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Rebecca Scull Jun 2014
It's here again.
panic panic panic panic

Each breath a stab in the lungs,
making me feel breathless.

My heart pumping, thumping, pumping.
Blood rushing through the veins faster than before,
chasing the adrenaline
which was rushing to spread throughout my body.

My brain is moving a mile a minute,
racing my thoughts to the finish line.

I'm shaking now, I can't feel my hands.
Is this what it's like to join the dance?
I've heard a lot about it,
they often call it a tango.

You're dancing with the devil,
he's run his nail down your arm and spread his poison

I'm having a panic attack.

panic panic panic panic panic panic

Breathe deep. Breathe deep. Breathe.

Take a breath.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe deep.

Breaths I take.

Take a breath.
Take my life.

No, wait that's not right.

I'm dancing with the devil tonight.
Afterall, who doesn't like the tango?
Rebecca Scull Jun 2014
Love, actually
is nothing but two hearts intertwined.
love, actually
is nothing but two into one heart combined.

Love, actually

hurts so much.

but I'd rather have loved and lost

than to have loved never before.

My heart is intertwined
forever with yours in time.
Rebecca Scull Jun 2014
Happy Father's Day
To the best father I could ask for,
My mother who played both roles
Since I was only six months old.
Who bravely stepped up to a man
Who had been making our lives hell
And for knowing when I needed
A mother more than a father.
Thank you for saving
All five of us from a life with a man
Who loved alcohol more than his kids
Who loved smokin cigs
More than a nice barbecue.
Who never bothered to be a part of our lives
When the going was rough because of him.

Thank you Mom, for always putting us first.
Your the best father I could have asked for.
  Jun 2014 Rebecca Scull
Life
You will not look at me.

Not even look at the brave face I practiced
Not look at the smile I painted
Not at the dry eyes I skillfully mastered

This mask I made for you to see
But still, you will not look at me
As if my fakeness, will mutilate the image you have of me

*I can tell you, it will.
Rebecca Scull Jun 2014
We built this place.
Look around you,
We built it.
We built our home,
We built it all.
We built this life.
Don't you dare walk away
Saying that the fault was all mine.
Cause there's no 'I' in we.
We made the bed we lay in.
We made this.
Rebecca Scull Jun 2014
I'm not asking you to change,
Even if you are a mess right now,
I'm not placing you any blame.
In fact, I'm just as much of a mess
as you are and so much more,
because I fell in love with someone I shouldn't
like I never have before.
But your biggest argument,
is that I deserve so much better,
someone who isn't a mess right now,
someone who will take me out
and not be afraid to see someone
who either of us might know
and have to explain why we're together
though neither of us know.
I'm just as much a mess as you are,
and I'm scared to lose any time.
you're convinced soon your life will be over
and you can't take time out of mine.
But when you go further I want to pull you closer,
because I don't want to see me be with anyone but you
I do not want to love them the way that I love you,
I do not want to hold them the way that I hold you,
I do not want to walk down the aisle to anybody but you,
because I'll never be as comfortable with someone
as I was with you.
When I told you what he did to me,
you could barely open your eyes.
I think it was cause your tears would have fallen
like the rain does from the sky.
You told me you'd teach him a lesson,
you told me he'd regret the night.
And when I heard you say those last lines,
"With a hand around his throat
for touching something that was mine."
My heart skipped not just one, but a beat three different times.
Because I finally saw all that love filling the colors of your eyes.
  May 2014 Rebecca Scull
Leonard Nimoy
Because
I have known despair
I value hope

Because
I have tasted frustration
I value fulfillment

Because
I have been lonely
I value love
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