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Oct 5 · 189
Hereafter
Débijonne Oct 5
The nostalgia's been annihilating.
My heart hasn't stopped longing, my chest palpitating,
upon coming across old songs and movies
which remind me of good times of the past.
But in a way, I kind of understand.
I've always been scared of the future—
for I never see myself in them.
Mar 13 · 433
Lost
Débijonne Mar 13
You said,
you wanted to find
yourself.
Maybe that was why
you left—
breaking my heart.
When you broke it,
you found
yourself
inside.
Oct 2018 · 2.9k
Depression
Débijonne Oct 2018
but when i said
‘living on the edge,’
this was never
what i meant.

what i meant was real party all night
without parents’ permission;
not a pity party at night
with my self-destructing notions.

what i meant was real rollercoasters,
or go on life adventures;
not roller coasters
of all my life’s emotions.

what i meant was swim in the ocean,
or face my darkest fear.
not an ocean of my
darkest fears face me.

but i when i said
put ‘happy’ and ‘die’ together,
i meant to actually ‘die happy’
not to be ‘happy dying.’
wrote this piece for National Mental Health Week.
Sep 2018 · 7.4k
Equality
Débijonne Sep 2018
but
how is it
condemnable when we
only choose to
LOVE?
Post-Pride Week blues.
Aug 2018 · 380
Insomnia
Débijonne Aug 2018
Illusory
thoughts that this mind creates
At night where these thoughts
Just doesn’t seem to stop.    

Nostalgic
vibe that this mind brings
At night where the melancholy
appears from out of nowhere.    

Somber
experiences that this mind relives
At night where secrets
Are out in the open.      

Overly
Deafening silence that this mind hears
At night where your own heartbeat
seems to be the only sound.    

Manic
thinking that this mind undergoes
At night where these memories
Are suddenly brought up.

Nocturnal
body that this mind controls
At night where the eyes
should be closed.  

Incoherent
words that this mind forms
At night where drunken sentences
Are actually sober thoughts.  

Abyssal
state that this mind goes through
At night where darkness and
silence slowly kills your soul.
Shut up, thoughts. I am trying to sleep.
Aug 2018 · 358
A Single Flower He Gave Me
Débijonne Aug 2018
A single flower he gave me,
Sent my heart into a flutter.
Had my stomach drown in butterflies;
Made my knees go weaker.

A single flower he gave me
Instantaneously made me remember
The special times I shared with him
And our precious moments together.

A single flower he gave me
Was just like him as I rekindle.
The smoothness, the aesthetic,
The smell so sweet, the love’s symbol.

But that single flower he gave me
Also had thorns which pricked my finger.
I shed a tear like when he broke my heart;
A special flower no longer.
Aug 2018 · 55.3k
Social Media
Débijonne Aug 2018
Almost asleep when my phone ticked;
'A notification,' it says.
Your name was there, you liked my photo.
And my stomach drowned in butterflies—
Scratch that—moths, surely they're moths.
Stronger, buzzier, like your power
To occupy and stay in my brain
With that single heart emoji beside your name.
Thinking that the double tap
Is as if you love me just the same.
Shoutout to those whose crushes follow them on instagram. Mine doesn't. :( HAHAHA
Jun 2018 · 338
Caraphernelia
Débijonne Jun 2018
Beside what used to be your pillow, I wake.
Melancholy as I get out of bed.
Brushing teeth by the sink
With a jolt of sadness and dread;
your toothbrush on the brink.    

Eating the pain for breakfast.
Then wishing the shower can
wash away the misery.
I look at the mirror hoping that again,
I could meet your lips so dreamy.

But seeing that photo near the corner
reminds me why I must not bother.

Driving to work with the thought of you
sitting on the passenger seat.
I put my phone on top of my table.
Longing for your voice so sweet,
waiting for your message so playful.

Can you blame me if I can’t forget you?
Everything still lingers.
Everything reminds me.
I feel like I hold my heart in my fingers,
shattered to the highest degree.

I even take the long way home
to forget the state of being alone.

So please come back;
not for a brand new start.
But to keep our memories at bay;
to keep the pain, the pieces of my heart.
It used to beat for you, anyway.
Caraphernelia \ka-rə-fə(r)-‘nēl-yə\ noun : a broken-heart disease that occurs whenever someone leaves you, but leaves all of their belongings behind.

This poem was inspired by American post-******* band Pierce the Veil’s song of the same title.
Jun 2018 · 393
Chivalry is Dead
Débijonne Jun 2018
He asked me out,
and I said yes.
So I didn’t bring a sweater.
We walked through the night,
I got cold.
But his jacket, he didn’t offer.
Jun 2018 · 636
Love
Débijonne Jun 2018
no one realises
how powerful it is
until he or she
feels,
experiences,
or loses it.

it can either
make or break you,
that’s what love does.
strengthen
or shatter
one’s own heart.

but there are
indeed times like this,
where love could turn
one
into
a writer.
 
there are others,
many others out there:
they tend to turn
passion
into
prose.
   
there are others,
many others like me:
they tend to turn
pain
into
poetry.
May 2018 · 478
Walking Oxymoron
Débijonne May 2018
my mind a controlled chaos,
my heart an organised mess
beautifully painful are my emotions
i arguably acquiesce.
with my naturally strange company,
you’ll learn to deal with what life brings;
like the sad joys and sweet agonies,
with all the huge little things.
typically weird sometimes.
awfully good at acting natural.
i like small crowds in order to be myself
somehow, it is weirdly normal.
i’ve never told a lie, i am a liar.
i always busy myself with nothing.
i care deeply for humanity but
oftentimes, i loathe human beings.
my past experiences make me burn in tears,
i drown at the fire brought by
the aftermath of my unpleasant years.
so to protect myself,
i hate to love and love to hate.
just same differences, they create.

— The End —