and calm
Exercising her mind for what's next
A sudden knock on a door
Two big brown eyes, her pupils expand
Sebastian Macias Nov 2017
As I write today
There is a sore in
My entire belly
Quiet but painful
Sitting there, waiting
As I write today,
My hands begin to sweat
Nervous at each stroke
New York was fun
The phones ring
Dinner tomorrow night
Sebastian Macias Jul 2017
There is a piano player
Playing his piano inside
The walls of my mind today
Grey mornings, freeway rides
The coffee gets colder with soft lips
His music is swaying back and forth
Without rhythm, pace, or purpose
Just going along with the tide
Until the sun comes up
And he's in bed again
Far away on an island of fruit & wine
Sebastian Macias Sep 2017
River of dark lust and pain
Clouds draping over the trees
A storm has passed through here
Mist and fog in every direction
I know how cold it is
Within my bones, she aches
Blood is pumping faster
After each step deep and deeper
My eyes are heavy, focused on
You and I at a battle
You're in a long satin black dress
Covered in old blood stains
I am naked and beat and bleeding
Your tongue is 5 feet long
Lashing at me, your claws are high
Screaming at my direction
Still as possible, I look deeper inside
Colder, and colder the night falls on us
You scratch at me, I shift my head
There is music we both hear
It's pumping more and more blood
We share one heart
Sebastian Macias Nov 2017
What is life without
The intensity of pain?
When blood runs thick
Eyes are focused
The mind like a wildfire
Nobody sees the truth
The way truth
Should be viewed
I took it on a ride before
And now it has traveled back
After many long journeys
Welcoming me home
MY magic carpet of doom
Sebastian Macias Nov 2018
Looking around the room
Buttoning your jacket tight
Feeling the frustration in your palms
As you try to write,
Is the same as it is in life,
Clawing at the brick walls
With your delicate fingers
Hoping to find a way out
And you bleed and cry
An aching body is all you own
The room is dancing a waltz
Not much you can do
Then, the air becomes thin
A loud airplane flies over your head
The only thing you can do
Is just walk through it
Hoping it survives on the other end
Your only tool?
Is remembering everything
You have taught yourself up till now
Sebastian Macias Aug 2016
One door swings open
Another face walks in
The street cars move along
And the wooden counter
Sets the playing field
For this *** and lime juice
I walked here in the heat
And I hear only voices behind me
But nobody says a word
And I sit at the York on York Blvd
Staring across at the closed doors
Of some old building that nobody
Remembered to keep open
Only the screaming man
Who holds the key to its past
Sneaks in at night to pray
During the afternoon light,
As a beautiful muse makes her future
We all are allowed to forget
Man, it's ******* hot today
Sebastian Macias Oct 2018
Moving forward
At your weakest moment
Surrendering to the truth
And above all,
Accepting the change
Beautiful people,
Doing beautiful things
There's a wild difference
Between what you see
And what you know
Sure a pretty face
Or shiny new car
Even a complete record collection,
I suppose, needed at times,
But have you ever
Sat yourself in a difficult position
Intentionally,
To find out who you are?
Looking back at our time together
There was never a start date
Nothing that I remember that
Marked when it all became real
It sort of just happened week after week
No asking permission or for an answer
We just knew this was something
It took both of us away from life I guess
Now we are here together still
No anniversaries, no magic first date
And those times when it's all about to end
Fighting like wolves, killing each other
It doesn't end there, the battle dies
And all we have left is a friendship
Then some really, really good ***
Sebastian Macias Aug 2016
Look outside when you read this.

Let's scream from a hill,
It's your life that's on the line
Nobody can pay for the "future"
It's not a guaranteed luxury
There is nobody who life owes
I know today isn't the best
And tomorrow is a cup of whiskey
So, right now, for me it's this;
I want beauty in my sight, always
Now, not the flip through tv channels
Non-substantial beauty most need
I'm talking about different beauty
Beauty like James Browns' voice
The beauty of the strong helping the weak
The man who is considerate to man
The woman carrying her child
The rich aiding the ones in need
The beauty when loving someone
Is more that grouped words
But making sure their lover is warm
The beauty you feel when
The hopeless fight for hope
When nobody else will believe them
Beauty, when a man gives his hand
Even when the world eats their flesh
The beauty in the eyes of fathers
When we know our sons future
Will be a battle they won't see
But we will have the story to tell them

