I guess this is my first.
It's really just a poem.
A few words
Arranged into a few lines
With a few spaces and dots and curly things that split our words into pieces...

Just my first.

No one really likes firsts, do they?
Not for school, at least,
Or for taking out the trash
Or forcing your legs to throw your body into the swelling body of water beneath you.
So, honestly,
I can't blame your for hating it.

Then again, you could love it.
After all, firsts are good for races.
They're also good for test scores.
And, if I'm remembering correctly, I know a set of twins that get into plenty of arguments about who should have come first.

So, yea, firsts can be good.

They're good for the presidents.
And the roosters.

Firsts are also pretty good for travelers.
I mean, if there were no firsts, how would travelers ever have anywhere new to go?

However, I don't really know how people feel about firsts in sickness.
Or death.
That could also be a bad one.

Well, anyway.
Here I am.
With a poem.
My first poem.
And, as we have found out here, firsts are very easy to love.
And they're very easy to hate.
And they're also very easy to ignore.

But I guess it doesn't really matter now, does it?
Because, what'll happen when my second comes along?

The tide collects it all by morning;
The drama and the ***** napalmed across the path.
The scenes at second warning for most had been swept away
Before they wiped the sand from their shoes.

Empty cans of Dutch and Tuborg slouched on the dunes
Are tight-lipped about the Velvet Strand's secret ecosystem;
An underground microcosm;
A peripheral cluster of seething emotions drowned.

Memories of those years - although some expired,
The vestiges take pride of place - hold a cosmic clump of smells,
Tastes, firsts, goosebumps, hangovers, and ends.
I never before understood what I was holding on to.

Winters down in the shelters nearly killed us but we
Huddled through the cold, lit cheap firelogs and
Found our oblivion. It didn't take much for me to develop  
A stagger - tolerance for a lot of things was learned later.

I narrowly recall my first taste of poor judgement and
Hazy-headed stargazing. Six cans of Stonehouse
Dry cider - most of which ended up on the hillside -
Was a ridiculous endeavour that will always be sublime.

At the heart of it, I did it to impress a girl;
The one every boy has or has had that sticks;
Who holds your firsts and your hands and makes
Things simple if only for her complexity;

The one that never fails to bring upon digression when
Pens are involved. Revisiting reminiscence on a jarring note,
I think of my Junior Cert exams and a cross-dressed man
Exposing himself to two uniformed boys behind the public toilets.

This one doesn't stir the joy of the others.
This one I wish would dissolve;
An ugly, awkward blotch on a childhood.

Luckily fondness trumps disgust when recalling that place
Because of sunrises and sunsets absorbed from the roof.
The Summers spent jumping the gap and drowning in the
Heat of the sun were everything.

The fugitive sand between our toes and under finger nails
Became an accepted nuisance, a part of the territory;
A lingering grain or two to drag you back.
I miss waking up with the smell of last night's faded fire.

there are 2 different kinds of lovers.
the first;
they love until their hearts bleed out.
the second;
they let the other person put in the effort and time and enjoy it.

the first usually fall for the second.

it would be amazing for two firsts, or two seconds to find each other.

never, it seems is this the case.

there are those who come right out and say they like you...... firsts.
there are those who hide behind moving vans and run from you in crowded rooms...... seconds
there are those afraid of breaking hearts......firsts
there are those afraid of getting theirs broken......seconds.
there are those who find no reason to stay......firsts
there are those who find no reason to leave......seconds

the world is divided between firsts and seconds.

why must the firsts fall for the seconds?

who ever truly taught us how to love?