The beauty miles away or feet away
Of the strong who help those
When then have nothing themselves
Except their good hearts.
There's something wrong with the world
It's filled to the brim with injustice
People on the streets decaying
While the others bathe in champagne
Walking by the homeless or poor
Stabs a knife deep into my back
Do I provide for my own family?
Or do I give away what others can't have?
I assume it falls upon perspective
Perspective really has a full plate does it
And too much responsibility these days
Sebastian Macias Jul 2018
When you don't carry heavy pockets
When the sun isn't shinning
When the rain is drowning you
And the trees are chasing you
The women are laughing at you
Your children can't see you
Your belly aches
And you're waking up alone
Shivering and the door is open
Listening to the howling in the night
So you ******* howl back
You're laying there on the floors
Time is passing you by
You've swam out so far
The coast is lost and it's dark
There is no dove to save you

That's when it happens.

And now you're here
Now you are here
Sometimes I feel the way I did
When I first watched,
"Requiem for a Dream"
Jennifer Conolley is on the phone
With Jared Leto
Asking if he was coming home soon
And she's crying and her makeup running
And he is crying and he is scared
And she's losing herself to the world
And he's losing his mind
And it just snaps you in half with pain
That scene made the movie for me
I still feel it, I'm still understanding it
Sebastian Macias Sep 2017
A piece of paper caught in the wind
Your wrist shifts up to move the hand
There is nothing to grip anymore
It has been taken away in the gusts
The gust of life are so precious
Many times we hate the inability
To be able to do more than the possible
We want to hold water, fly, live forever
Yet, we've no idea the responsibility
There is so much grey in the world
Tanto, tanto, tanto gris
We don't even know what to do
When it's all gone and we're left
To Swim, to Walk, to be Alive
Could I just become a song?
Play and run around between the music
Touch the human soul that drives us
Sebastian Macias Jun 2016
You wake up with pain in the morning
Wash your face, your eyes begin to focus
It's about 6:45 a.m. and you work at 7:30 a.m.
Jump in the hot shower and let it soothe your back
Then the routine; One pill for the stomach,
Another for the back pain.
Which ***** up your stomach more
Then I welcome the headache
Those come with the dehydration,
Of the war in my body by the "medicine"
And the stress.. the stress is the extra kick
To the back around noon and you drink water
Like a fish and the bathroom at work is so clean
But your mind is still jacked
Because this "medicine" don't work, but
Somebody still got paid, thieves

Day in and day out you tunnel through the caves
And the rocks fall on you
And the people stare at you and wait
And the ex-wife sits with her knife
And the afternoon traffic laughs too

But you see yourself,
Submerged in a body of clear blue water
And your legs have become stronger
And you jump, kick up with force
Leaping out of the water and you swing!
Beating anything that's in your path
And it's usually life's big ******* face
K.O. punch to the jaw
The dust settles.