I remember when I saw you
for the first time years ago
You brushed me off without a glance
I thought "that's someone I should know"

Time went by and walls came down
I softened your demeanor
It took some work, but I won out
Because, hell...you couldn't get much meaner

A first is always tougher
No matter what it is you do
But, each first is well worth living
If I can have my first with you

A few months in another first
You met my folks and friends
when I brought you to that birthday do
The one I wished would never end

You took your time and wore me down
Another first came soon
I remember how your body shone
All sweaty 'neath the moon

A first is always tougher
No matter what it is you do
But, each first is well worth living
If I can have my first with you

We married six months after that
In a year our first was born
I can't remember which one cried the most
You, or our baby, just new born

Our first house came, we bought a dog
Things were off and at full speed
But with all of our achievements
You were the one thing I'd still need

A first is always tougher
No matter what it is you do
But, each first is well worth living
If I can have my first with you

We opened up our business
The first of many more to come
It wasn't that successful
but it was still our number one

I remember that day's phone call
The doctor said "I've bad news for you"
He told me of the tumour
I'd passed first and was stage two

Through radiation and my chemo
You were the one who was always there
I remember when you came in
And you had shaved off all your hair

A first is always tougher
No matter what it is you do
But, each first is well worth living
If I can have my first with you

I've been gone now for a while
I know it's tough, but I'm around
I can see you and our child
Even though I'm in the ground

There'll be more firsts now together
I know it just won't be the same
But, still it's firsts and your'e together
Like when we first played out this game

A first is always tougher
Even though it's not with me
But, each first is well worth living
Just make it the best that it can be

Firsts are important, if you make them
We didn't, well we did but we didn't.
No regrets though.

Like young birds trying out their wings.

There was sometimes no camera or film,
some times little cash or a lost roll of film,
to mark a moment or a special day,
so we didn't.

Oh we did, make happy and we smiled
and laughed as firsts were, the first time
after all.

There was walking and talking which then became
running and now they have wings and fly.

I did not take pen and paper and write down the moment
with colourful description and names of all who were there,
I did not make the time, to be fair.

We still have no regrets that would be a first
if, we did.

They all grew up fine and they will now
know I am proud of who they have become
(if they did not know before, that would also be a first)
and how they got to where they are and did so by being
who God meant them to be, with some help
and guidance from her and me.

Oh how they soar!

And love, they know love, I hope that it would not
be a first, to know that they are loved, from first
time we found womb for them and for all time.

As they grew from younger to older, sometimes
every day it seemed that there was some first or other,
and now it is I who have firsts, my first daughter in law,
married to one son, and a first grandchild from our daughter
in the middle, and as for son number two, everyday is a first
and for him some things have not changed,
still no regrets,
even though the nest echoes from time to time to time.

Are firsts important?

I think that they are.

They mark a moment of courage

A moment of faith

A change

An experience that can shape

Your whole world view

You know I waited till 22

To change my mind

On being alone

Only to find

I would have waited

22 years more

Not to discover

What being alone

In that sense

Actually meant

And that's the truth of a bad day


But just how important are firsts really?

Firsts do not mean best necessarily

Firsts form a starting point

And once you start you may as well carry on

They're A foundation to build upon

A lesson to learn from

You know I waited till 22

To take risks, to raise the stakes

That meant I would make mistakes

Only to find

I wish I hadn't waited 22 years

When I saw how much progress can be generated

When you face your fears

All of which I wouldn't have discovered

*If I had continued to run away

GENERATION EQUALITY

It is equality when you work with her.
It is equality when she leads the team.
It is equality to see her, think her and call her the boss.
It is equality when she promotes her accomplishments.

It is equality to pay her the same as him for the same job.
It is for sure equality when you give her credit for that brilliant idea.
It is totally equality to admit she is more competent so she gets the job.
It is equality when she has an opinion and is confident to make it known.

It is equality when deciding for herself is norm.
It is equality when bias and stereotypes no longer define her.
It is equality when her achievements are no longer firsts.
It is equality when she is well represented in critical areas of concern.

It is definitely equality to treat her with respect and dignity.
It is absolutely equality to fight alongside her for peace and justice.
It is real equality to be her allie, support her future openly.
It is surely equality for her to reclaim and take up spaces.

Not just a woman, not just a girl, not just because she is your mother or wife,
Not just as your sister or your aunty, not just because she is your daughter,
But as the very evident, clear as day Human that she is in this generation and
Generations more to come.

An integral part of a collective whole, we all need to better uphold.  
Each one responsible, Each one acting consciously, Each one shaping up,
A generation for equality.

Belema .S. Ekine
belemascribbles