You check your legs and arms and neck
And hands and ears and heart rate
And you picture the next
30 years to tunnel through.
Sebastian Macias Jul 2017
Beauty is in that cold water
That touches your hand
Like a soft kiss, comforting you
Stings like ice, but the pain is good
Bite into your apple, you'll see it
Blood from last night's dance
The coffee isn't strong enough
And you rather be in the sheets
Rolling around to that fine tune
Of birds whistling, cars going
People creating, people *******
Hiding from the daylight
Won't be friends till passed noon
It all feels so hard and you sing along
To the tune of the keyboard
As your apple looks back at you
It's rhythm, rhythm, rhythm
Trying to get through a break-up
Is as difficult as walking a battlefield
Without dying or losing a limb
There will be heroes
There will be causalities
Many make it across
Many begin new lives
Many help win the war
And everyone is grateful
To reach the end line
Till you step on a landmine
Sebastian Macias Jan 2017
There's a feeling some music
Gives a person in the morning
Driving to work or grabbing coffee
Early before the sun , naked
In their kitchen, in the mess
Last night was a long one, they whisper
It's the music that makes you feel -
When you close your eyes,
Singing along with your heart,
As if you had just walked into
A room full of old friends & new ones
They cheer as you walk in
Because it's been a while this time
But you haven't skipped a beat
The music plays louder in your head
You start moving them shoulders
The headache isn't so bad anymore
-You take a look of the view outside-
They 're all happy to see you
The music gets even louder now
So you scream aloud, "Oooh OOooh!"
"Oohh ohh ohhh ohhh"
You throw around the stones
And nobody gets hurt, so you dance on
Taking in the misery, glory, and truth
They all hold up their glass in anticipation
She comes up to you with a smile,
"Oh baby why you wait so long?"
You take a look around your place
Realizing how many memories we got
****, it ain't gonna hurt too bad
Sebastian Macias Sep 2018
Ever had that moment
When you meet someone
Catch their big eyes
And you absolutely knew
When you opened your eyes
That that person was meant
Exactly for that moment
Yeah, well, make that person your life
And know that each moment
Was meant to be lived
With a pounding heart
A fist of gold, glass of honey
Good or bad the moment
That's life talking, take it
Sebastian Macias Aug 2017
The journey of thousands, and thousands
Of little steps begins with just one push
The push to take one step then another
After that it all gets goin' baby
It's the fire that hurts but makes us
The pain and the agony and the hate
Slamming your fist on the brick skyscraper
The obstacle will always seem to big
But the obstacle is just right there
You have your steps in a bag
It's your deal to use them
Dig a hole, grab a ladder, get movin'
The obstacle is here today, maybe tomorrow
But it's never forever, so never discard that
Your ideas are stronger than all of this
Sebastian Macias Oct 2018
There is evil after each word
Time has lost all value
And Monday's aren't so bad
Funny to think about it
As life has gone, chapters closed
One begins to imagine something
A place that was never told
The hidden face of this world
Simply put, reality - the truths
Not the visual reality of daily life
But the one inside your mind
A reality that is essential
Here we begin to understand that
What makes us so powerful,
Also has the power to weaken us
What we crave like children
Most often surely destroys us
Another day on a calendar
One last chance for good bye
And you begin all over again
Ice
Sebastian Macias Sep 2017
Ice
Each step I take drags
I'm so tired and
It's been but 2 days
I turn the corner
Each time thinking you'll
Be sitting there waiting for me
The hands of time come down
Upon this life of yours
And one day you will not be here
You'll be dust and molecules
And memories if any remain
All the sadness and happiness
You've once felt will disappear
Just like your life, no apologies
And jut like that good song
It all comes to it's end, the end
The marvelous end of the film
And the only part that matters?
The middle of it, the chewy fat
How you live is what matters
So live *******
Drink the drinks and live the nights
Run for president of something
Write the books, draw the drawing
Have your reactions to the mess
Be naked in the morning
Just be careful with the coffee, eh
Build the suits, wear the dresses
Love your fellow human beings
Be comfortable with being uncomfortable
Life will happen soft or concrete
So come on and come on
Have a flow to everything and go
Sebastian Macias Jan 2017
We must've spun around about 78 times
The morning was a majestic disaster
Broken glass on the floor,
Paired with fallen curtains,
Scattered reading material,
Chocolate wrappers all over the rug

There was a sense of expired enjoyment
All over the living room
My eyes were all beat up
And the pain laid quietly beneath them

There was a tremble in my hands
All I could think about was
The window that doesn't open
Sean Daley's depression as a happy mess
Knowing today needed a mute button
Sebastian Macias Sep 2016
I want to dance with the devil
On a warm sandy beach
While the sun sets below the ocean
Getting drunk off pure happiness
As he tells me his secrets
And I tell him mine
We can create our own thoughts
Down here, there's plenty of silence
With trees of life and *** and freedom
Sebastian Macias Nov 2017
There is so much horror
A copious amount of pain
A never end tree of sorrow
This life has no easy battle
There is no instructions
And life itself, does not care
Once you let that sink in, know this
Even a battle ends,
A wound can heal,
As quickly as terror comes, it goes
Clear as glass this is true
Nothing can be forever
We are not sure forever even exists
In the midst of chaos
In the tidal wave of uncertainty
In the flames of despair
Know it isn't it, it doesn't end there
Generate energy, cultivate movement
Get to where you're going
Lift up your heavy head
Shake off the dust, blood, and tears
Nothing is powerful enough for forever
Grab at the horns, life is waiting
Sebastian Macias Jun 2018
It goes without saying,
That at the end of each day
There is a simple wish I
To enjoy good music,
Be good at my work,
And sit quietly under the sun
Enjoying a good drink
After an endless day
Here is to being alive, cheers
Sebastian Macias Oct 2018
es triste
que en un mundo
como hoy
honestidad
honestidad pura
no es bienvenido
todos necesitan
para convertirse en esta almohada
de comodidad
al diablo con eso
prefiero quemar
y ser libre
que ser

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